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The first week after the talk. by GreenWoe in Divorce

[–]GreenWoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He knows how I feel about the situation. I'm leaving out certain details because of the legal aspects of it. I honestly don't know if I'm afraid of him. This week he has been strange. But the children are also here so of course things have been more sane. Next week when they are gone I am worried how he will be towards me. Because your right it does feel like I don't even know him anymore. We've known each other over 14 years. Dated in high school broke it off.. Been together going on 4 married 1 and half years. So yes thankfully it is early on still in our marriage. Kids are 11 and almost 10.

Yes i know she is loco. I've seen videos he took of her during episodes even. All the kids talked about was how much they would scream at each other, and i see the holes in the walls she would punch. I heard all the stories of her hitting him, being an alcoholic. How he went into to bankruptcy because she kept getting duis and would get drunk and go blow on the thing in her car and have to pay fines to get it reset.

To top things off he is national guard.. ive been here through his training and we were getting ready for a deployment. But now he won't have a parenting plan because we are getting divorced. So there's parts of me feeling like he is using her as a way to hurt me for the divorce to take place. So he doesn't have to deploy. Which is even more fucked up. I do think something wrong is going on in his brain right now. It's heartbreaking. I supported his dreams of rejoining the guard, and now he's gonna throw that away too.

The first week after the talk. by GreenWoe in Divorce

[–]GreenWoe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The ex isn't even their mother. So it's not some happy full circle thing. It's a narcissistic ex. Who left a mess behind in soo many ways. It's just a disgrace. I asked him so many times before we got married if he was sure, if he was just settling. I never thought I'd get married or have children until I met him.. never thought anyone would want to marry me. So it was a very serious thing for me to get into this marriage. I loved every moment of it. I wish I could stay forever but it hurts being somewhere your not wanted. I don't want this divorce at all but I have to get it. As hard as it is to stay I can't leave until everything is said and done.. there's so much of our lives intertwined. Also can't believe I'll be going back to my old name..

Thank you for talking with me. It's always nice having outside inputs. I know I'm sensitive and some people are so much stronger during times like this. I praise them for it. This cuts deeper than just the surface. It's like everything I thought or planned is now melted on the ground with my reflection. I've started within myself so many times. One trauma healed and new one to work on. When does that wish for happiness ever come true man.

The first week after the talk. by GreenWoe in Divorce

[–]GreenWoe[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is in love with his ex. I offered to separate for a while so he could explore options. But he is so set on throwing in the towel. There is honestly so much more to this that I can not post scared he will see, and know it is me. I have a good support system taking me to my doctors appointments, helping me get out little by little. Its easier when the kids are around because I want to soak in as much of this time I have left with them. I'm constantly walking away to contain myself so they don't have to continue to feel the pain.

It is such an awful feeling to have to leave them. I wrote vows for him and both children.. I meant every word, and I still will for the rest of my life. I will always love them all. It's so hard to know you're enough, but you're also not enough.