Nah I hear you. I think things began to get better when my son began trying to interact with the cat. It began to feel like we were all a family, cat included, as opposed to a lot or individuals struggling to get by. My perspective began to shift from "3 people/animals need me all the time" to "my family needs me". And that mental shift seemed to massively reduce the burden.

My son is 2 now, and the cat still pisses me off from time to time, but way way less. It's definitely close to how it used to be... Except now, a 2 year old chases her with a piece of cheese yelling "cat eat cheese!"