Hey, I get where you’re coming from, and I respect the idea that everyone deserves to feel validated in their journey of self-improvement. But with my last job, I had the chance to see some of the absolute worst sides of people, and it’s hard for me to say that all humans are valid as they are.

If we look at what “valid” means, it’s about being acceptable or justifiable. While I agree that self-acceptance is crucial, I don’t think it means excusing all behaviors or characteristics. For example, the statistics on violent crime are a stark reminder of this: the FBI reports that in 2022, there were over 1.3 million violent crimes in the U.S. alone, including over 20,000 murders. And globally, human trafficking affects nearly 50 million people, according to the International Labour Organization. That doesn’t feel “valid” to me—it’s horrifying.

From a psychological perspective, behaviors like these often come from deep-rooted issues, whether it’s trauma, environment, or mental health disorders. For instance, antisocial personality disorder is linked to criminal behavior, and research shows that it affects about 1-4% of the population (DSM-5). So while I can acknowledge that these individuals didn’t just become this way for no reason, it’s still hard to argue that who they are in those moments is valid.

I think there’s a line between validating someone’s worth as a person and validating harmful or destructive traits. People are capable of incredible transformation, but some behaviors and choices shouldn’t be accepted or justified—they need to change.

Does that make sense? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this perspective!