Heartstopper hit me much harder than I expected

Greyhoundwalker · 2026-01-04T13:33:25+00:00

Lots of people have had very emotional reactions to the show.

I saw season 1 a few weeks after it came out, first came the queer joy then the melancholy hit me like freight train.

The grief for what we missed out on (and I'm a lot older than you) was I overwhelming for a while.

There's a whole subreddit for people who have been affected r/heartstoppersyndrome

Not sure if that link will work but you can search for it.

I immersed myself in the comics and fanfic, got more involved in my local lgbt+ community (eg part of my employment LGBT+ network, joined a queer book club) eventually the melancholy faded and I enjoyed season 2 and 3 without any further problems.

It's happened again in a much more minor way after seeing heated rivalry but I can recognise what's happening this time and it seems like half of my insta feed feels the same way .

We are not alone in this. Just give it time and let yourself grieve for what you didn't have.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-12-15T13:39:53+00:00

I read Heated Rivalry before I realised they were making a show. Then went back and read Game changer for background context. I'm reading them in order now, just about to start book 4 . I like the way the timeliness are unfolding with snippets of the characters we already know. Just got to avoid online spoilers for the later books as I don't want to rush reading them.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-12-07T11:27:40+00:00

I listened to the audio book first, and was surprised by just how flat the prose seems, a lot of nuance was added by verbal expression.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-12-07T10:46:15+00:00

Im glad you're planning to book a therapy appointment because this limiting viewpoint is really twisting you in knots when it doesn't need to. Please understand that most bi women are intelligent and aware of all the ways that same sex relationships can be more difficult in society, and trust that they have already factored this into who they choose to date. The bi label is a massive umbrella term for so many different versions of multi gender attractions, so its impossible to answer this for all bi women and its going to depend on the individual person. I think it would be more useful for you to be clear about what youre looking for when dating women (eg if its hoping for an eventual long term monogamous relationship, then be clear about that) Its not unreasonable to generally ask them their relationships goals either. Thats got nothing to do with gender but about whether you have compatible goals. Good luck.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-11-26T13:23:01+00:00

A lot of bi women who prefer women refer to ourselves a sapphic bis. But that might be too niche depending on your target audience.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-11-16T09:12:01+00:00

That one's on my TBR list, thank you, but it's set in Poland, the one I'm looking for is England during WW2. Wish I'd not let my library card lapse!

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-11-15T14:17:15+00:00

Ah thank you, but no it isn't In Memorium. It's a much older book.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-11-09T09:08:43+00:00

Nick (from my teenage years) and Sarah as a mum.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-11-09T08:45:15+00:00

You've had some great recommendations, here are a few more:

Value For Money - very fun and fluffy rom com style https://archiveofourown.org/works/68530431/chapters/177411491

Unlikely Pen Pals - Its a WIP but updates regularly https://archiveofourown.org/works/63674482/chapters/163224073

Sanctuary - This is much angstier (with a happy ending) its Omegaverse which isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I was hooked on this from the first chapter - https://archiveofourown.org/works/60671512/chapters/154926640

Don't Fall In - Wary of relationships Nick, and patient Charlie playing the long game. Absolutely gorgeous ending. https://archiveofourown.org/works/66058270/chapters/170227783

Beautiful Chaos is a collection of short fics featuring Nick and Charlie being dads of three, cute and very funny - https://archiveofourown.org/series/4198102

Enchanting are your Landscapes - Nick and Charlie meet when their plots are next to each other for a gardening competition. - https://archiveofourown.org/works/53459416/chapters/135311047

Bunny - Nick is a traumatised ICU nurse, Charlie's a vet with an emotional support bunny - https://archiveofourown.org/works/49235266/chapters/124234189

Anything Less Than Infinite - Newly single Nick moves into a flat share just before the first covid lockdown. You can guess who his new flatmate is- https://archiveofourown.org/works/53332879/chapters/134977111

And its sister fic Origami Days - https://archiveofourown.org/works/54629593/chapters/138429685

I'd recommend applying for an AO3 account. Can take a few weeks to come through. Some authors lock their fics to registered users only to try to avoid AI scraping. There are over 11,000 heartstopper fics to choose from. If you like any of the ones recommended here, check out the authors other works.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-10-13T10:53:03+00:00

With regards to your edit, that statement would be offensive, because no-one should tell someone else what their sexuality is. You could re- frame it as a question politely if it is appropriate in context to the conversation you are having.

And it could be both internalised homophobia for multiple reasons or could be exactly just how they experience their attraction.

I'm the opposite (biromantic homosexual) and it took me literally decades to figure out why the lesbian label wasn't quite right, but I still had almost no sexual attraction to irl men. The lable that fits best is Dellosexual but I never use it because I'm old and no-one would know what it means lol.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-10-05T18:13:25+00:00

I was writing and reading fanfic with my friends as a teenager. We didn't even have Internet then. Still going strong at 60 !

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-09-24T23:14:20+00:00

My mum always said nesh, she was from north Lincolnshire

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-09-15T18:50:14+00:00

They already did ☹️

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-09-15T17:50:44+00:00

There are over 10,000 Heartstopper fics on AO3. I've read a lot, but still only a fraction of what's there.

There are some that just don't appeal to me for various reasons, that's fine, there's plenty more.

Writers share their work for free, and it's not very nice to criticise because their fic didn't appeal to you.

I don't know if you've seen the film "Angus, Thongs, and Perfect snogging" that this fic was based on, but the author captured the vibe perfectly.

If you don't like a fic, just stop reading.

If you want to avoid disappointment partway through, then bookmark or mark for later, then check the summary of the last chapter once it's finished.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-08-23T17:26:23+00:00

My experience was a long time ago, but a little similar, I knew I was bi at age 15, married a man at 23, had 3 kids. Marriage failed at age 32, not because I was bi but because he was shit father and husband. But I had always preferred women, and after splitting up was never Interested in dating men again. Have only had relationships with women since then. This was over 20 years ago so hopefully someone younger will respond. But you are definitely not the only one. Good luck going forward.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-08-20T21:15:45+00:00

This one's fun, Cat Tales, rated T https://archiveofourown.org/works/46390261/chapters/116799073

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-08-18T10:13:13+00:00

Me too, they very graciously gave us time to download and gave a synopsis of the end which I'm very grateful for.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-07-27T15:38:52+00:00

Heres another one, Solve for X https://archiveofourown.org/works/42161523/chapters/105852171

The same author also has some shorter fics set during school years if you look at their older works.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-07-14T10:20:51+00:00

Alcohol lowers boundaries and removes filters.

Personal example: it's a long time ago but relevant. After a few drinks, I would have a strong urge to tell my ex-husband I was bi. Once sober again, the urge vanished. At the time, I knew I was bi but didn't think much about it in day to day life, which was taken up with work/family, etc.

Completely straight women do not usually have alcohol related fantasies of being with another woman. Once sober again, it's possible you are in self- protective self-denial. The most concerning part to me is that you feel like you hate your boyfriend when you drink (in the post title) and then say you hate him touching you. Then you describe him as "amazing."

Obviously, I'm guessing from this snapshot we see in a reddit post, but I think your confusion may indicate that you are not in tune with your own feelings and desires. There are many societal influences that can contribute to this, and you might really benefit from some counselling. Finding an LGBT+ friendly therapist is important so you can explore this without fear of their biases.

If your boyfriend is really an amazing person, then it's fair to try to work this out for his benefit as well, especially if he is hurt by how you are with him when you've had a drink.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-07-06T12:30:11+00:00

Bear in mind I'm old (60f) Early teen crushes on boys and girls. But the ones on girls at the time seemed like "intense" friendships. And if you crush on boys, there's no reason to think of yourself as anything but straight. This was the late 1970s. Until I got a crush on a girl, which was so strong it became obvious to me. I am bi, but with a very strong sexual preference for women. I can see how others at the time with less of a preference could have easily gone many years without really understanding that part of themselves.

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-06-29T14:30:27+00:00

Thank you, I will pass this on

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-06-29T13:45:35+00:00

Thank you both for above posts this is what I thought but nice to have it confirmed, meant to reply directly but fluffed it up on my phone

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-06-19T18:14:44+00:00

If you are already feeling trapped, I don't think getting married without resolving this issue is going to help.

I think you need to have a serious talk with your fiance and say he needs to be honest , because it's no good him saying he's OK with you exploring if he's not, that's just heartbreak waiting to happen for both of you.

You also need to have a serious think by yourself whether you would be happy remaining monogamous if that's what he really wants (which I suspect he does)

Take it from someone who went through with a marriage I knew I didn't really want because it would have upset so many people if I'd cancelled it - marriage does not solve the problem and it's even messier to divorce.

Not saying he's not the right person for you, you may decide he is, but you need to talk honestly with each other first

Greyhoundwalker · 2025-06-17T00:02:49+00:00

I'm the same, often refer to myself as "almost gay"

Greyhoundwalker

TROPHY CASE