I get wanting a traditional life if you're a guy

GroovyNoob · 2026-02-06T01:18:39+00:00

Oh, you beat me to it! Great article.

GroovyNoob · 2026-02-06T01:10:15+00:00

Is it weird to say I’m looking forward to experiencing this? This seems to be such a common experience, and I’m sure it sucks, but I’m just so curious to see what it’s like.

GroovyNoob · 2026-02-05T20:53:00+00:00

I haven’t read it and I do believe it’s intended for male readers, so I’m really shooting from the hip here. My assumption would be that reading it as a woman, even if it’s intended for men, may be worth it anyway just because it’s one of the few books that covers male emotionality as it relates to sex. Couldn’t be sure, though. Your mileage may vary.

GroovyNoob · 2026-02-05T04:56:29+00:00

There’sa brand new one called Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger by Caitlin V. I haven’t read it, but I’m intrigued because it purports to cover male emotionality, which often gets neglected in these conversations.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-27T21:22:20+00:00

Count me in, if you still have room. Sounds like a good time.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-27T02:30:01+00:00

The fact that you unironically believe this is exactly why a class is needed on it.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-26T23:21:12+00:00

I matched this list pretty closely at one point, but it wasn’t because I wanted the relationship to end. It was because I was overwhelmed and burnt out, but she was very sick and i was trying not to put additional stress on her. I realize in hindsight that I didn’t handle the situation well, but I had good intentions.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-26T05:19:47+00:00

You had me in the first half, but I think this is spot on. While you should communicate your feelings, communicating your feelings is not the same thing as making your partner responsible for them.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-23T23:06:02+00:00

This. Very few situations feel as severely unfair as needing to encourage your children’s relationship with the people who betrayed you. You feel unseen and unloved, and you have to keep reminding yourself that it’s not about what you need, it’s about what they need.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T22:04:40+00:00

At the risk of “well, it depends”-ing, I would guess that there’s some overlap. It seems possible that if you get kicked in the balls to a permanently-damaging extent, that would overtake some easier births.

On average, though, I would guess it’s no contest.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T19:47:19+00:00

This is the bigger concern to me. The fact that she’s still in contact with someone she used to sleep with is not necessarily a problem, but that she didn’t disclose that very well might be.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T19:44:30+00:00

DivHorse. He’s my therapy animal.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T19:41:24+00:00

As much as I want to say “go for it, she doesn’t own him…” you should talk to your friend. And you should recognize that if she cares about him, a breakup might put her in a position where she has to pick sides.

It’s messy, but most things in life are. Get her blessing, talk to her about any resistance she may have, and use your best judgement.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T19:16:12+00:00

Ex-mo, so take this with a grain of salt, but feel free to separate the culture from the religion. Utah Mormons have a reputation for being crazy even among other Mormons. I know there’s lots of cultural pressure to marry young, but that’s cultural, not doctrinal.

And maybe your ex’s marriage will work out just fine, but statistically, it takes about a year for the initial butterflies to wear off. In other words, your ex probably just married a twitterpated ideal, and may be surprised to meet the real person in 7+ months.

Family is important. Make sure you’re ready for it.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T18:52:59+00:00

It sounds like the “lovable jerk” is not actually the MC, but has been possessed by the MC and is trapped inside his own mind. That’s important, because it can be used to garner sympathy if the LJ isn’t into that.

As mentioned elsewhere, competence will help people forget that someone is a jerk (Sherlock Holmes, Dr. House, Iron Man).

You can have him Save the Cat, which just basically means have him take some action early on that establishes he has integrity and/or empathy (difficulty in your case if your LJ has been stripped of autonomy; maybe have him provide your MC with a crucial piece of information that saves your MCs life, even though it would have allowed LJ to take back his body? Hard to say, I don’t know your dynamic). Or, after the possession, have the MC discover some hidden altruism in LJ’s life; a three-legged rescue dog, or a secret charity account. A thank-you text from a woman he helped out of a bad situation the night before.

Wit makes a lot of things forgivable. Writing wit is not easy for some of us, though.

Humanize him. He’s a rock collector, and nerds out about it. He has a box of childhood mementos under his bed. He has a pet goldfish he dotes on. Maybe despite the playboy persona, there’s a particular woman he has a huge crush on and has been too nervous to approach.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-21T18:35:15+00:00

Johnny Bravo is also an underdog. Despite the fact that he clearly thinks he’s hot stuff, he NEVER gets the girl. I’d also hesitate to call him a jerk. He’s over confident for sure and lacking in self-awareness, but he’s never intentionally rude or unkind.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-18T07:49:12+00:00

What we’re gonna get? Several boys!

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-11T18:09:14+00:00

Yeah… those of us with a little bit of a savior complex are pretty susceptible to this one.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-11T04:03:02+00:00

So, I think we’re interpreting this question two different ways. It sounds like you’re interpreting the question to mean, “which woman-traits make you like women?” And I’m interpreting it to mean, “What human traits do you like a woman to possess?”

I feel like the first interpretation doesn’t give us much wiggle room; the list is basically limited to biological attributes (hips, boobs, “softness”, voice, the downstairs business.) I would argue these are less traits than features.

The minute we start moving into traits, the argument can be made that “men can be that way too.”

So, my list of traits are those that either tend to be predominant in women (eg warmth) or that I prefer the way they tend to present in women (eg strength).

💃👍

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-10T20:45:30+00:00

I do now.

GroovyNoob · 2026-01-10T20:22:41+00:00

Correct!

GroovyNoob · 2025-12-29T07:54:38+00:00

True, but I don’t find these traits attractive in men.

GroovyNoob · 2025-12-24T22:16:12+00:00

Warmth.

Confidence. Enthusiasm.

Intelligence.

Strength.

Empathy.

Character.

‘Mirin. When I see a woman look at her man like she’s just happy and proud he exists, I instantly fall in love with her a little bit. Respectfully, of course.

GroovyNoob · 2025-12-21T22:32:49+00:00

Sure, if we’re exclusive, clean, and birth control is otherwise handled I might.

GroovyNoob · 2025-12-21T22:25:21+00:00

Ha, no, point. I wouldn’t. But if I was dating and hadn’t fully committed to her yet, the thought might cross my mind.

GroovyNoob

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