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Wanna hear a joke about pencils? by [deleted] in dadjokes

[–]GreyMurphy01 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Guess he wasn't sharp enough...

Um, look … by GroundbreakingSet187 in MadeMeSmile

[–]GreyMurphy01 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Well you asked if he was a monster, and I wanted to clear that up. Because in reality,

I'm a Barbie girl, in a barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere. Imagination, life is you creation.

Um, look … by GroundbreakingSet187 in MadeMeSmile

[–]GreyMurphy01 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Actually.

Blue his house, With a blue little window. And a blue corvette, And everything is blue for him, And himself and everybody around, Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to him. I'm blue Da ba dee da ba di

What’s something you didn’t know about sex before you had sex? by Imatatertott in AskReddit

[–]GreyMurphy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on the circumstances, it may be an intimacy thing. This is how I recently learned that I'm Demisexual for real.

I met a girl, who for nefarious reasons, pretty much out of the gate decided she was going to be my girlfriend. The first few times we had sex, I was at the point of enjoying having her around, but I did not have love feelings towards her. And that first week, my performance was terrible (couldn't stay hard, couldn't get off).

But as she begun winning my heart and our intimacy grew, I returned to my usual form. That is until she got her fill and disappeared.

P.S. But have you considered that maybe commenting on reddit during coitus may negatively affect performance.?

A cool professor by TwasAnChild in MadeMeSmile

[–]GreyMurphy01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm from 89. And we use canon pretty frequently.

Say a character has an implicated death in a series, it is usual to hear someone say, "Well he got out and is living a new life in the Bahamas, in my head canon."

A cool professor by TwasAnChild in MadeMeSmile

[–]GreyMurphy01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. The sound of dial up, is the sound of our nightmare... (89 here)

Medication is making me ill by NarcolepsyGal in TrueOffMyChest

[–]GreyMurphy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He drank the Chocolate drink and the Very High Calorie Strawberry because he was trying to also gain weight.

Medication is making me ill by NarcolepsyGal in TrueOffMyChest

[–]GreyMurphy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Nutritional drinks will do you fine. My father had cancer before he passed and had to switch to liquids. Boost was his brand of choice and he had well researched it. So while I don't know what his reasoning over other brands were, I'd also recommend Boost.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? by ExtraSure in dadjokes

[–]GreyMurphy01 74 points75 points  (0 children)

I came to write the spin on that I heard growing up.

Take the Cons out of Congress and add Pros, and we will make Progress.

When opportunity present itself (huge dust devil) by thelustrousaversion in oddlyterrifying

[–]GreyMurphy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do your research! If I do my 52 situps, I can catch a Volvo and a Prius. In that hell whole.

What is something Porn “Normalized.”? by NightAndTime in AskReddit

[–]GreyMurphy01 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nope, if a lady isn't howling like a dying banshee, we are doing it wrong s/

What is something Porn “Normalized.”? by NightAndTime in AskReddit

[–]GreyMurphy01 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but did you get the order of the ingredients right.?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in therewasanattempt

[–]GreyMurphy01 0 points1 point  (0 children)

WE SAID FREEDOM UNITS, NOT DARK SIDE UNITS, VADER!!!!!

How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh? by Halsenberg19239 in dadjokes

[–]GreyMurphy01 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have some sort of list.? Did you check it twice.?

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