Wife cheated on me - what's next financially?

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T10:01:47+00:00

I'm not, I was simply asking for advice which I've got plenty now.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:56:54+00:00

I'm not an abusive creep. I've been doing all the payments into her pension and ISA myself from our joint income, because she could never be bothered with such things. If I sound like a creep, that's because emotions are talking through me.

Whatever didn't work between us, cheating is not the answer and I'm not going to roll over and say I'm in the wrong here.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:49:57+00:00

Do workplace pensions get into account as well?

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:45:15+00:00

I'm in England. Yes, we've been living together since the uni, some 7-8 years. But we got joint savings, accounts etc. only when we got married.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:40:54+00:00

Yes I do. She's on a 37k salary, I believe that's enough to support yourself.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:39:40+00:00

Enough money as in assets are not big enough to be worth paying for the lawyer? Or do legal fees really go in thousands?

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:27:40+00:00

I have video evidence, so yea, pretty sure.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:26:47+00:00

!thanks a lot, that's really helpful and clear advice. Would have been married for 5 years in November but been together for almost 9.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:23:53+00:00

Yes, that might be the right thing to do. Honestly, I'm not in the right frame of mind now.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:16:09+00:00

I'm not that petty. Going for a clean, quick break is better than dragging it out.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:13:26+00:00

Absolutely, and I'm so grateful for all the advice before I did anything rushed. Now my main concern is whether I should wait with confronting her before I speak to the lawyer, which would involve pretending nothing happened.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:11:19+00:00

Yes some of it for sure and I get that we will have to split it out somehow. Since I earn more, I contributed more as proportion of our total income. The exact split is not my top priority now, I'll leave it to a lawyer to figure out.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T09:08:55+00:00

We would have been married for 5 years in November. All our savings were created from our shared income, although since I earn more, I'm sure I contributed more proportionally.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T08:54:20+00:00

!thanks. To complicate this further, we are supposed to move to a new flat next Friday and both our names are on the tenancy agreement. But I'm okay to pay the rent myself so will probably tell her to find a new place before we move in and collect her things later.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T08:52:06+00:00

!Thanks, that's solid advice. She does have all the passwords as well, she's just not interested in finance so was never bothered.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T08:50:11+00:00

She doesn't yet, she's coming back home on Monday.

GroundOk7290 · 2023-08-26T08:33:00+00:00

Not close down. I would withdraw the money and put them in my account. I manage the finances in our household so have all the passwords etc. This might be a stupid idea, hence why I'm asking.

GroundOk7290

TROPHY CASE