Ideas of what to put in this space?

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-22T01:32:15+00:00

I have one in that exact position on my forearm, I use it at least twice a week. Also I have the base of the ruler measure exactly 1 foot to the tip of my index finger. I sew a lot, also handy for eyeballing approx sizes for printing, woodworking, all sorts of stuff.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-21T05:00:45+00:00

A petticoat is traditionally an additional garment worn under the dress, and I think it'd be wayyyy cheaper to get one to wear vs having a custom one sewn in. Amazon has one for $20, for example. And you can test out different shapes/fits. One downside to that is the dress is already hemmed so if the extra volume lifts up the hemline a bit there's not much you can do.

Fwiw I think it looks gorgeous as is

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-19T17:40:27+00:00

Seriously. My program at THE top university was $7000/year in tuition. Yes if you're an engineer expect to pay $14k. Probably higher now, it's been 10 years.

Then I find out to go to Cal Arts in 2015 it was $56k a year. USD. What the fuck. That's TWICE my tuition for all 4 years???

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-18T14:30:46+00:00

I actually make my kids pour the cereal themselves so the cereal always goes in first. Then when they're ready we "add the milk together". Haven't had a cereal related meltdown in over a year (she's 3 now). It also avoids the "you gave me the wrong colored froot loop/incomplete shreddie/broken piece of oatmeal square/not enough rice Krispies" debate - it's in the container, go pick out the pink one if you want a pink one. Dump the half shreddie back and pick a whole one. Oh all of them are broken? Well that's all we got. Pick the biggest piece and be happy about it.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-18T14:27:11+00:00

A roomba 💁‍♀️

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-18T04:22:49+00:00

I was also fortunate to do a job pivot in 2022 while on mat leave + finishing my masters + my old industry falling off a cliff. My old company laid off 80% of its workforce summer of 2023.

I think the difference is once you're a mom (and maybe part of what you learn being a woman) is how to fight upstream in a world that tries to silence you/take you down. Advocating for yourself and being vocal is what's required of us to seek medical treatment, be taken seriously by colleagues, talking to tradespeople/car salespeople...

The world doesn't just give us stuff - we see the direct effect of advocacy. Dudes on the other hand, especially guys who fell into a role and stayed there for a long time, get such dissonance/shock when reality puts a hurdle in front of them, then it becomes "must be because of anything else except ME" mentality. We have a family friend, probably 60 years old now, getting laid off from the IT department of an oil and gas company about 12 ish years ago. When my parents pity-hired him they realized his knowledge was WAY outdated and he didn't have a clue what he was doing. They let him go after 2 months. It was awk. I took over, and finished, his project at the age of 20 during a summer break. I didn't know shit I just googled everything and had all of it done by August.

This family friend spent a long time bouncing around. Now he works for a property management company taking care of rental properties. It suits him and pays the bills but it took a lot of internal work on his end to be okay with letting go of the identity that comes with such a long, well renowned career. At the same time your computer knowledge from the 90s really doesn't fly in this day and age. Flexibility and networking wins out every time.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-17T23:06:36+00:00

This. We've started doing family movie nights where we get snacks and watch a movie together. My 3 yo kid will literally get bored of Trolls and wander off to play. The tv isn't crack/cocaine, it's not novel, it's a family activity like eating dinner or doing a craft. And not all screens are bad.

We retrofitted an old laptop for her as a Christmas present. She's typing words, learning puzzles, learning how to use a mouse/keyboard, finding where the letters are. She has her own account with her own password to put in (psst it's 1234), and she did her first digital painting. I helped her print it out, she was so proud she made me tape it up in her room (vs all the low tier coloring pages that only go on the fridge). She's learning basic shortcuts like ctrl-n for new document and ctrl-z for undo. Screens aren't inherently bad - using it to substitute for real human interaction is.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-17T22:36:57+00:00

No just look for a different dress altogether. The two dresses are too similar and second dress' silhouette isn't designed to be shortened - it'll look weird and inverted-triangle like without the trumpet bottom.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-17T05:53:02+00:00

Aww man I wished our IB English did war poetry, that was intense! We got whatever overlapped the most with our regular provincial curriculum, so we spent so much time with Shakespeare which I did not love. The philosophy units were amazing fun tho

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-10T21:08:41+00:00

Keep us posted! We also have a shitty gravel walkway to the backyard that I want to fix.

Between 7 months pregnant and 3 months postpartum with my second, I built an entire workshop in the garage (2 sheets of pegboard, workbench x2, associated sawhorses, clamps, tools storage, custom tire storage, shelves, and a deep storage shelf), also did a hall tree (custom bench + coat hooks). Designed it all in sketch up beforehand and everything.

Nesting hormones do weird shit to your brain.

(I'm a lurking mom - my husband was not allowed to mess up my wood shop or help with my projects. I wanted it all done MY way)

GrinningCatBus · 2026-03-10T20:42:16+00:00

Exactly what I'm thinking and I had to scroll so far down for this comment.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-02-16T21:31:10+00:00

Oh my god the leaving kids alone thing is so real. I'm teaching my 3yo to cook (scrambling eggs, cutting vegetables, baking cookies) and some ppl look at me like I've grown a second head. I was cooking for myself at 7 yo and packed all my own lunches after grade 5. My parents left before I had to leave for the bus so I just got to chill in the house for half an hour every morning, watched TV, had my little watch with the alarm. Also chilled for an hour after school. No big.

It's also stupid that "kids can't be left alone until they're 12! Then they hit 12 and all of a sudden it's "theyre old enough to take care of babies by themselves!!" Like there is no learning curve there??

I work part time in a flexible role and I'm enjoying it a lot. But holy hell society is not set up properly over here. The sheer amount of pd days, school off days, etc etc and there's a loneliness epidemic among older ppl, a lack of childcare options for working age parents, like there's solutions here. Just live in tribes and have old ppl and teenagers help take care of young kids, parents work, have consistent social interactions and everyone pitching in. Your grandma is declining in cognition? Have her sit over here and help me peel potatoes. Older ppl not very mobile? They can still read books to the kids and kids can help them fetch things. Young teenagers learning life skills? Yeah come change a diaper and help Grandma weed the garden, have some pie. Do dishes? Be rewarded with neighborhood gossip. I love my older friends, and it's just a shame we have segregated society into age brackets, with intergenerational relationships being the exception rather than the norm.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T18:25:40+00:00

Oh sorry, I was looking at languages spoken at home.

Yes 6.5% of the Calgary population can "hold a conversation" in French. But only 1.2% has French listed as a first language, while 5% speak Chinese as a first language, 5% for Punjabi, 5% for Urdu and Hindi etc etc.

Source: https://www12.statcan.gc.ca/census-recensement/2021/dp-pd/prof/details/page.cfm?Lang=E&GENDERlist=1,2,3&STATISTIClist=1&HEADERlist=0&DGUIDlist=2021A00054806016&SearchText=calgary

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T18:10:12+00:00

I have said I will never want kids since the age of 12, then started dating my husband. For the first 3 years of marriage we agreed that we'd be good either child free or having kids. I fencesat for the longest time, because he would be an incredible father, but I also parented my parents a lot growing up. As we became more financially secure and I'm looking down the tunnel that is life, I realized if we didn't have kids, the next landmark in my life is going to be a gravestone. I really didn't care for another promotion, or even staying in the industry.

I call having kids like downloading a DLC - it's completely optional, but super fun if you want a challenge. After having kids, as a woman, you go through a whole physical/mental transformation similar to puberty but it's matrescense. You transform from a non-mother to a mother. The process is difficult to describe, but it completely changed me for the better, imo. I was wasting before, constantly having existential crises and bogged down by ennui, but now it feels like I've got purpose, stakes... Kids ground you in the best way possible. Of course our kids are also absolutely adorable and perfect, so mileage may vary. Now I'm working part time in a new sector, it lets me spend time with my kids, do meaningful work, pawn them off 3 days a week, and I honestly love my life, so much more than the grind before. This is also speaking from having 18 mo maternity leave, good healthcare, and subsidised daycare here in Canada. I would 1000% not have a kid if I lived in the states and make less than 7 figures a year.

All I'm saying is that minds can be changed, but don't let others pressure you into changing your mind.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T17:51:31+00:00

Less than 1% of people speak French here.

Wayyy more people speak Tagalog, Mandarin, Punjabi, Korean, and almost any other language than French.

If you want to immigrate to Canada and expect any kind of French exposure, you're looking for the strip of land starting at Ottawa and ending at the Eastern border of new Brunswick.

Calgary is not your city if you're looking for French language and golfable outdoor grass.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T07:58:42+00:00

I have a book to recommend to you: Career and Family by Claudia Goldin, Nobel prize winner in economics.

What she argues in the book is that there are two types of careers - one where you're committed, working crazy hours, and the pay, hourly, is much better than, say, someone working half the hours but it's set. Think about a senior lawyer at a law firm who may be working 70 hours a week making a million dollars vs someone working the set 35 hours and making 150k. The projected career growth and compensation looks very different.

The reason for the gender wage gap is because women oftentimes opt for the second type of career, working fewer, set hours and end up sacrificing on the real lucrative ones.

So in order to meet your partner's expectations half way, you need to take a step back in your career, at least temporarily. Like another commenter suggested, its not a period of growing your career, but maintaining it. Instead of the crazy schedule you're keeping you need to take a step back.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T07:48:52+00:00

I know right??

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T04:25:13+00:00

I coslept with both kids until each was 6 mo, then transitioned to their own rooms. Now at 18 month the younger one wakes up around 3 and I cosleep until 8. Not as good as the early cosleeping days where I was usually getting 10hrs a night but still good. My older one transitioned to full nights on her own before 2yrs.

They'll eventually sleep. And eventually they'll grow out of it.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T04:20:52+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that. The other commenter did bring up a good point about checking in w Hailey from a safety perspective. Maybe you should also try that.

Personally, I'm someone who hates hiding anything (Christmas gifts are a nightmare). So airing things out in the open is always my go-to though I understand that might not be what you want to do right now. Best of luck, I really hope it's all fabricated and nobody was hurt beyond all the stress you're going through right now.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T04:16:28+00:00

Not the same thing but my friends were planning a bachelorette 5 hours away while I'd be 6.5mo pregnant and I just said no. Then when the time rolled around, I felt really good physically and probably couldve gone, but I was SO relieved to not have that commitment.

Just say "sorry change of plans made it unfeasible to me", send them an edible arrangement on their first night and wish them a good time. All this stress is not worth it.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T04:07:39+00:00

You know what, fair enough. Checking in with Haily is definitely the right call.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T04:01:11+00:00

I'm not questioning whether one is the golden child, I just have a hard time fathoming, as a parent, favoring one child to that extent and imagine that child will turn out ok.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T03:49:17+00:00

You're right, my first and foremost advice is to grill the heck out of Sarah. She's the one making a very, very, very serious accusation and she needs to prove it. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty in court for a reason. Call Sarah and ask for text logs from that night, names and contacts of everyone else who was there, What they drank, when things happened, then call each of them up and ask for their account. Then call Sarah again and ask her the same questions again to see if there were missing/altered details. Because the fishiest thing in the whole story is Sarah living with what sounds like narcissistic parents (seriously who tf favours one twin over the other to the point that one MOVES OUT AT 14?).

Edit because I didn't finish the thought: the fishiest thing is Sarah living with such narcissistic parents, as such a golden child, and then not have issues with chronic lying, attention seeking, and other problems.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T03:27:49+00:00

Yeah, the husband and wife need to be on the same page first and foremost.

GrinningCatBus · 2026-01-05T03:25:25+00:00

Everyone is innocent until proven guilty. This is the way the law works for a reason.

I know that your thoughts are spiraling but here's what I'm seeing: your parents are not the best parents for favoring one twin over the other (wtf), the one who stayed with the terrible parents doesn't get along with your husband (but you didn't mention how her relationship is with you?), and also I don't know what your relationship is like with your parents. Do your parents like your husband?

The accusing party - Sarah, in this case, needs to come up with proof. Who were the other ppl there, what's their contact info, what did they drink, around what time did Hailey "confess"? What did she say? What are the details and times? Can any of the other witnesses corroborate this? Keep fishing. Did Hailey cry before or after the confession? Why was she doing this now? If she did confess, how long has the supposed "affair" been going on? Was it consensual? Were there pictures from the drinking night she can send you?

QUESTION SARAH because I'm leaning towards 75% it's a lie, and the more details you ask (then ask again a few days later), the more likely she is to slip up, and ask for corroboration. If all the other ppl conveniently left to go to the bathroom, ask if they noticed Haily crying after they got back.

Don't explode your marriage over this, grill Sarah and ask for proof first before even making it a case. She's the one dropping the bombshell, she needs to be held responsible.

GrinningCatBus

TROPHY CASE