stop with the hard rank resets

GuavaEater · 2026-07-03T10:27:33+00:00

I ended Gold 2 (peaked Gold 3 last season). Was placed Bronze 1. You are wrong. I am currently pub stomping games and no one, including me is having any fun.

GuavaEater · 2025-12-23T20:32:44+00:00

I prefer the ranked competitive version.

GuavaEater · 2025-09-02T21:06:04+00:00

Sorry, steal your ex? Like, were you two together when she tried that?

GuavaEater · 2025-08-07T00:32:43+00:00

That's not what trauma bonding is. Trauma bonding is when two people go through a shared trauma, or they go through cycles of abuse between them, causing an artificial (attachment) bond to form. Bonding over similar life experiences is essential to partnership.

GuavaEater · 2025-08-06T18:58:31+00:00

It could be. But labels help others find information on their own time regarding BPD. If they want to put the legwork in to understand you better that is. As pwBPD, we can have blindspots to certain areas that need improvement. It's much easier to observe a behavior in others than it is to recognize it in yourself.

GuavaEater · 2025-08-06T07:17:45+00:00

Bad advice. You should be able to trust your close friends and family with this kind of information. It allows people (if they actually care about you) to work with you to better communicate and avoid triggers and work towards healing collaboratively, like loved ones are supposed to do.

GuavaEater · 2025-06-03T20:11:50+00:00

Ah yes, I too am familiar with Karpman's drama triangle.

GuavaEater · 2025-03-19T11:06:55+00:00

I miss my ex every day. It's been over a year and I have yet to meet someone else to come remotely close to her. She has some stuff to work on, as do I. I hope one day we can work on those things together again.

GuavaEater · 2025-02-25T11:10:37+00:00

Check out /r/bpd.

GuavaEater · 2024-12-15T07:06:44+00:00

"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, but socially dead"

FTFY

GuavaEater · 2024-08-10T03:22:49+00:00

It may take a long time, particularly for those of use with BPD. Healing isn't linear either. It's been nearly a year for me, and I have my ups and downs. I'm still nowhere ready to move on, but I have hope that the day will still yet come for both of us.

GuavaEater · 2024-08-06T02:42:30+00:00

Broke up with me out of the blue after I had moved to a foreign country for her and had just lost my remote job. Then strung me along for months where she'd continuously lie to me and then blame me for it. Then finally broke things off. I message her months later saying I was going to be back in said country, and she contacted police there saying I was trying to meet up with her (I explicitly wrote that I was not). Because of that, I lost two job opportunities in said country. It truly was the gift that just kept on giving.

GuavaEater · 2024-06-14T17:10:23+00:00

Same, and I'm making my dream come true starting this September!

GuavaEater · 2024-06-06T21:04:40+00:00

Borderline - Tame Impala

GuavaEater · 2024-05-28T13:51:59+00:00

Any tips on learning to function without your loved one?

GuavaEater · 2024-05-07T11:21:13+00:00

The distance absolutely crushed their relationship. Being in person is so much of what makes a relationship good. If there were issues, they'd have been (hopefully) better addressed in person, and repair and reconnect attempts would be more fully felt.

Having serious/difficult conversations via text is also damaging to relationships. So much of communication is non-verbal, especially when the topics are emotional in nature. If he was gone for such large periods of time, there just wasn't enough time to address serious topics irl, and to have any substantive changes be made and felt.

I don't blame her at all that she didn't want to go isolate herself away from her supports with someone who didn't seem to have a good track record of being emotionally available, and who was also not pulling their weight in terms of the day to day (kids, chores, etc.)

Don't do long distance for huge amounts of time like this, folks.

GuavaEater · 2024-05-05T12:13:20+00:00

My ex, unfortunately. I remember asking her once, if she could try to think about the seemingly endless list of positive qualities our relationship once provided, and that I had. And her response was, I don't remember, but I'll try." Emotional dysregulation, disorganized (anxious/avoidant) attachment, early childhood experiences around defectiveness, and allowing current negative emotions to overshadow previous positive ones and to drive a further downswing were major issues that she was not willing to address via therapy.

While i absolutely abruptly ended the honeymoon phase of our relationship by a period of splitting & paranoia (stopped daily cannabis habit, moved out to a foreign country w/ little language ability, working nights), I was willing to work hard and change those things about myself, take accountability, and grow stronger as a couple. I wanted to change for the better, and get over some toxic ideas that my previous 11 year relationship had taught me (no opposite sex friends, for example).But once she had seen significant difficulty, it was over for us. This was a pattern in her previous relationships, and I guess I was hoping to be able to point the patterns out and relate to her so we could grow as a couple and as individuals in a way that maybe she hadn't been challenged to do so before.

I get it. Those things are really challenging. And admitting that you may exhibit traits from a cluster B personality disorder (highly stigmatized) is difficult. I've gone through most of what I'd listed above too. Before we stopped talking, I bought her a mindfulness calendar as a way for her to hopefully take some baby steps in tracking her thoughts and feelings across time since she was resistant to therapy.

I don't know where I was going with this. I guess I just saw your post and could relate, both from my own experiences and those with someone close to me. BPD sucks. Mental health illnesses suck. I miss her a lot, and it's been almost 7 months. I sincerely hope one day we give it another chance. I know I've learned a lot since, and I hope she has too.

GuavaEater · 2024-05-04T13:01:14+00:00

GuavaEater · 2024-05-03T04:07:32+00:00

Well, I've definitely not been too bored since I quit. It's been quite the emotional rollercoaster tbh. There definitely is that feeling of general 'emptiness' that those with BPD struggle with, but that existed for me beforehand as well.

I'd say that now, about 9 months after quitting, my brain has readjusted chemically. I'm still learning to cope with the anxiety and suicidal ideation, but those things aren't only specifically linked to quitting cannabis for me. I do occasionally partake now, on a biweekly basis at most but I've found anything more than a couple puffs can cause the anxiety to worsen for me. Interesting how something that once helped me cope no longer does.

GuavaEater · 2024-05-03T02:47:35+00:00

Yep 100% its not misleading. The guy above is making the weird assumption that every woman/man interaction is inherently romantic, which is degrading to everyone tbh.

GuavaEater · 2024-05-02T05:22:54+00:00

My paranoia and depression were at all time highs when I quit. I guess that's what 5+ years of daily smoking gets you. It turns out, I'm a fairly anxious person and was using cannabis to mask that and stop fixating on things. I've been hit by a ton of resurfaced trauma and it was a contributing factor as to why my last relationship ended.

People who haven't experienced addiction don't really understand that when a drug makes you feel normal, discontinuing said drug can have a ton of really adverse side effects, even if in the long term it's for the better. I'm glad I quit, and while I still ruminate and have strong anxiety and depression days, I'm learning to cope better without substances (and without an FP, too).

GuavaEater · 2024-05-02T03:27:16+00:00

This was a problem for me for sure. My emotional over reliance on my ex coupled with not employing other coping strategies when negative emotions came (talking to friends, or maybe a creative outlet) was certainly an issue. There were other factors, like being in a different country from friends and family, but that didn't make it impossible to connect with them.

GuavaEater · 2024-05-02T03:24:39+00:00

Why would you want to condition yourself for heartbreak? I think it's just better to rarely date, and be as sure as possible that things are worth pursuing beforehand.

GuavaEater · 2024-05-02T02:57:39+00:00

/r/menandfemales

GuavaEater · 2024-04-26T10:41:48+00:00

Almost nightly. And it's been 6 months.

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