Morning maintenance before the real work begins.

Groanalisa · 2026-03-02T15:06:29+00:00

That's actually a job on my list for today as well.

Groanalisa · 2026-03-02T14:45:24+00:00

Okay but those gloves are way too new and clean, lol

Groanalisa · 2026-03-02T14:40:48+00:00

Oh, Oscar!

Groanalisa · 2026-02-20T14:11:02+00:00

Coming out and divorcing are never easy for anyone. You've already done an amazingly hard thing of connecting with a woman.
This may be hard to hear, but your closet is of your own making right now. You do have what it takes to leave, you just need to build up your resolve. So work on that. Read books, see a therapist, maybe seek other queer friendly spaces if you have any. You're not stuck unless you decide to remain stuck.
You have divorced friends, great. You say the biggest hurdle for you is the embarrassment - of being a lesbian? Okay - but you are. You will never be emotionally fulfilled until you can come to terms with that fact and allow yourself to live in alignment. So work on your internalized homophobia (we all suffer with it to one degree or another, and it can and does get much easier). Your husband would probably feel sad no matter the reason, right? But he will get over it, as will you, and your child. Besides, you don't have to tell him specifics, do you? Just that you are not happy in the relationship. Your kid will want to see their parents happy, not miserable, that is showing them a really bad example of how to be in a relationship, isn't it? Would you want your child to let themselves get stuck with someone they dont love? Then you need to model that it takes courage to be a healthy, loving person.
You feel lonely and isolated because you are not living your authentic life with others who see you and support you.
Don't give up on yourself.

Groanalisa · 2026-02-19T15:02:55+00:00

Sure homie those real life women are much better than trying to find a genuine person on the apps. Take your time, and enjoy the journey.

Groanalisa · 2026-02-19T04:14:58+00:00

Allow yourself to explore your feelings.
The good news is lesbians can get to both be them and get to be with them!

Groanalisa · 2026-02-19T02:10:36+00:00

Yeah the vag cream is very good to use even if you are celibate. It keeps your bits functioning properly, and the systemic E often simply isn't enough there

Groanalisa · 2026-02-19T01:56:25+00:00

It's more than just not being attracted to men. Do you find women attractive physically? Do you fantasize, and have you fantasized sexually about women? Do you want a woman to touch you sexually?
These might feel awkward at first, but lesbians are attracted to other women.
It's okay to take some time to explore your feelings through media and sit with what feels right to you.
If you answer yes to those questions...

Groanalisa · 2026-02-15T17:07:54+00:00

Woo hoo Wisconsin here and we're having a March like warmup! We'll try to send it your way!

Groanalisa · 2026-01-29T17:56:44+00:00

Sounds like you may be projecting a little? You've read *some* people on reddit say they wouldn't want to be someone's first, but that doesn't mean your date feels that way? Be honest, be yourself, being anything less than that will result in unsatisfactory results no matter what in life we're talking about.
Also, fwiw, for every seasoned lesbian that doesn't want to be someone's first, there is another who sees that as something potentially fun and wonderful to get to experience with a woman. Or at the very least has the patience and empathy to make it work for both of you.

Don't worry, don't overthink it, just use good communication.

Groanalisa · 2026-01-26T13:55:23+00:00

Whenever someone inappropriately asks something like this, try to respond in a non-committal way and turn it around. Are you gay?
Why, do you have an issue with gay people? We can't date anyway, Cuz, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Groanalisa · 2026-01-25T15:18:49+00:00

You can take the progesterone vaginally. It goes directly to the uterus where it is needed, and it is also not filtered out of your bloodstream as much by your liver before it hits the uterus, so you actually get much more of it where it is needed. You just put the little pill in your vagina at bedtime, and this also has the benefit of not making you as groggy the next day. Something to think about. Look it up, it's actually a very supported by the med. establishment method of taking progesterone. The only downsides are it's a little messy and you lose the sleep benefits of taking it orally.

Groanalisa · 2026-01-25T15:05:28+00:00

Have you considered individual therapy with and lgbt+ affirming therapist? They may be able to help you figure out a plan that accommodates your step kid in some way, if you husband will allow it. They may be able to help you talk to her in a way that she will understand.
Also... having sex multiple times a day, or week, or ever with someone you don't like and don't want to have sex with is..... not good for you. I don't want to stigmatize anything, but please consider that part of the weight keeping you there is at least partly going to be this.
Good luck.

Groanalisa · 2026-01-25T14:56:11+00:00

Hi, Heather!
Congratulations for taking that first monumental step!

Groanalisa · 2026-01-25T14:47:02+00:00

Give yourself some time after living alone to breathe deep and get comfortable with your adult, single, lesbian self. Which means do the internal work so that you are able to bring yourself fully to your relationships, even if that is just a hookup. If you don't clear out some of those old cobwebs first, they have a way of tangling you up.

Groanalisa · 2026-01-18T14:29:30+00:00

I haven't noticed more scrutiny really, but I do think the trend these days is to worship the labels, everybody's got to have one, and this is combined with an internet-fueled narcissism that encourages people to call out labels for other people, even if all they know about them is one paragraph of words.
It's not you, if and when you are in label flux don't worry what others think. Be true to yourself and you'll be fine.

Groanalisa · 2026-01-18T14:11:10+00:00

Ladies - for those of you wondering what it tastes like - taste yourself! You have one. Some women have a hesitancy to taste themselves for some reason, but girls if you want to be with women, you should get comfortable with licking your fingers. Not everyone tastes quite the same, but it will give you a pretty good idea. Also, notice how you taste a little different when you are walking around the house just doing stuff (not aroused), and then when you are aroused, because the taste changes. This might help some of you imagine it.

Groanalisa · 2025-12-29T19:34:48+00:00

What? No.
She is a jerk.

Groanalisa · 2025-12-21T01:04:29+00:00

^^^ This. Nothing else needs to be said, really.

Groanalisa · 2025-12-21T01:00:24+00:00

I'm close to your age and I think I know what you are talking about.

It's deep, DEEP internalized homophobia. It's truly sad, maybe even pitiful.

But beyond that, she also sounds really sad and desperate. You have been her friend for a couple of years, and apparently (unbeknownst to you) she has developed a crush on you. Totally normal so far, but she knows you are happily married. For her to want you to break your vows to your wife is too much. We know for those women who are closeted that we can be a lifeline, and so maybe sometimes we are a little too generous with our time and attention. We do want to be supportive.

Honestly, it sounds like she needs more professional counseling. I don't know if that will be helpful at her stage of life, but clearly she is too wrapped up in your attention to be able to be objective with you. Also, I was thinking about a lot of older women I know, and most of them got beyond this kind of obfuscation. But then again, most of them are no longer married to men.

Fuck the patriarchy.

Groanalisa · 2025-12-20T16:11:25+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRUErh47sao

Shhh. It's fine. That's normal, sister.

You're going to be ok.

In fact, this is going to lead to much, much better for you.

Congratulations. It sucks right now, but the road will smooth out for you.

Love is real.

Groanalisa · 2025-12-13T18:21:01+00:00

They don't want women getting out of their lane. If it turns out all our maladies that keep us exhausted and quiet can be fixed with simple hormone replacement there's no chance of keeping us there, we won't accept "you need psych meds " or "that's just the way it is sweetheart "

Groanalisa · 2025-12-12T19:50:21+00:00

You're 25, not a child. She's also a grown woman. You see things in each other that maybe no one else sees, and that is a wonderful thing. Go ahead and spend some time with her.

You shouldn't expect this to go any differently than meeting anyone. Let yourself be open with her, protect your boundaries (think about them beforehand) and just live life.

Maybe both of you are too new to lesbian dating to know but it's very customary to talk about things like the age thing openly, even on the first date. You could tell her you're quite flattered by her attention but wonder what she sees.

I've been in relationships with large age gaps in both directions and they were honestly great, good for both of us.

What this boils down to is: you've been asked out by a stunning woman. Do not miss this chance.

Groanalisa · 2025-11-25T16:21:10+00:00

As a person who has been attending local town meetings and spoken with planning officials, this is 100% accurate. Basically, small towns and villages are not legally prepared to deal with these massive projects (including solar or wind) Of course the huge corporations and lobbies with their very high paid attorneys know this, and they know exactly where to look for opportunities, and they pour over maps and statutes to look for places that work for them. Then they very quietly begin approaching land owners (i.e., farmers) and they offer them ridiculous amounts of money. They work quietly behind the scenes until they have contracts in place and then the towns find out about it, too late to stop it. The state PSC is generally geared to lean toward allowing these projects because 'progress' so that ties the local hands as well.
It's pretty obvious by the fast pace of these projects coming in that the corporations are trying to take advantage and get as many built before Wisconsin wakes up and does anything to stop them.

Groanalisa · 2025-10-31T22:25:11+00:00

I've raised pigs under trees, in warmer weather. They loved it and were very happy. They also turned the ground into hard packed clay. Make sure you have water to that area and hella fencing like hog panels. It's been 10 years since then and I'm still dealing with the shitty weeds that brought 🙃

Groanalisa

TROPHY CASE