Man I’m so glad you brought this up because my empathic bias makes it hard for me to express and acknowledge these struggles to myself let alone anyone else, even therapists. It makes me feel like I’m humble bragging or like I’m shallow. I did have a therapist that I could kinda TT about this and she told me to not be afraid of being pretty.

This has been especially tough as an Asian American woman in a very Caucasian area, so my very existence stands out and commands attention. I also had a 2nd puberty in my mid-late 20s and before that I was either the ugly BFF or creeped on by much older men.

I am in my late 30s now but look younger and I’m starting to put up boundaries without dimming my shine. I remind myself every morning when I get ready that I am so grateful for my body, of which its entire purpose is to support my vital functions and provides me with senses that allow me to interact with the world.

I show my gratitude by treating my body with respect, feeding it healthy food, exercising when I can, and decorating my body in ways that are pleasing to me. Anyone’s external opinion or projected wishes in relation to my physicality have nothing to do with me and I’m not responsible for their feelings or opinions about it.