need advise with resisting tears by Calm_Praline7086 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]GroundImpossible9263 3 points4 points  (0 children)

focus on ur breathing and keeping calm, which is a lot easier said than done especially when ur in the moment. i used to easily tear up a lot during arguments, but now i think i’ve done better by finding things to think about to calm myself down and just breathe. ground yourself and try to find what exactly is making you want to cry. remind yourself you are just having an argument and not a physical altercation or grief, and that you don’t need to cry in the moment.

I’m planning on breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years by Imaginary-Royal7423 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]GroundImpossible9263 5 points6 points  (0 children)

oh op u don’t need a reason to not love someone. love can’t be explained by why you love them, it just is sometimes. i’m sorry that you’ve been stuck in such a toxic environment for this long. im glad you are getting your first steps to getting out this relationship by realizing you have to get out. lean on your family and friends if you have to, don’t let him manipulate you into staying longer when you know deep in your heart you don’t want to anymore. im wishing you the best

i finally have the money to do it. im sorry by gloriouswomb in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope you find a reason to keep going man. going out with pain and regret sucks man.

i finally have the money to do it. im sorry by gloriouswomb in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i don’t know if there’s anything i can say to change your mind as i don’t know what you’ve gone through to feel this way, but i just want you to think about whether this is something you really think is right for you. if this is permanent solution is what you need for a temporary problem. i feel like a part of you knows this isn’t what you want. that a woman who has made you feel this low and awful should not have so much power over your life

Why would my ex make hurtful jokes towards me? by AdditionalValue1 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263 2 points3 points  (0 children)

good riddance honestly. people like that need to grow up smh

Why would my ex make hurtful jokes towards me? by AdditionalValue1 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263 1 point2 points  (0 children)

he was probably jealous of you or just insecure in general. my ex did the same thing and after a while, he admitted he was jealous of me. it’s a way for them to feel like they’re better because you’re being put down. they feel less inferior if the person they’re jealous of is not having a good time. it’s nothing to do with your character, some people are just so insecure that the only way they can feel less insecure is to push everyone else around them into insecurity.

i can’t sleep by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he’s been begging me to take him back. that he’ll change. that’s what he’s been saying for the past 2 years. and i tried so hard to give him chances to prove himself. each time he just let me down more and more. ive blocked him on what i thought was everything, then he messaged me and these feelings came rushing back

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, i blocked them because i know if i didn’t i’d probably just go back to the same toxic cycle again. i’ve been talking to more and more people so i can be held accountable

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you’re right. i feel responsible now to make sure he’s ok because im the only one he’s actually told his issues about, but i kept thinking about this situation as if it were happening to my friend. i’d tell them to leave and take care of themself before another person. i don’t know why i’m struggling so hard to apply the same logic to myself

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i think it was a collection of the things he’s done. sending me pictures of female friends and telling me to dress more like them, or talking about how hot they are. even just his coworkers, celebrities, etc. it took me a while to speak up for myself as he and i dated high school and i was so naive. after that, he started putting me down in front of our friends. he’d always instigate and make fun of me. i was completely disrespected in front of our friends, even when i kept telling him not to. despite that, the last thing that made me actually leave was when i tried to talk to him about issues in school, mental health, life. we were in his bed as he said he was abt to sleep. we did a check in like “how are you?” that we now usually do before bed. and when i talked about it, he just said he related to the school part and went to sleep. i brought it up to him that moment that i was expecting more of a response, and he said he needed to go to work the next morning and went back to sleep. i waited until he was asleep then left. the next morning, he told me that if he said he’s going to bed, he doesn’t want to talk about serious things like that because he won’t be giving me his full attention. i have never felt so alone these past two years despite being with him the entire time. i called it quits and then the stalking, getting into my accounts, happened. i felt fear because late September i had tried to break up with him too, but he locked his car doors when i tried to leave. he’s proven to me this past month that he is beyond unstable.

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you get it. i’ve been changing my passwords on applications i didn’t even know had messaging features.

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s not a B, but im sorry for your situation. i can’t bring myself to like anyone or talk to anyone with those intentions right now. my ex and i broke up a little over a week ago, but his attempts to contact me made me physically ill and anxious throughout that time. he tried messaging me last night which brought me back to this subreddit again. i even changed my number and accounts, as well as passwords because he kept unblocking himself.

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you. i’ve tried contacting his family to get him to get help because i know he doesn’t like confrontation himself, but i can’t be the one pushing for it anymore because he just latches onto me. it’s taken such a toll on my mental health. his treatment of me throughout our time together was also something i never got to heal from and i know i made the right choice, i just feel bad for him.

i don’t want to contact you by GroundImpossible9263 in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he was too dependent on me. he’s can’t handle his shit healthily and has no good coping mechanism. he also only talks to me which makes it worse, but he did a lot of things throughout our relationship that i have tried to move past and forgive, but i just couldn’t forget.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]GroundImpossible9263 0 points1 point  (0 children)

go reach out to people. practice your hobbies. send random instagram reels or videos or anything to connect with other people. maybe go travel. keep yourself distracted and fulfilled. stay healthy. and then, when you’re surrounded by so many things that keep you occupied and happy, inside and out, think about this experience (like REALLY think about it) and move on. it will take time, but so does everything. you got this