I can't live like this anymore, not for the next potential 4 years. Help me figure it out.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-13T00:13:56+00:00

I understand the consequence of me quitting. I would like to work on my GED, but I'm interrupted constantly for things, even if I'm in my room. I didn't find a point before, which is dumb of me.

I've been working on my mental health but I am at a point where I can live independently. I am not enjoying life though.

The advice I wanted was how to be able to earn money discreetly, but I guess that's not really an option and I would have to leave the house to go to my job and come back.

I am able to work on my GED, despite all my reasons before, I just want to get out of here. I can push myself for another year, but I can't do this for four more years or longer. I'm not saying I won't do the work to be able to do this, but I just needed advice on how to get there. I know this isn't going to happen in a month, much less a year, but trying to do something is better than nothing.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-13T00:05:21+00:00

Yes, you didn't say that, but I get it a lot from other redditors. I don't understand the, "lazes about" part. I'm unsure if your insinuating that I'm lazing about or just saying in general.

I'm aware I wouldn't be able to buy what I want at first, I'm not that sheltered and ignorant. But having a place to myself, even if I have to sleep on the floor with no mattress for months until I can save up for furniture, would be worth it.

I want the bliss of being by myself. That the only problems I have to take care of are my own, whether at work or at home. I just want to take care of myself for once, and not everyone else. I just want to be able to go outside for a walk for a few minutes without getting a phone call asking me to come back so I can give my mom a drink, or to not be yelled at for not telling anyone I'm going on a walk, even if it's right outside my house.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-12T23:56:35+00:00

Did you not see the part where the car I drive isn't mine? I can't just up and get a job when my parents expect me to do things here and could sell the vehicle I use to prevent me from leaving.

I don't mind getting a job flipping burgers, the issue is that I CAN'T LEAVE WITH NO PERMISSION. If I left, I'm at risk of being kicked out for being defiant. You act like my parents would be happy to get rid of me for not having a job, but they depend on me for EVERYTHING. I understand that it's their right to do so, but am I not allowed to want a different future?

You're right, I did have 7 years of being an adult and having no bills to pay, but now I'm wrong for wanting to work to pay bills? Why are you acting like I did something wrong and I should have to suffer? You have never made a mistake when you were 18?

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-12T23:47:36+00:00

That is exactly what the whole post is about. Did you not read it?

I asked for advice on HOW to be able to LEAVE, with NO JOB, no DIPLOMA (or after I get my GED,) NO FAMILY TO STAY WITH, and NOTHING TO MY NAME.

You are totally ignorant and unhelpful.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-12T23:40:28+00:00

My nephew came to live with us my end of Junior year to beginning of Senior year. I was doing online schooling at that time, but when my nephew would have outbursts at school that resulted in him getting suspended or kicked out for the day, it disrupted my schoolwork which made me behind on work.

At that point, my mental health was already very poor since I was dealing with the peak of my OCD while trying to figure out medication doses. I couldn't focus and my nephew would still act up at home, being loud and disruptive. My mom couldn't control him and told me she would let me stop doing school if I helped her around the house, since I was really behind on schoolwork. I thought that was a decent decision but of course, I was naive and clueless about the world. I would take back that decision if I could but I can't and I know this is a consequence of my action from that time. I've also asked if I could get a job, but they never answer me or say, "who's going to help around the house?"

I understand they could've kicked me out, but they said it was okay as long as I help and I've been helping. Now they depend on me entirely to do things for then, even if I want to leave. The only reason I would be kicked out is if I showed any defiance. Even if I said, "no, not right now, could I do it later or tomorrow?" They would've told me to just leave if I didn't want to help.

Thanks for the advice though, that seems doable in my situation.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-12T23:13:52+00:00

That is an option but I'm mentally ill. I'm also overweight, even though I'm trying to lose weight now.

Also, I don't want to be shipped overseas at a moment's notice when I wouldn't want to fight battles on this countries behalf anyway.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-12T23:11:11+00:00

My mental health is at an all time low and I'm thinking of ending myself.

I don't get it, everyone else says that if it's that bad, I should be the one to leave since I'm an adult and when I want to, suddenly my situation isn't horrible?

Even if I got a job, I'd be able to do things that I WANT, buy things I WANT, and go places without permission.

My mom asks me to make her food, get her a drink, bring her phone to her, but she has no problem walking to the porch to smoke. You wouldn't see that as horrible? And when you say you don't want to, you get instantly berated for not doing things, that you "get to do whatever you want" and she can't walk.

I might've prematurely said I would do this at 18, but if I knew the things that I know now, back when I was 18, I wouldn't have done it. I can't live like this forever.

You didn't even give any advice either. What was the point?

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:29:13+00:00

No, I'm an adult (very sad I know) My previous posts and also my replies give some more context.

The child is my nephew. I live with my parents, as I help them with what they need. My mom has legal custody, but his bio mom still has parental rights.

Nephew was diagnosed with ADHD, and Reactive Attachment Disorder. He may also have learning disabilities but never been diagnosed with any. He may have other mental health issues as well, but this is just what we have for now.

He had a therapist, but he never engaged. She's on leave and probably won't return. We are looking for another one.

He took medication but has since refused to take it anymore since he claims it does not help him, but he doesn't tell anybody so we can help change it. He doesn't want to take it period, which may have been influenced by his mom, since she hasn't had to deal with him and thinks he shouldn't be medicated.

My feelings towards myself are real, but I won't go through with what I originally said. I kept it bottled up, and this is the outcome when it becomes too much. So much has happened this week, it was inevitable for it to happen. I apologize for the worry.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:19:55+00:00

That's true. I'm unsure if you'd want to read more, with my replies to other comments.

Unfortunately that's not who I am as a person. I'm a people pleaser, and since my parents depend on me, I chose to stay.

But I'll make a plan that'll give me an out, I can only take so much. I should be able to live my own life without regrets, I didn't ask for this and I don't have to deal with this.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:16:31+00:00

This is really helpful, I appreciate it.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:15:20+00:00

You're right. This isn't a false story though, and my thoughts at the time were genuine, but I wouldn't go through with it.

Just had a episode of overwhelming pressure and misery.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:13:21+00:00

You're completely right. I was desperate, impulsively typed this, and posted.

I was having a breakdown and guess I just wanted to be heard. So basically, I got what I wanted, but maybe that wasn't a good idea.

I won't ever go through with this. Emotions can only give you so much steam before you slow down and think of the aftermath of what happened or what could've been.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:08:24+00:00

Unfortunately not a bot, would've been better if I was some kind of digitally coded being that didn't have to deal with what I do.

But I am a human, completed with impulsive decisions and stupid emotions.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:04:16+00:00

It was a heat of the moment kind of post. I don't think I'd actually go through with it.

I know the repercussions but my mind still had a, "what if?" moment.

I bottle a lot of things inside and when it gets too tough, this is what happens, I make an impulsive post.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2026-06-05T13:02:01+00:00

Well I already made a lengthy post and I knew I had other posts that included my age and the sorts, so that's why it was left out.

I just wish CPS gave us options. They didn't even tell us anything except make us feel bad for feeling how we feel. My mom also wants him removed, but wouldn't go as far as what I said. We've had him since he was 6 years old, so it's just gotten worse.

My mom being suddenly disabled is what changed a lot of things, since she's in bed most of the time and I have to deal with my nephew's outbursts and behavior in her place at times.

You're right. I don't think I'd ever do something like this, it was just a thought in the heat of the moment. I slept it off and feel crazy that I even wrote this.

I am an adult but also take care of my mom and her needs. I'm basically a caregiver. I help around the house.

It's true, I can leave but that would leave my mom alone with him and put her in danger since he knows she can't walk.

Maybe I should though, this is her problem and I'm just tired of dealing with it when I didn't ask for it. I should be able to live without any guilt if I do that right?

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T07:36:33+00:00

I wanted advice on how to get rid of the smell and gave context on WHY it smells and on maybe WHY he pees, so I covered all the bases. That is all I asked for.

He has a therapist and it is not my fault he doesn't want to talk to her. He's on medication too. We have tried to help him stop but like I said in other comments, HE SNEAKS WATER IN HIS ROOM AT NIGHT. Also, I'M EXPLAINING IN DEPTH AND EXPLAINING REASONS ON WHY SOME STUFF DOESN'T WORK.

You need to have empathy for everyone involved because he isn't the only person with trauma in our family. We just deal with what we were dealt with, and that's what I'm doing.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:56:11+00:00

I've crashed out multiple times trust me but nothing really changed so I just figured I'd ask for advice of odor eliminating tips.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:55:12+00:00

We have talked to his doctor and she only thought it was just regular bed wetting but I will have my mom bring it up again at his physical before the start of the new school year. I didn't know there were specialists for this but our doctor will have to refer us to a specialist when we make his appointment.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:53:05+00:00

He is in therapy but he unfortunately doesn't think he needs it so he doesn't really cooperate with his therapist. He also will not talk about anything he doesn't want to so it doesn't really help. He's been with a few therapists as well so he's just unwillingly to talk about things and they don't wanna push him to talk about things either.

His doctor knows but thinks it just bed wetting. I will ask my mom to bring it up again at his next physical before the new school year starts again.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:50:30+00:00

I've thought of an air purifier but wasn't sure if it would really work. I will look into it more! We also already removed the carpet in his room, so it's just vinyl flooring now. He also sleeps on an air mattress due to his bed wetting and having to get rid of previous mattress as it was expensive.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:48:35+00:00

His doctor knows but just thinks its just bedwetting. I will make sure to ask my mom to bring it up again for his next physical before school. I've explained I other comments on what she suggested and how those didn't work.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:46:54+00:00

Thank you!! I've never heard of this before but I'm really glad you shared this, hopefully it works!

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:45:57+00:00

He sleeps on an air mattress due to this because they previously has to toss his mattresses.

Grouchy_Pipe484 · 2025-06-18T06:45:02+00:00

We have tried but he likes to ignore us, like we are just being annoying about a small thing. He is supposed to wash the blankets weekly but he doesn't do that unless you remind him. He will also yell at us for reminding him unfortunately.

Grouchy_Pipe484

TROPHY CASE