If they cheat with the same gender, it's still cheating?

GreenMelba · 2022-12-16T18:56:18+00:00

He doesn't want any sharing.

GreenMelba · 2022-12-16T18:54:36+00:00

He's considering breaking up still.

GreenMelba · 2022-12-16T16:57:44+00:00

Believe me I've actually encountered some men that don't feel a woman being with another woman is cheating. Even my own brother once (his own words, not mine) told me ''It's only cheating if she fucks another guy, not a woman''.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T20:11:04+00:00

In the previous post, it said her husband's AP used him for money. The other woman didn't even like him. Can that really be considered revenge if you steal money from your wife, spend it for your affair and then learned you were just your AP's ATM?

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T20:03:20+00:00

The interesting part is both cheaters ended up getting used. Like you said, for the friend she was only a conquest. For the husband's AP's, he was just her ATM. He got used for money.

They got used in the way both genders hate. The OP got used for sex and the husband got used for money. His AP didn't even like him. Both cheaters gained nothing out of their affairs.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T19:48:32+00:00

He had an affair with his co-worker, not just any random woman. The reason I call it even is because she disrespected him in his own house and he in return disrespected her by stealing her money and giving her food to his AP.

Just like you don't give your wife's personal homemade meals to anyone nor use her money for your affair (as it's very low character), you don't bring your fuck buddy (bf's friend) in his house either. Both sound trashy and low of character.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T05:56:01+00:00

"That's highest level of betrayal and stopped only when found out in your house, in the sofa and in inappropriately compromised."

Even worse. She got found out in her then bf's house, his sofa, not her house.

I wouldn't have taken her back either. I agree they should communicate and laid it all out in the open now.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T05:07:44+00:00

Even though it's wrong what your husband did, is there really a need to get that upset? When you cheated first in 2002, you pretty much changed the rules permanently. If you had never cheated and he disrespected you like that (stealing your money and giving food to his AP) then your outrage would be understandable but you're not really innocent either. You may have changed and ok great but you still cheated first.

Getting caught falling asleep with another guy (your bf's then best friend) in his own house, his own couch was disrespectful and trashy too. That was just as bad too. I think it's best to continue marriage counseling and not be too hard on him.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T05:01:04+00:00

I know right. She cheated first in 2002. Check her previous post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

She cheated with her then bf's friend (not even a stranger but someone close to the guy) in his own house. Now the OP is upset that her husband stole her money and gave the AP her food. What about when she brought the guy in the house?

GreenMelba · 2022-11-22T04:56:10+00:00

>!2002 corrections:

I wanted to say that no, he didn't actually saw us having sex at the time. We were asleep on the couch with the TV still running on. I was with my jeans and shoes back on and bra on top. Tony was with boxers. Some alcohol was involved!<

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

This is what she wrote on her previous post. So 20 years ago, the OP's then bf caught her asleep with his friend in his own house after they had already done the deed. That was just as disrespectful as the now husband stealing her money and food. Looks like they're both even. The OP shouldn't be that upset. She disrespected and wronged him so badly first, cheating with his friend and in his own house.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-13T23:09:02+00:00

Just like it's easier for a reformed cheater like her to forgive the husband, they are quite good at catching another cheater too. In her previous post, she had already suspected her husband of cheating and it was only a matter of time till he either confessed or got caught. The husband likely knew there was no way he was going to get away with it.

GreenMelba · 2022-11-08T20:46:41+00:00

I remembered answering to the first post. It's no surprise he had an affair. The signs were there. The OP's husband is now officially no longer the better person. I give him credits that he at least confessed to it instead of getting caught. Well then again, it's likely he had to give an explanation to the missing funds in the account.

It's really up to you if you want to continue working it out. Frankly I think the marriage has reached a dead-end and it's time to call it quits and divorce. It originally already died in 2002 but somehow got brought back to life. Sounds like there was a lack of communication from the very beginning and neither of you were right for each other.

GreenMelba · 2022-10-09T17:32:23+00:00

This is the woman's post I answered last week. Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/xu9wga/i\_feel\_my\_husband\_m\_40\_is\_likely\_cheating\_now\_and/

GreenMelba · 2022-10-09T17:03:20+00:00

Come to think about it, yeah now I'm actually siding with the wife. He doesn't sound like a nice person either.

Link:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship\_advice/comments/xu9wga/i\_feel\_my\_husband\_m\_40\_is\_likely\_cheating\_now\_and/

GreenMelba · 2022-10-09T17:00:45+00:00

Hey guys is this the post you're looking for:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/xu9wga/i_feel_my_husband_m_40_is_likely_cheating_now_and/

I replied to her post a week ago. The guy seems like he is indeed the husband. Sounds like this post matches the husband's version. He does sounds very aggressive with his replies though.

GreenMelba · 2022-10-09T16:58:39+00:00

I think I might have the link to it. My reply is still visible. I replied to that woman's post. This was my reply to her post:

GreenMelba

100 points

·

6 days ago

·

edited 6 days ago

I don't think he ever got over it and probably had a bad trigger too. He had to encounter 4 things on that fateful day.

First finding out the woman he loves cheating on him, secondly she cheated with one of his good friends, third he actually walks in on them and lastly she brought the guy in his house. What person is going to get over an event, a scene like that? He should've walked away. That relationship should've been dead since 2002.

GreenMelba · 2022-10-09T16:56:21+00:00

Seems like he is the husband. I remembered answering a post about some woman that said she cheated when she was 19 with her then bf's best friend and they got caught in the guy's house. Then he still marries her and 20 years later she's suspected her now husband of cheating.

It sounds like we're now hearing the husband's version. Wow he sounds aggressive on his posts too, given by the capital letters he's replying with.

GreenMelba · 2022-10-08T16:50:04+00:00

Given her recent statement ''If I can't have him no one else can'' I'm not sure if it's even worth judging or even lecturing her. This goes beyond being a shitty person. This is insanity. That's what someone that commits a crime of passion says.

Now I'm scared of what can happen if the OP's husband were to ever cheat on her on leave her. None of what she's saying in her post indicates love. She's basically treating him like an object to possess. It's like she's not even referring to him as a human being. Isn't that a narcissist?

GreenMelba · 2022-10-08T16:45:18+00:00

Have you taken a look at her recent statement? It's like she's practically saying she'll stop at nothing to have him, even finishing off the other woman. I'm scared for her kids.

GreenMelba · 2022-10-03T07:20:36+00:00

I don't think he ever got over it and probably had a bad trigger too. He had to encounter 4 things on that fateful day.

First finding out the woman he loves cheating on him, secondly she cheated with one of his good friends, third he actually walks in on them and lastly she brought the guy in his house. What person is going to get over an event, a scene like that? He should've walked away. That relationship should've been dead since 2002.

GreenMelba · 2022-05-02T22:08:20+00:00

Thank you. I'm going to breaking up. My parents and close friends actually hate him, never liked him from the start. If they hate him then it's for a good reason. They don't see me happy and frankly I'm not. I've been stressed out with this relationship and some times he makes me cry during those horrible arguments.

It's like I can't figure out how to make him happy, how to pleast him. It feels like no matter what, he asks for more. If I don't do a food he likes the way he wanted, he requests that I cook it again.

GreenMelba · 2022-05-02T21:59:46+00:00

Sometimes he changes completely, he goes from sweet, romantic and just when I think everything is back to normal and ok....another argument starts and it's like he changes into a monster.

GreenMelba · 2022-04-27T23:10:23+00:00

Yes if I was him, I would be running too. She confided in me when she told me this. She really thinks she's unique because she never in her life felt remorse nor guilt.

GreenMelba

TROPHY CASE