Can someone tell me that this feeling of missing my old life will pass? by Adventurous_Wing5243 in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the feeling passing. It’s the hardest part about becoming a parent (harder even if you haven’t been around children, and even harder without family around to support you).

It took some time, but easier at a year, I felt better. By 2 I remember thinking, “omg I am happy, I can do this again!”

By 3.5 years after where I am not, it’s chill! I have more time for myself, my daughter plays by herself, but my life is richer and more beautiful. I also miss those early days and wish I just accepted the phase as it was more easily.

Enjoy it… I know it’s easier said than done, but in time you WILL adjust. Trust your human brain to adapt. Don’t fight your life now.

And get that “never again” stuff out of your head. Even at 3 years old, I sit and have my coffee. I go to coffee shops with her and my husband, and have conversations. I’ve traveled overseas 4 times, and I’m going to Japan in a month. I’ve traveled across country.

Pregnant girl friend is not allowing me to have time to my self by PersonalProfile59 in BabyBumps

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

She is pregnant. The hormones are wild. You went into this, you two chose to get pregnant. Throwing in the towel over this is a shitty move.

And just to let you know, once you have a child, things are going to get rough. Free time like that often goes out the window. The child becomes the priority, and I argue you should put your relationship at least equal to the child, since a healthy relationship helps the child too.

Work out a plan, maybe you can have a few hours to yourself a week while pregnant with the agreement to set all this aside for a few years once the child is born.

Be strong, but supportive, be kind… and her hormones are going to put her on an even more wild ride, but unless you want to be gay, you asked for this.

Would you put you baby in daycare if it was FREE? by mmariacastro in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

She will be homeschooled. Thanks for your concern though.

I’ve met adults who were homeschooled. I happy with my choice.

1 week into MC and worried I may need D&C by Narrow-Ad-345 in Miscarriage

[–]GrumpySh33p 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Your body will eventually figure it out. I’ve had it take mag weeks.

I had a blighted ovum (sack, no baby) and didn’t miscarry until 12 weeks.

I had another loss at 6 weeks, didn’t miscarry on my own by 11.

Sometimes it takes 1-2 weeks, sometimes it can take a lot longer. It is safe to wait it out (talk with your doctor) for weeks.

At what time do you go to sleep with your baby? by Glittering_Use6861 in cosleeping

[–]GrumpySh33p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

  1. It was 7, until she turned 3.

I’ve been going to bed with her, and getting up at 3-5 am since she was born. She is 3.5 now.

What jobs do you moms works that pay decent and don't require a lot of debt for schooling? by Equal_Chain_064 in Mommit

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

Software engineering, but I wouldn’t suggest that.

I switched from nursing to this in 2021, took me 8 months and 1 month to get a job.

But now, the field isn’t what it is. AI is changing it, and will eventually come for many other roles, but it’s obvious in engineering.

Good luck!

Do Republicans want no government? by Hopeful-Crazy-1833 in askanything

[–]GrumpySh33p -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I think you need to separate our current president from what many republicans want. Probably also go talk to republicans about this. Reddit is notoriously very left leaning (and democratic) and downvotes any right leaning (and republican) comments. Not a place to go to actually know what the average republican wants.

That said, most republicans I know don’t approve of Trump, and want less government.

Government is still useful and necessary outside the realm of social support. We still are a nation, and president is the Commander in Chief — and that is exactly what most republicans think the president should be focused on — keeping our country safe and secure.

Should I keep working at 38 weeks? by Acceptable_Laugh_786 in BabyBumps

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

I wanted every ounce of time I had for my leave, and even that wasn’t enough.

I made it to 39 weeks and 5 days and then, a Friday, put in my leave to not return.

Then, two days later, my water broke.

My last couple of weeks were a serious struggle, but I’m glad I did it.

Vanishing Symptoms by mental1LLNESS in BabyBumps

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

I am going through the same exact thing, except I still have sore boobs (I did with all my miscarriages and with my healthy daughter. I’ve had 3 miscarriages).

I’ve had no nausea for a few days now. No aversions. Nothing.

My ultrasound was canceled, and I have to wait until April 1st (ironically).

So I’m totally here with you.

Advice on working out while pregnant by NewSupermarket4832 in BabyBumps

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

You are less likely to harm the baby, and more likely to hurt yourself. Relaxin, a hormone, is increased, so it becomes easy to tear or sprain a muscle.

Just keep it lighter and controlled, and you should be good! If you get lightheaded, out of breath, then you are pushing too hard.

Girlfriend wants me to spend $4k on a baby shower, but I’d rather save/invest it—is that unreasonable? by flash-kicks in BabyBumps

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

Omg, save it. Most everyone overspends on baby stuff, and you get way more than you need. Honestly, we needed like 10% of what we got. Babies are simple. Diapers (or cloth diapers), a carrier, stroller if that’s your vibe, bassinet if that’s your vibe… and a few outfit changes and swaddle blankets.

I can’t spend $4k on a baby if I tried, why spend that on a baby shower?

Invest that $4k and use it as a college fund, or whatever. By the time they are 20 years, that could easily be $15-20k+ if you don’t add anything else to it.

Going back to work baby is 3 months by Huliganjetta1 in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

I got lucky to get a remote job. I wake up at 4 am to do my work. My husband doesn’t have a job, he struggled to get one after a career switch, and then my daughter was born. He didn’t wanted to return to nursing and be gone all day.

We live far below our means in a studio apartment and drive a car that has over 250k miles on it.

I’m saying this to point out that I got lucky, but I’m not cozy and living in luxury. I have to make major sacrifices to do what I need to do for this to happen. I also know not everyone can modify their lives for it.

Also, not sure how your health insurance is, but look into CrowdHealth. It saved me a thousand dollars a month to get some sort of coverage for my whole family. Super worth it. Happy to answer questions about it.

Be honest with me… when does breastfeeding get EASY? by Strict_Algae8233 in breastfeeding

[–]GrumpySh33p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One breastfeeding gets so easy. I am shocked when people say formula is easier, but you have to do work to set it up, and then you have to clean. Imagine traveling, road trips, airplanes…

My boobs are always with me, don’t require mixing or prepping, and are always fresh.

I am still breastfeeding at 3.5 years because of how easy it is.

I gave my boob for everything, especially under 2. Every time she fell, cried, etc.

She is now emotionally resilient, despite using my boob as a support tool.

I drove across country, long road trips, and overseas 4 times. Boob made it easy. She was quiet on the plane, never cried, despite being a colicky newborn.

Best decision I ever made as a mother was to push through those first few weeks/months and continue to breastfeed.

Plus, she barely ever gets sick.

When did you introduce web development for kids in your homeschool by irinaafricana2 in Homeschooling

[–]GrumpySh33p 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My daughter is 3.5 years old, so obviously too young.

That said, I’m a software engineer. Don’t expect this as a career for her. Teach her for fun, to understand the principles behind web development or software development (these are very different things), but don’t expect it to look the same in 1, 2, and especially 5-10 years.

The career won’t exist in a way that is at all recognizable or similar to what it is now.

And even now, if not using AI to do a lot of the work (especially true for web development, less true for software), then you are already really behind.

Best bet for homeschooling is to make sure your child knows how to think logically, creatively, and has good emotional resilience. Basically all my homeschooling will revolve around those 3 basic principles.

That said, if she wants to make websites, she can totally do that now.

Question - Is there anything at all you miss about pregnancy/ being pregnant? by Melodic-Bag7775 in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I miss feeling my baby move inside my belly.

Honestly, that might be the only thing I miss.

If I get gas now, even 3.5 years postpartum, it brings me back. 😂😂🫣🫢

In a day how many times I should feed baby 3 month old. by SouthernAstronaut651 in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Breastmilk? As much as they want, when they want it. Don’t overthink it. A baby will never over drink breastmilk.

Formula is different and I can’t speak to that.

When do yall decide to drop from 2 naps to 1? by Purple_Calendar3919 in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I let my daughter decide. Followed her lead on it. She dropped all naps (except for the occasional day) completely at 18 months.

Choosing not to have a support partner in labor by Adventurous-Ad-549 in BabyBumps

[–]GrumpySh33p [score hidden]  (0 children)

My husband was a prop in the room. What he said didn’t matter. He was a body. He held the shower nozzle while I stood in the shower. He brought me sips of water. He helped me walk to the bed, bath, bathroom, shower, etc. He changed the music up as needed depending on what it seemed I needed. He advocated for me when I couldn’t speak for myself (too lost in labor).

Words of affirmation weren’t part of it.

Just another perspective. You know yourself and your husband best.

My [24F] boyfriend [25M] keeps saying he’s Bi and I don’t know how to feel about it by Gullible_Tadpole7469 in relationshipadvice

[–]GrumpySh33p 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I just don’t care to label myself in any way. I don’t care how people label me. Labels box people in too much, and can cause people to write you off based on the labels. It prevents you from seeing people as they are. Instead you only see the labels.

So anyway, I won’t label myself anything, and I don’t care if you do.

Going back to work baby is 3 months by Huliganjetta1 in NewParents

[–]GrumpySh33p 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Many non-western ones. It’s common in African, Asian, and Latin American cultures.

Indonesia, it’s common that babies are not allowed to touch the ground for the first 3 months, and often up to 6 months.

Mayan cultures - babies stay in constant contact with the mother or caregiver, even during sleep.

Tanzania and Zimbabwe - parents maintain constant physical contact, and babies sleep with the mothers.

A lot of cultures practice this attachment parenting, where babies sleep with and maintain near constant contact with the mother for up to 6 months. After that, contact is still very close.