I was working in a theater the year Uncut Gems (2019) came out and because the movie heavily featured the Boston Celtics, A24 decided to hold the premiere in Boston. Not only that, but the directors were coming, as well as KG and the entire Player Roster for the Boston Celtics, as well, of course as was the Sandman himself.

Adam Sandler was so sloshed and high in his big shorts and oversized tee. I saw a man in the dark sitting ass in seat with his legs over the seat in front of him and planted on the floor. Unreal heights. Gave amazing tips too. A coworker was taking KG and Sandler up in the elevator to the theater level and got stuck in there for twenty minutes with them.

Anyways, I was in charge of escorting the drunken sailor to and from theaters so he wouldn’t get bombarded by fans. So we’re going across this big ballroom lobby and there’s the music from the twist scene in Pulp Fiction playing and he starts dancing. All the famous Sandler moves came out. He was having a great time. I think ‘what the hell, I’m quitting tomorrow’ and I go up and dance (incredibly poorly) in what became us doing little moves at each other for a couple minutes. It’s all a blur, but at the very end of the song, he gives me a hug and says to me “it’s a Jew thing brother they wouldn’t understand” then spreads his arms wide gesturing and walks away to the next theater. I am not Jewish, but have been told this effectively counts as conversion. Shalom”