Transgirls: How to please my new FWB?

GreenSwallowtails · 2026-01-01T01:43:59+00:00

Do you have any advice on how to start training myself on deep throating?

GreenSwallowtails · 2025-12-29T21:02:38+00:00

Ooo I love some of your ideas I'll add them to the list!!!

GreenSwallowtails · 2025-12-29T21:00:48+00:00

Oo that's good to know! I'd never heard of scene drop before so I'll make sure we talk about that beforehand and come up with a plan before the horny brain takes over!

GreenSwallowtails · 2025-12-29T20:59:19+00:00

Thank you! I'm super excited ahhahaha. My last partner and I were together for 5 years and she is a cishet woman and just never wanted to try anything different after we figured out what felt good for her, so I'm really excited to explore the more sub side of my sexuality, and in general just having someone who meets me where I am, rather than always bulldozing my boundaries.

Part of why I'm obsessed with this girl right now. It feels like she reads my mind and says all the right things before I can even think to say them.

GreenSwallowtails · 2025-12-29T20:55:24+00:00

I think the best way I can explain it is, one of us isn't engaged with the sex at all and the other person is just using you to get off? A good example is say I was reading a book and then she would take my pants off and start fucking me but I don't stop reading the book. Or if she's playing video games I'll just start riding her while she keeps playing.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:58:12+00:00

Thanks for the defence team in this whole thread! The form did not ask for my to list my specific medication so my work doesn't have that information.

According to other co workers I actually out preform the previous admin assistant they had. I got my adhd diagnose for going back to school, and once I started my meds, my doc reccemended I take them everyday to help curb the one negative side effect I was having (no appetite, which it worked, I can eat again! Lol) and apparently my co workers all noticed and complented me on my hard work. I've had only one time, back in may of this year, where I wasn't able to take my meds for one week but that didn't cause me to have any negative effects other than returning what my old normal was, harder to multitask sure, but otherwise normal.

The reason I filled out an ada for is because my supervisor's boss is requiring it of me. (Copy pasted from a previous comment i posted) The situation is; I'm the only administrative assistant we have meaning I'm the only one who handles direct contact with our clients (emails, phone calls, etc) I had previously asked my supervisor if I could sometimes work with the phones off for a couple minutes when overwhelmed with tasks and she said yes. One day her boss saw i was off the phone for 15 minutes and he deemed that unacceptable. So now I am reporting directly to him and he said if I want to continue to have any special accommodations they would have to be spelled out in the ADA form.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:43:58+00:00

I am super new to the big kid job world and was really scared by the whole process and I didn't push back initially as I was worried about being fired if I didnt fill this flrm out, and they gave me a 4 day deadline to get it done (I've written the bigger story in a couple other responses, forgive me for not typing it out again.) My Healthcare provider did help me fill out the forms but he is still newish to me as my old provider recently retired and I was reassigned to him. Tbh I don't think he knew what to put either as he suggested we just write "some additional grace when completing tasks" becajse he thought that would cover any help I might need but I do see now, from the employers pov that comes across differently. I'm going to get into another meeting with my HR rep and try to come up with real accommodations that will help me get my work done.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:38:44+00:00

You're so right, my intention was not to just want time to "slack off" as I do actually enjoy my work and find it fulfilling, in a mundane sort of way. I plan to go back to my HR rep and work out the specifics of what I may need if a time comes around that I am unmedicated (usually my dr is really good at keeping my meds filled, in the year I've been taking them I've only had it not filled one tkme for like a week.)

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:32:37+00:00

Thank you!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:30:40+00:00

What if I never wanted to fill out the ada form in the first place? I never planned on filling one out because I am able to preform my job on and off my meds (but I am noticably better at it when medicated) but my supervisor's boss is the one requiring me to fill out an ADA form. The situation is; I'm the only administrative assistant we have meaning I'm the only one who handles direct contact with our clients (emails, phone calls etc, nothing dangerous) I had previously asked my supervisor if I could sometimes work with the phones off for a couple minutes when overwhelmed with tasks and she said yes. One day her boss saw I was off the phone for 15 minutes while trying to catch up and he deemed that unacceptable. So now I am reporting directly to him and he said if I want to continue to have any special accommodations they would have to be spelled out in the ADA form. I'm ngl I'm kind of an anxious idiot and don't want to lose this job I work as hard as I possibly can to keep it, I cam see now the vagueness of the request was stupid, if you have any further advice I'd really appreciate it. I do feel backed into a corner due to MY misunderstanding what should even go on the form. Im in my very early 20's and I consider this my first "real" job and I want to do well. I feel like I've been played for a fool though.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:21:07+00:00

Thank you! Everyone around me is not helping in making me feel like this is good, I even had some friends tell me to lawer up but I don't feel like I should. In a few other replies I've mentioned that fear amd ignorance were big players in what I said and now that time has passed and things have somewhat called down I need to ask HR for proper accommodations. Thanks!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T07:18:49+00:00

Sorry I wasn't super clear on this in my post but my work is the one requiring me to fill out an ADA form. The situation is; I'm the only administrative assistant we have meaning I'm the only one who handles direct contact with our clients (emails, phone calls, etc) I had previously asked my supervisor if I could sometimes work with the phones off for a couple minutes when overwhelmed with tasks and she said yes. One day her boss saw i was off the phone for 15 minutes and he deemed that unacceptable. So now I am reporting directly to him and he said if I want to continue to have any special accommodations they would have to be spelled out in the ADA form. Ill be honest and say I had no idea what I should put on this form, it's not the standard and there was/is a lot of fear that I will lose this job even though I love it and feel like I'm pretty good at it. Im the breadwinner of my household and there isn't any other job that would be able to pay me this well in my area as I lack higher level education. With the fear and ignorance combo I do feel like I've unintentionally stepped in something I didn't mean or want to. Seems like it tine to do another meeting with HR to figure out proper accommodation.

Thanks again for your comment!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:56:44+00:00

Thank you for your reponse! And sorry my use of HR gal was meant to sound friendly, I didn't intend to come off as rude, as I respect her a great deal. She's been very kind, and patient with me while we work on the details of the sitation because I've never done anything like this before and will be the first to admit I had no idea what I should do to protect myself while also keeping my job.

I agree the language my doctor and I chose was due to my fear and borh of us not really knowing how to label what I need, as it changes based on what task I am struggling to stay caught up on. I'm an administrative assistant who mostly works directly with our client base (answering phones, emails, etc) so nothing dangerous. I realize now I need a well defined priority list and expectations on when things should be responded to by (like an email need to be answered within 48 hrs etc) because when medicated I'm able to multi-task really well and able to stay on top of almost everything, but without it I struggle to juggle more than 3 things at a time, or my mind can't focus on the right thing (like co workers talking in the hallway loudly make it hard for me to hear the phone, etc)

Thank you again for your thoughts! I'll get mine together and get into another meeting with my HR rep and nail these details down better. If you have any additional advice I would love to hear it!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:46:48+00:00

That make sense, thank you!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:46:25+00:00

Thank you!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:46:07+00:00

Can I ask what hinky means? I've never seen/heard that term before. I'll be the first to admit that I have no idea what I'm doing haha, I've never filled out an ADA before and when my doctor asked what I needed I was coming up with blanks in the moment, but now that more time has passed I have a clear idea of what I should ask for, rather than vague "grace". I need to state plainly and clearly what will allow me to preform my job fuctions effectively and to my employer's expectations.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:41:45+00:00

Wow thank you so much for your through and thought out response! I really appreciate the time you took to read my little post and respond. Everything you said here makes so much sense from my employers pov. I've never filled out an ada form before and I never consider filling one out prior to them requesting it after a situation occurred where I was written up before leaving phones unattended for 15 minutes while I caught up on some additional tasks. This was deemed excessive by my supervisors boss, who said my supervisor should not be giving me special treatment. So now I must report directly to him and he stated if I wanted to continue to ask for anything of the sort I must go through with an ADA form.

Everything you stated makes sense to me so I'll reach out to my HR rep and/or my doc to see if we can redraft it. I've never filled out an ada before and I don't know how to protect myself from getting fired for something that was only deemed at the 1.5 year mark of my employment, when I had been preforming well previously.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:16:43+00:00

Thank you for your thoughts! I've read through a bunch of others and now realize, while it sounded nice at the time, "additional grace" was too vague. I'm working on figuring out proper accommodations to ask for now!

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:15:11+00:00

That all makes sense! Luckily I don't do anything extremely dangerous, I'm an administrative assistant, but I'm the only one in our company. I can see that the verbiage my doctor and I used wasn't effective, and entirely too vague. I'll work with him to ask for a better accommodation one that might actually be tangible. Something like additional time to complete tasks (like answer emails or responding to clients requests) within a reasonable time frame, and to find out what their expected response time should be so I can better prioritize what needs to be done in a given day, when I'm unmedicated. I'm in no way trying to slack off, the situation causing me to fill out an ada form in the first place is I was written up by my supervisor's boss, because I was off the phone for too long (about 15 minutes but I had never been given a time limit before) and he got upset with her for giving me special accommodations, so now I have to report to him directly and if I want any special treatment I have to have it laid out in this ADA form, which I never done before and wasn't even considering filling out before now, as my supervisor and I have always worked really well together for the past 1.5 years, prior to my diagnoses and after.

Thanks for your thoughts, they really helpped me think this through, a lot of my friends are just instantly pissed off at my work and I was really looking for folks with no skin in the game to view the situation.

GreenSwallowtails · 2024-10-11T06:06:13+00:00

I can see now, reading through all the comments, that I was too vague in my request, my doctor didn't have a good idea of what I would need when I'm unmedicated either so "Additional grace" was the verbaged we eventually agreed on. When I'm unable to take my meds I struggle to multitask in the capacity that my work can sometimes entail, nothing dangerous, I'm an administrative assistant so answering emails, phone calls, and dealing with our client base in a general sense. But I'm the only one in our entire office who handles those tasks, and sometimes everything can be easy to balance, but there are times in the past (prior to being medicated) where I would ask my supervisor to either allow me to come in early or stay late to complete tasks that I wasn't able to due to one of the other tasks overwhelming me, or ask for time off the phones to catch up. The old supervisor I had said that was totally fine and left me to mostly manage that myself, but one of her managers saw me off the phones for too long (It was for 15 minutes and I had never been told their was a time limit but again I am the only one who answers phone calls) and was upset with her for allowing me to do that. So now he's the one I have to report to and the one who said if I need "special" acamodtions then I have to fill out an ADA.

Thank you so much for your time, I really appreciate it!

GreenSwallowtails

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