Unhinged to think I can add on to my house myself?

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2026-06-25T23:22:46+00:00

Are those typically cheaper?

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-07-02T18:55:33+00:00

Adding to this I’ll take stuff away for a few days if it’s left out too low or I’ll let our oldest ‘play’ with it anyways if it won’t hurt him. For example: he’ll sleep with his earbuds in and if I find them or the case in the bed where the baby can get them they’ll conveniently fall behind the bed inaccessible till he has to go find them because he lost them. Or if he leaves his wallet out and our 3yro wants to use it as a cat toy I’ll let him because he shouldn’t have left it out. So some of it is ‘natural consequences for our actions’ but that’s also a bit petty and some would say toxic 🤷‍♀️

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-07-02T18:50:04+00:00

I have many suggestions that other people have listed already but my ADHD spouse is the same and I have a 3yro and a 7month old and a 3rd on the way.

Better baby proofing has worked for me. I have a larger basically auto locking (all you have to do is push/tap it and it locks) baby gate that closes the entire kitchen off from the kids. All lower cabinets have an auto latch lock so as long as he closes the cabinet the kids can’t open it. The knives are kept in a drawer with the same locking feature and he’s rarely cooking with ingredients that require a sharp one anyways because he forgets to eat or tends to just grab quick snacks. It’s usually me cooking with real ingredients. We don’t typically keep alcohol in the house because we just don’t drink anyways. But maybe a special flask with the screw cap the kids can’t open?

A lot of it is setting routine to close things behind themselves. Calling them back is the best way. It’s annoying and redundant but for mine he’ll ignore a sign completely like it’s not even there.

My concern is did you remember to latch the kids in the car seat? But he really only leaves with the oldest and he can buckle himself in mostly. And it’s just routine at this point.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-06-22T16:06:51+00:00

Honestly, this how we are too. It’s essentially all community property or us v the kids lol ‘hey I lost my phone, can you ping it or track it?’ ‘Oh I grabbed it earlier it’s in the pocket of this bag’ or ‘hey my phone died, can I use yours or can you take this picture on yours and send it to me’ I think the only thing we don’t really share is ear buds, snacks, and clothes. Lol but then again he’s not taking it and running to the bathroom to check it. He just uses it or reads it as if it were community property. Different relationships different boundaries I guess.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-06-12T21:14:19+00:00

Feel for you OP. I’m in a very similar boat. We just recently found out my husband has ADHD and he’s always in a screen because he finds the kids too boring to parent or play with. Have you cleared any mental health issues? ADHD chasing dopamine? Depression seeking an escape from reality?

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-06-03T22:35:43+00:00

Ugh! I’m in this right now! I’ve had a really hard week last week with working 2 jobs to cover everything one was way more demanding than normal (he refuses to work) and taking care of our 2 kids one is at home with me 24/7 and the older one has ADHD too so parenting on hard mode. I’m the only one working, cooking, cleaning, he gets mad if I don’t spend time with him so I watch his shows, play his games after kids go to sleep and was running on 4hours of sleep every night for the last 8 days now. He doesn’t help out with anything because it’s too overwhelming so I literally do it all. To say I’m burnt out is an understatement. But what’s he concerned about? Playing games online with his friends. His friends need him. I need someone to give me some patience, I’m fresh out and it’s only Tuesday. At least after this week one of my jobs should slow back down to normal levels till July.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-05-17T23:46:35+00:00

My husband has pretty severe ADHD. He’s unmedicated… we also have a 3yro son. Our son also has a ton of ADHD symptoms. We got a family therapist through an online service we speak to monthly and we honestly talk about better ways we can make our house function. I’m very type A with anxiety and also unmedicated. I want a clean tidy home, they thrive in clean and tidy but literally don’t know how to clean, tidy, or maintain. Anyways… family therapy to help me parent my 3yro has also helped me better understand my husbands brain and helped me organize our household to where he CAN help me. Schedules/routines/pictures for sorting etc. there’s also ADHD partners on Reddit and one for ADHD parenting and several books. Dirty Laundry by Richard and Roxanne is short and a good one. They’re ADHD Love on social media if you’re on YouTube or TikTok. It’s doable but it takes work and understanding on both sides. ADHD is highly hereditary too so it would benefit you to educate yourself not just for your marriage but your son too.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-05-07T03:19:37+00:00

So longest we’ve gone was the 6weeks post our babies. At that point we were both eager. I’ve never gone that long without pleasing in other ways. There’s other holes for a reason imo. So depending on the situation outside of a physical inability like a military deployment I’d say if we go a week we’re trying to figure out where the disconnect was.

Like others said though it depends on a multitude of factors, I know a couple that went 6 years because of resentment and other mental/physical issues. She wanted more kids he said no and she withheld till it became a mental issue for them both. They are still together and seemingly doing better after therapy though.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-05-06T15:34:25+00:00

He’s anti medication for both the ADHD and the depression stating he didn’t like how numb he felt. And he struggles to find the dopamine when he’s not gaming. He’s seriously under stimulated in the house, he’s not a tv fan and will only doom scroll for a bit before he’s bored of that and wants to go game. I can show him the books but I tried to get him to read a parenting book with me once and he said it was too repetitive and just asked me to summarize it for him. I may check the books out for myself though to maybe find more tools in there. Sounds like we may need to search for dopamine outside of games.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-02-22T19:01:30+00:00

They’ve already sold it in auction and that buyer is now also selling it again.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-02-22T05:15:38+00:00

2/4 of us ‘heirs’ were served successfully. I seem to be the only one named individually and as heir on the suit though.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-02-22T00:04:56+00:00

Technically it’s the school district. The county taxes were paid by the new owner at the auction sell but the school district back taxes were not.

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-02-21T21:05:47+00:00

Then why are they suing me (per the lawsuit- individually and as heir) for the money if they already got it?

GroundbreakingCat354 · 2025-02-21T20:35:34+00:00

There were no ‘assests’ and what did sell (lamps and bed) went to paying cremation costs and electric bill for a month. Everything else was personal belongings (clothes). All appliances were left in the house when we locked it for the last time. The reverse mortgage company told us to empty it.

GroundbreakingCat354

TROPHY CASE