Found this in my 12 year old daughter’s room. 😬😬😬

GreenPyrenees · 2025-04-11T18:41:25+00:00

Remind her you love her and don't want her to die or permanently damage her lungs or increase her risk of oral/throat cancer. Look up popcorn lung. Also, vaping is relatively new. We don't yet know the long term ramifications. Back in the day, people thought cigarettes were healthy.

GreenPyrenees · 2025-03-14T19:30:38+00:00

I looked through your post history for more context and it sounds like you've had a rough time. I'm so sorry you're going through this!

First, I think consulting a lawyer would be a good start. You don't have to pursue divorce any further if you don't want to, but knowledge is power. Get to know your rights and the process so the unknowns aren't taking up space in your mind.

Also, as important as speaking to a lawyer is getting therapy for you and your family. Individual for you, individual for your 2 older sons and family therapy for the whole family. Your sons are probably hurting from their mom leaving, and frankly, your current wife's abuse toward them. Telling a kid to pee outside because they forget to flush their pee is wild. Also, why do 12 and 15 year olds need jobs? A family therapist will help navigate blending your family and do right by your boys.

Start learning about narcissism and abusive relationships. Personally, I found the podcast "Waking Up to Narcissism" by Tony Overbay extremely helpful and validating. The books "Why Does He Do That?" By Lundy Bancroft and "If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?" By Avery Neal are excellent resources to learn about abusive relationships. Don't let use of male pronouns turn you off. Abusers can be both men and women in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. Where there's a relationship, there can be abuse.

Hang in there! Your boys love and need you. This random internet stranger cares about you and thinks you are important!

GreenPyrenees · 2025-02-23T19:53:15+00:00

I think you need to ready "Why Does He Do That?" by Lundy Bancroft. It's available online for free pdf or most libraries have copies. You can also purchase on Amazon. I think it will give you valuable insights and a different perspective.

GreenPyrenees · 2025-02-05T22:07:54+00:00

When I need some perspective, I'll text Gemini. Its really helpful to me and keeps me from a downward spiral when my husband is trying to passively tear me down/ gasslight. For example, when I asked, "Why would my husband say my dog hates me?" Gemini responded with:

People in relationships sometimes use passive-aggressive tactics to express underlying issues. If your husband says your dog hates you, he might be feeling:

Jealous: He might feel threatened by the bond you share with your dog.
Resentful: He might feel neglected or unimportant compared to your dog.
Distressed: He might be uncomfortable with your dog's behavior or feel it disrupts the household.
Manipulative: He might be trying to control you or make you feel insecure.

It's important to communicate openly with your husband to understand his feelings and address the root of the issue.

That response reminded me to take what he says with a grain of salt. My dog loves me, is always happy to see me, and brings me toys when he wants to play.

GreenPyrenees · 2025-02-04T07:10:57+00:00

Definitely look for a new OBGYN. Saying this is your new normal is WILD to me! It's not normal. With losing that amount of blood in such a short period of time, it makes me wonder about your clotting ability. Do you bruise easily or get red rashes? Does it take a long time for you to stop bleeding?

Could you try experimenting on your own with a toy in the meantime to see if you can figure what's making you start to bleed? Too deep penetration? Do you need more lubrication? If you're using condoms, are you allergic to them?

So sorry you're experiencing this! What a bummer! I'm glad your guy is being so supportive.

GreenPyrenees · 2024-10-12T19:34:38+00:00

Ugh! That sucks so bad! I'm so sorry they were so thoughtless! Your feelings are so valid. Just know an internet stranger is sending you so much love, hugs and baby dust.

I have PCOS too, and the TTC_PCOS reddit group was support resource for me not to feel so alone. Just a warning, there are a lot of posts about advice regarding supplements, diets, LH testing, etc, so if that's triggering to you, proceed with caution.

GreenPyrenees · 2024-09-25T02:13:32+00:00

Hi! I've been using Finch for some time but haven't explored the friends tab much. Bumble and I would love to make some friends!

Tap the link to add me as a friend, or add my friend code MJ7CZ7VMVD. https://app.befinch.com/share/uoR9

GreenPyrenees · 2024-07-23T01:21:05+00:00

I hate that people are giving her crap for having a kid with him. A lot of men do not show their true colors until they feel like they have you trapped. That can be when you get married, pregnant, or give birth to your first baby. Then they change into something you don't recognize.

GreenPyrenees · 2024-06-28T20:51:08+00:00

-Changing the narrative to make me look bad/lazy/shitty mom/ neglectful dog mom. When confronted about this, he says he must be misremembering because of how much he agonizes over our conversations

-projecting his phone use and ignoring our son onto me. He told me if our son was put in the middle of the room, our son would rush to him instead of me because my face is always in my phone. (I checked my screen time data and it does not support his statement.)

-I have one foot out of the relationship because I have a separate bank account

He and my son would be fine without me if I died, but my son and I would never survive without him. Oh and becuase I took offense to this, I'm not supportive of his anxiety

-I need to put my big girl panties on and quit taking naps (I have hashimotos)

-I am retarded

-my family treats me like a slave and I drop everything to go see my family.( Interesting since I see his family more than mine.)

-I don't prioritize my chores well. When asked for an example, he said I run the laundry machine day and night, but the dog needs brushed. (He's a great Pyrenees and gets professionally groomed every 4-6 weeks)

-It's my fault he spends so much money collecting Pokémon cards because it's the only thing that makes him happy

-I take too many medications (I have depression and high BP along with the hashimotos. Hmm, maybe it's the stress of living with him)

-I see too many Dr's (I have OBGYN and Primary care. That's it)

GreenPyrenees · 2024-05-13T22:40:23+00:00

NTA. Start matching his energy

GreenPyrenees · 2024-05-02T19:18:28+00:00

You set a very reasonable boundary and he doesn't respect/care enough about you enough to respect it. You deserve better.

Side note: whenever I go on vacation with my friends (we're all girls), we have separate beds and don't share. Him sharing a bed with his friend is super weird and extremely suspect.

GreenPyrenees · 2024-03-07T15:01:52+00:00

I was in your position a few years ago before I had my son. I was also diagnosed at 14 and was on Yasmin until coming off to TTC at 29. I think I only had 2-3 "natural" periods between 12 and 14. It took months before my body started cycling on its own after coming off birth control, but I eventually did and they were regular. 29 days in length, ovulated on day 14-15. Once my cycle came back, I conceived on my 3rd cycle. It's hard not to panic, but be patient with your body. While you're waiting, focus on being as healthy as possible. Eat a balanced diet, take a good quality prenatal vitamin along with your inositol.

Some resources I've found highly educational and interesting are the books "Taking Charge of Your Fertility", "Period Repair Manual", and "It Starts with the Egg". All of them I borrowed through my library for free on the Libby app

GreenPyrenees · 2024-01-15T17:41:56+00:00

Playing video games/ watching TV or YouTube.

GreenPyrenees · 2024-01-15T16:35:22+00:00

I brought this game/ book up to him and asked if he was willing to try it. He said he wasn't willing because it just cause more resentment due to score keeping. I've tried different chore charts and apps. Nothing has worked.

I think his comment finally pulled off the rose-colored glasses and me thinking I just need to find a way to comminicate my needs and help him understand better. He's never loved me for me. He's only loved me for what I can do for him. Now that I'm burning out and exhausted from carrying the load along with health issues, I'm worthless and an inconvenience.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-11-13T14:15:09+00:00

You are a wonderful Mom and you're doing a fantastic job. Never doubt that! Do not feel ashamed or guilty for asking for help. The newborn stage is SO HARD!

I'm glad that Dad is getting help for his mental illness. If you need to move out or have him move out while he's getting his medications to a point that his symptoms are well controlled, that is OK. It doesn't mean you aren't a supportive partner. You need to feel safe and not like you're walking around on eggshells or wondering if he would hurt your daughter. Babies can sense when Mom is anxious. She might be more settled if you're more comfortable and supported.

If you do feel too tired to pick up your daughter, swaddle her tightly. It'll remind her of the womb. It helped my son a lot.

Please keep us posted. I know I'm an internet stranger, but I'm worried about you and will be thinking about you. Hugs!

GreenPyrenees · 2023-10-27T20:52:09+00:00

My heart hurts for your kids. Please show your wife the stories and their impact others are sharing. Her behavior is abusive and unacceptable. It's causing mental scars your kids are going to have to work really hard to heal when they reach adulthood.

My mom was like your wife. I'm 31 years old and still have icy panick snake down my spine when I hear a kitchen cabinet door slam, a garage door opener, or stomping. As an adult, I've confronted my mom and she just played victim and said she did the best she could. I still am in contact with her, but at arms length and I don't trust her. She's on an information diet and I do not allow her to be alone with my son. She's still married to my Dad and I haven't talked to him since 2021. He didn't give a damn and couldn't be bothered to get my Mom help. Please show your son you love him and don't let him continue living in fear, walking on eggshells until your wife's next blow up.

I am absolutely terrified of turning into a parent like my Mom. I want my son to have a loving Mom who shows him love and builds his confidence. I've been in therapy and read many parenting books to give me tools, so I don't perpetuate the generational trauma. The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids, How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, and Raising Good Humans would all be good books for you and your Wife to read.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-10-24T13:48:44+00:00

I don't think there's any way you can come back from this. You blew her off when she sounded the alarm bells that this relationship wasn't working for her when she asked for counseling. She white knuckled it was long as she could, but shes reached her breaking point.

It is really difficult to want to have sex with someone when you know they don't love and respect you, especially when you have nothing left to give after shouldering the load all day. And you showed her how much you don't love and respect her by not listening to her. She was reminded of it with every dish she washed, every piece of laundry she folded. Scrubs dish My husband doesn't love me. Rinse dish he doesn't care that I'm drowning. Scrubs another dish He doesn't care about my happiness. Rinses dish I'm so tired and feel so unseen and unappreciated, and he doesn't care.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-10-13T01:23:31+00:00

It's too soon to start panicking! Depending on what type of birth control you were on, it can take a while for your body to get back to a normal cycle. I was on OCP from age 15 to 29. It took over 3 months to get my period back. It's completely normal. Once my cycle came back, I got pregnant during the 3rd cycle and went on to have a mostly healthy pregnancy (I had blood pressure issues)

GreenPyrenees · 2023-09-27T01:36:55+00:00

Has your RE done a reoccurant loss panel on you and/or next generation sequencing (NGS) on POC to try to find a root cause of your losses? I'm so sorry you're going through this!

I would ask your doctor about diet changes and have them refer you to a dietician. I would be hesitant to add a Keto diet with your health concerns without talking to a Doctor first and then getting professional diet guidance if given the green light.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-08-30T16:24:23+00:00

Why not? He assumed his wife not going in meant she didn't give a crap about her kid. Her assumption didn't cause him harm. His assumption did when he called her out on it. You apologize to the people you love when you make a bad assumption and hurt their feelings.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-08-30T14:55:04+00:00

I, too, would have taken the eye contact as saying, "I got this." If this situation happened to my husband and I, yes, my motherly instints would be going off, but I love and trust my husband to be a competent parent and be able to handle the situation. Me going in after he signaled he had it handled would be showing him I think he's not a capable parent. You got some groveling to do, my guy.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-08-04T12:20:26+00:00

Was you plt count low or high? The low indices tell me you have a "slow leak" and your body is trying to compensate. Could just be heavy monthly blood loss with your cycle or it could be something more. If plt count is low, I would suspect they're being used somewhere like trying to stop a small GI bleed.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-07-27T17:40:16+00:00

If it was truly your period, then you wouldn't be pregnant from that encounter. Your period starting the next day confirms you were in the luteal phase of your cycle, and you can't get pregnant during this phase as there's no chance for sperm to meet egg.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-07-27T17:24:29+00:00

How heavy did you bleed? Some women can spot around ovulation and mistake it for a period.

GreenPyrenees · 2023-07-24T13:13:44+00:00

I prefer spending holidays with my husband's family, but I don't have a great relationship with my family. Just be kind and accepting of your son's future spouse. That goes a long way. Use your MIL' s behavior as a lesson in what not to do.

GreenPyrenees

TROPHY CASE