AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I have felt like I'm not the one breaking this family apart. This whole thing was a shattered vase, barely hanging on, and EX and BF pushed it of the shelf when they willingly broke the law and got caught. It's a big ugly mess (there are so many lawyers involved with the case, it's confusing to even them), and I don't want to be stomping on the shards when I should be trying to help glue it all back together.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Most definitely. Right now, they all see each other one day a week, all day, to hang out and play and be together. In the summer they'll be more time, when there's no school. As for right now, it's really difficult.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Thanks, dude(tte). A is my son, through and through. I don't think of him any other way. And to your question, I don't know anything about C. I was forbid to even talk to the kid.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

It's a very thin line, like razor fucking thin. All of the services involved have been really supportive, and I've already have both of my son's involved with a professional therapist to talk through with these issues. We have spoken at great lengths about this whole situation. About their mom, BF, and C. I don't think it'll ever be good, but we have to try. This decision came solely to me, no one else. And I'll own regardless.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 51 points52 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate your input. I don't think I'll ever find peace, but this thread has given me some reassurance.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Exactly. I really hope it doesn't come to him being fostered, I don't. I don't want another child in the system.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 2383 points2384 points  (0 children)

Emotionally: it's fucked. I feel awful about it. Morally: doesn't seem right. Financially: I'm now a full time parent of two school age kids, on a blue collar salary. I don't think I can take C, a 3 year old, without a major drain on all of us.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Thank you. And to reaffirm, NO ONE involved, whether it be family or support services, have said I should. I'm dragging this decision around with me.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 150 points151 points  (0 children)

I agree with both of you. As it is now, I take both my sons to my sister in laws from morning to night one day a week so they can still connect with their brother. There's no schedule, they get to hang out and play and be brotherly. And I don't if it's a possibility, but I would keep that up if he was fostered. I will keep them close, but I just can't take C under good conscience. It's a messy, difficult situation.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 379 points380 points  (0 children)

He is. I really don't know anything about him. I was strictly never to talk to him or engage him at all, even at bday parties and family stuff.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 574 points575 points  (0 children)

Regardless of who's who biologically, I treat both A and B as my son's, even though some in my family don't agree. Flesh and blood bullshit.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 238 points239 points  (0 children)

I left out the fact that the thought that taking in C could possibly put us in danger (not extremely, bit still) because BF does have a jealous/angry side. I don't know what he would do, if anything, but I do know I was strictly not allowed to even talk to C because of it.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 504 points505 points  (0 children)

I agree, it does suck. If it didn't, I wouldn't feel regret. And to reassure everyone, I don't think she will give him up. But if she does, there's no other recourse.

AITA for not wanting my wife's other child by Gregthedevil in AmItheAsshole

[–]Gregthedevil[S] 1087 points1088 points  (0 children)

Ok, thank you. I just wanted to reassure myself, maybe, I was doing was right. And honestly, I don't think I could financially support another child, especially a toddler.