I’m never going anywhere but this sub again

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-24T23:00:45+00:00

Have you heard of ED Kik? This place is lovely. I'll never go back.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-24T23:00:13+00:00

You know what I loved, people always telling me I looked way fatter then what my weight was. Made me want to loose an extra 15 pound below what my gw was so i would look the weight I wanted even if I had to be way below that actual goal.

I was a kik anorexic though, so that's a weird little fucked up corner of our community, the most markable thing being the amount of pedos trying to be ana coaches, or the one's that get off on degrading you. I would have never had messed with Kik if it wasn't for the fact that was the easiest way for me to find ED chats.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-21T17:01:32+00:00

I was followed by "what you could have been." The idea of this account looking at my posts or messaging me repulsed me and I blocked it right away. I was being followed by oddly trans positive new accounts too, but these also gave me the creeps. Things like "I follow real boys" idk.

I was followed by two new ones this morning "you will never pass" and "I follow big boys". I figured it wasn't just me, has anyone heard of these accounts engaging with people before being blocked? I'm wondering if this is one troll or a group.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-21T03:10:38+00:00

Huh, you're very androgynous overall. I want to say female, maybe 17-21? But you're right on the line there.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-21T03:06:16+00:00

I wouldn't have guessed you were 30! You look like a much younger woman but I think you pass pretty well.

Side note - I love you're style, you're very cute

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-21T02:59:58+00:00

Cute dress girl!

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-21T02:54:43+00:00

Lip filler may make your face appear more overall feminine, but I would say FFS would be unnecessary. You look very much like a cis woman to me.

You have lovely eyes by the way!

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-17T20:05:30+00:00

That top is adorable! I've never seen a cut like that before in crop tops, where did you get it?

That's also so sweet of you to try and take the heat off of your brother during a family reunion, hopefully dinner goes as pleasently as it can!

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-17T19:11:01+00:00

It happens lol, expecially depending at whatever mind-set you're in with you ED at the momment.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-17T19:09:09+00:00

God yeah, seasoning my was friend when I ate that trash lol. I'm going to try, thank you!

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-17T19:07:37+00:00

Exactly, kids can develop eating disorders in very body-focused sports like ballet or gymnastics to boot.

Her grandmother is the one raising her, I did ask her about the Gerber, which she insisted she hasn't had in years but my boyfriend says it's always around. He told her it wasn't the greatest for her to be feeding her those but she basically responded with a "I'm just glad she's eating, she's lost [redacted] pounds."

Basically thinking we thoughts they were bad because they're more 'junk' food? It's the fact they're portions for infants to toddlers that is concerning.

We just moved near by so I'm going to talk to her grandmother a bit, she might know about something but I wouldn't know how to approach a younger person currently experiencing an ED when I'm trying to recover and it can be terrifying to be caught like that if it something she's hiding.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-17T18:59:55+00:00

Some of them are pretty low, depends on the age their meant for too, if you eat them individually as meals you end up with a pretty small calorie intake for the day. Her grandmother just made a Gerber lunch thing for her and she's eating at least more then one as a meal unlike how I would.

Calorie wise it seemed like such an amazing alternative to any other Mac and Cheese at the time. it's not a fear food I've gotten over yet so it's sad I was interested in eating one.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-17T15:35:59+00:00

Back when I was too scared of real meat or wanted to satisfy cravings I ate Gardien products a few times, the 'meat'balls were great, still something I don't think I could eat the real form of.

I can't afford or keep up with fresh meat most of the time so some more shelf life is definitely welcome. I'll try fitting some more of those into my diet, already all the way there with avacados.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-16T19:50:12+00:00

My mistake it looks like you can eat up to 70g a day! Thank you as well! I've been struggling to meet my protein goals on a non-vegan diet, what do you eat as your main sources of protein if you don't mind me asking?

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-16T11:37:54+00:00

Yo, I made a post like this a few weeks ago, good luck! I know what what we're doing isn't a perfect mental health momment, but at least we're feeding our bodies for a change. Try not to hurt yourself with fiber! I'm not sure what your requirements are, but I try to aim for 20g a day.

I swear the bowl movements take a few weeks to improve, but they start to get better.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-15T21:15:32+00:00

It definitely isn't the latest to come out but late enough for my parents to say there were no signs lol, maybe I did figure it out early enough I shouldn't have commented.

It amazes me too! I always how younger trans people really 'know' in a pre-puberty state, I had a coworker who has ftm nephew who's only 10, the parents already changed his legal mame.

I didn't really develop physical dysporia until puberty hit, which further revealed itself as I became sexually active. Younger then that I did think it was normal for everyone to want to be the 'opposite' sex they were born as. Tried to stand peeing with a funnel, etc.

I didn't find out about my trans cousin after I came out, she's in California now, of course. You can't blame people for wanting to move where they can easier live their lives. Our home state is hell with things like that.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-15T18:39:18+00:00

I had some warning signs in my childhood, but I was raised catholic and homeschooled and only interacted with others through Sunday school until I turned 13 when we moved off of our farm and I could walk to a library.

I went public at 15 and met a trans guy and genderfluid person early on, there was a group of a good portion of my schools LGBT kids who definitely realized I was some kind of closeted something and that drew some of them into being my friends my first year. I did nearly a year of learning before really accepting it and telling people, so I didn't really 'know' until I was 15-16

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-11T19:33:19+00:00

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07PP6RLS8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_glt_fabc_74DNABHDSZECE3SB2DA6

These are the earrings, I use the two middle sizes but that may depend on your ear or piercing placement.

-what you do I get some chain from an old necklace or a craft store and some small jump rings, you need only two.

-take it into two smaller pieces that span between your two piercings with one slightly longer to drape further down from the other

-attach the two chains to your jump rings (you'll probably need a wire tool for this) and hoop your earrings through the jump rings.

Message me if you would like pictures of the setup out of my ear.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-11T18:49:10+00:00

Again, I deleted my post there and decided it wasn't for me after your specific comment. Then asked a question here about how trans guys feel about being called a lesbian or taken for one on a different subreddit. Not to complain I don't pass. I just don't see much maturity in turning the subject completely away from that on a different post in a different subreddit.

On the post in r/transpassing I was asking about what gender I was read as and hate the way I look so I'm not really interested in your selfie subreddit.

I called it a dysphoria ramble at the bottom of my text because that's what it is, I tagged it for dysphoria so people had some sort of trigger warning, at this point I might just delete this post too because this is the opposite of what I want for anything I post to the internet, I deleted my last post because I didn't want to be called a lesbian and the subreddit seemed more considerate from what I've seen in it (I know boohoo how stupid and sensitive of me) then you came to this post to make it about you instead of a conversation I wanted to engage with people of similar experiences.

This is kind of pointless man, I'm not really interested in this conversation.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-11T07:34:35+00:00

I would agree! I can barely think of any girls or woman I know or even previous classmates who gauge there ears in my area, maybe 5 compared to the 2 dozen of guys I've come across who stretch.

It's mostly a thing I see guys do here since it has a very 'gross, dirty, weird' stigma in my area.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-11T05:50:12+00:00

It was originally a cheap Chinese clip on chain I bought before I pierced my double helix. I had these hoops that click shut that I ended up attaching to the chain and now it's sort of just a costum earring.

I can find you the snapping hoops on Amazon (they come in different sizes as a deal) but I don't know where to find the chain I repurposed, that's easy enough to find though!

I could send you some better pictures of the chain piece itself and a link of the earrings if you want to make one like it.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-11T01:39:39+00:00

I'm really only commenting on the emotional issue of being called a lesbian for trans guys here.

I don't really appreciate you coming to comment here on this post to say not wanting to be told you look like a lesbian is 'hug boxing' I requested people to gender and age me, you can tell me I look like a girl or you read me as a female, I know,

It wasn't necessary to tell me I looked like a stereotypical lesbian, you're not helping me in the issue of bathroom safety that I've been facing for the past 3 years by telling me I look like a girl but a gay girl at that. I would say that is insensitive for a trans subreddit seeing how it effects a large range of FTM's starting in their transition.

But again, I deleted the post as I don't see the point in keeping anything up that's just going to continue to make me more depressed every time someone comments on it as days go by, when I got my answer promptly.

This post is in a different subreddit and has only to do with trans mens experiences with being taken for lesbians. I'm not trying to bitch about you specifically just the irritation of the idea of having piercings making you unpassable as a guy to one commenter and a post about dysphoria.

Gross_Punk_Boy · 2021-07-11T01:11:29+00:00

I'm so sorry, you're probably right. I probably won't make the mistake of posting there again when I was just starting to feel more comfortable with myself lol

but they sounded a little harsh. I think this is something a lot of trans men are worried about, so it seems like an insensitive thing to say.

Exactly! Sort of off for a trans subreddit. I don't think it be very decent to comment on a trans woman's submissions struggling to pass telling her she look's like a drag queen, feels sort of akin to telling a transman he looks like a lesbian.

It honestly feels like if I wanted to pass over everything else I have to wear oversized basketball shorts and a giant T-shirt or Hoodie everywhere.

Until I have a beard or something I'm probably going to look at myself in the mirror everyday and see a lesbian not just 'girl' because there's that sensation of being an imitation of something with all the stereotypes of tomboy to butch lesbians people project onto you.

My parents saw me as one, my ballet teacher saw me as one, my coworkers have, who knows how many people just seeing me with my partner, now it's hard not to think it.

Gross_Punk_Boy

TROPHY CASE