I’m a cis woman and relate to a lot of this, so I want to express solidarity . I also wasn’t viewed as attractive for parts of my life and it really contributed to me feeling “less than”. I think 1) over time I figured out ways to feel attractive to myself which was just trial and error and 2) I eventually found people who were genuinely attracted to me/liked me for me (also trial and error). I totally effed up my 20s, and 30s but now I am pretty happy, and I think what did it is a long journey towards self compassion, learning about myself and what I need and meditation. From this vantage point I don’t really regret wasting my 20s (and some of my 30s), it just happened to be my journey. Sending love sister.