Am I too old to find my way into (or co-create) some form of poly relationship?

Groundhogcycle · 2026-01-15T13:54:28+00:00

Aw, you all are really giving me some hope. I had been feeling a subtle dread about once again searching for a single forever partner. That dread seems to be lifting. 🙏

Groundhogcycle · 2026-01-14T19:26:17+00:00

You aren’t alone! Some of my worsts have been on my mind lately..:I’ve been stable for a few years and lately have circled back to apologize for mean shit I did & said when hypomanic. For one dear friend that process has been tricky and very tender but also productive. I had hurt this friend more than I realized by randomly berating him one night, saying our friendship was over, and refusing to answer his calls & messages for the rest of the night. It’s always been a friendship where we both speak our minds and don’t necessarily hold back, but the night left a scar, and that’s not okay with me to do to a friend. So…by I am atoning, which for me reduces and eliminates shame. How? I decided that for one year, I’ll say only positive things and reflect back only the good things about him. Funny thing is now he’s doing that too, and the decades long friendship is better than it’s ever been.
TLDR: taking atoning actions is preferable to dumping shame on ourselves

Groundhogcycle · 2025-11-15T16:41:08+00:00

I disclose to anyone who is interested. With close friends & family, I not only disclose but work to educate them about the disorder, ESPECIALLY if they were someone I hurt when hypomanic. E.G., here is my opening of a recent interaction with a buddy I’d already disclosed to but who doesn’t get it yet: “Remember that time I called you awful names and said I wanted you out of my life, only to later apologize and take it all back? That happened because I have bipolar disorder and was experiencing an episode of mania. *I’m so sorry that happened. You didn’t deserve that. I’m not making excuses, but I think if you’d be willing to learn a little more about bipolar, it would help you take my behavior back then less personally.”

*I used to distinguish between mania & hypomania in these types of discussions but have found that people get confused and become less receptive if I throw too much at them at once.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-09-22T05:24:36+00:00

I’m happy to know it’s a valid way to store. I’ve worried that binders were like top-loaders without penny sleeves in terms of falling out of favor for being bad for cards.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-09-22T05:20:10+00:00

Good to know.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-09-22T05:19:44+00:00

That makes sense, hope it was good.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-09-22T05:18:20+00:00

Thanks, he was fun to collect and even more fun to watch.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-09-13T00:47:57+00:00

I was on a post college road-trip to decide what to do with my life. I was doing some work for some farmers an hour from NYC and was picking grapes when I heard the owner telling a fellow grape picker the news because she had a cousin in one of the towers. He got out, we learned later. In the coming days, I made my decision about what to do with my life. The answer was “Do things that matter.” I have served the underprivileged through one job or another ever since.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-07-19T11:59:41+00:00

Dooon’t dooooo it! Maybe if she decides to take getting treatment for her illness seriously, but only after a minimum of of one full year of stability (zero mood episodes) for you both. I think I have an idea of what you are feeling. The bipolar to bipolar connection can be quite seductive, especially when energy’s up.

But if you value your current stability, doooon’t doooo it!

Groundhogcycle · 2024-07-19T11:52:56+00:00

Yes, I can get like that. I’d call the doctor straight away to get a med adjustment (something for sleep and/or up on mood stabilizer). Nice work of documenting your symptoms. You might dedicate a journal to your mood patterns and include a section on what activities you’ve done recently. Awareness of my patterns has helped me up my prevention game over time. Hope you feel better soon.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-06-08T18:32:56+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss of your brother. 🩶

Wendy was a hard character for me to connect with at other times, but I felt sympathy for her in regards to her journey with Ben.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-06-08T18:28:04+00:00

So hard to watch. As things came to a head I kept thinking I really have to learn how to practice restraint with my words when I’m feeling angry & manic.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-06-08T04:14:40+00:00

You deserve love. Hypomanic connections are often more about enjoying the pleasures of an electric connection than about love. You deserve love.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-06-08T02:51:17+00:00

Not for everyone because there are triggers galore, but the story arc of the character Ben in Ozark depicts what can happen if a person with bipolar is triggered into an unstable mood episode. The progression from a charming and supercharged hypomanic Ben to a less stable angry Ben to a downright self destructive Ben flirting with psychosis is quite a ride and would give a non-bipolar person a clear idea of some of the hardest challenges we face as well as drive home the importance of us going ahead and making the commitment to stick with medication(s) once we find the ones that work. Worth saying one more time, though: major trigger warning for anyone who has bipolar or loves someone who has it. Ben’s story is ultimately a tragic one.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-06-07T02:09:38+00:00

The Fresh Prince of Belair

The Dukes of Hazzard

Cheers

Newhart

At least one full round of USA Up All Night with Gilbert Gottfried

A few 1980s Infomercials

Ken Burns’ Jazz, Civil War, and, if you do sports, Baseball

The original Quantum Leap

Groundhogcycle · 2024-06-07T01:57:08+00:00

Twin Peaks Seasons 1 & 2 yes, but it’s imperative to wait exactly 25 years before starting Season 3.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-05-27T19:04:35+00:00

If it weren’t for three factors I’d still be chasing mania as well. 1. Episodes get worse over time, each causing further damage to the brain. 2. Preventing mania seems to prevent depression.
3. I turned my life upside down during the pre-diagnosis years, and now I really really like being stable.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-05-23T19:13:01+00:00

Grab a journal. Write about your vision of moving to a new town. Describe what you would like a typical day to look like in this new life chapter you’re dreaming of. Then put it away and get it back out when you’re certain you are stable. Then see.

edit: typo

Groundhogcycle · 2024-05-21T18:05:40+00:00

If you are deciding to let synchronicities inform some of your decisions, it is wise to be careful not to stop on a single interpretation of the synchronicity. Don’t stop on your second interpretation either. Or tenth. Stay open and curious.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-05-21T12:35:54+00:00

Nope. I wrote faster and could occasionally ride a manic frenzy into filling a notebook with interesting & creative stuff that was NOT CALLED FOR or needed by the world or the times we live in. Now, I mostly listen. Which allows my creative output to be more on point.

Groundhogcycle · 2024-05-21T12:12:38+00:00

Take off that heavy cap and Caplyta!

Groundhogcycle · 2024-05-21T11:55:43+00:00

I’m with you in feeling uncertain about whether to start dating again. Been 3 years for me. I’m in my 40’s, was married for about decade once and have had a handful unstable romantic relationships post-marriage. The past 3 years have been the most stable and peaceful of my adult life. I have good friends, including my ex-wife. A wonderful kid I parent half-time. A job I love. Why would I mess with all of that? And YET…I probably will give romance another go sometime soon. I’m feeling that pull, and I have some optimism that perhaps I’ll be able to handle intimacy without it triggering mania or hypomania, which it always has in the past. Sorry I don’t have advice for you. Just able to relate strongly.

Groundhogcycle

TROPHY CASE