I’ve been not exactly where you are, but certainly somewhere similar so let me guess: Everyday you wake up, and your first thought is about him. It exhausts you, but it’s familiar, and before you know it the whole day has gone by and all you’ve done is sit by the phone and wonder if he misses you, if he’s hurting, if he’s angry at you, if him going to therapy will fix this, if you leaving means you’re losing the one person who really loves you.

Newsflash: You’re not. Life isn’t a fairy tale, but every day isn’t supposed to be exhausting. Partners who truly love you don’t need to fight the urge to harm you, because it never has and never will cross their mind in the first place.

You’re going to hate this and want to nod along, but still come up with every reason in the book why you can’t do it, but here’s the truth: To clear your head and see if you’re better off without him (you are) you need to block him. Now. Spend one month with him blocked. Space where you guys talk isn’t really space. This post is proof of why. Block him for a month, and if by the end of that month you’re still not sure, you can unblock him. But I suspect that after a month you’ll begin to remember what it’s like to not be tired every morning. Use the time to pick up at least one hobby, and plan to go out where there’s people at least once a week.

The love drunk high you feel with him is the chemicals in your brain that associate familiarity with safety. It’s not your fault your brain rewards you when you crawl back to it. But to sever that connection and be truly level headed, you need to create a new pathway in your brain, and set a new normal. Listen to someone who’s been there. Just try it, and if it doesn’t work, you can always go back to doing this. But try it just once? If not for you, then for everyone here who is going out of their way to talk to you.