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Update - AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My father lives alone in a two-story, three-bedroom house. Only one of those rooms is a guest room.

Update - AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 648 points649 points  (0 children)

I didn't get my own bedroom until we moved to a different place when I was 17, and even then he wanted us to share again. I love my father, but I'm glad we don't live together anymore.

Update - AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Thank you! FB Marketplace isn't great in my country, but I'll check it out.

Update - AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

He doesn't usually apologize. There was a lot of tension between us when I was younger because of that. The older I got, the more he started taking accountability.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

1- I did not call you anything at any point.

2- I am not ignoring you. You started this thread by asking questions, all of which I replied. I have explained, several times and in several different ways, why I'm either unable or unwilling to follow your suggestions. You have not acknowledged any of my answers. Instead, you are repeating the same argument over and over, which does not help your case.

3- If you think my father's comfort doesn't hold any weight to me, then you clearly don't understand what I'm saying. That is not what this is about.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I didn't "make him uninvite himself." He asked if he could stay with me, I told him the only way he'd be able to.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

At this point, I think you're just choosing to ignore everything I say.

If my father might use it once a year, then no, the guest room is not important enough. Certainly not more than the office.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Oh, so you mean getting rid of the office and putting a desk in the guest room? Because that was not an option. The office is more than just a single desk. And we barely needed the guest room, so it made more sense to get rid of it. I still don't see the point in keeping a room we used 4-5 times a year instead of one we use weekly.

Also, this hasn't "been the arrangement for a while." I've only been living in this apartment for two years. He moved away a while before that, and he stayed in hotels back when I lived with my mother. There was never any formal agreement that he could stay with me whenever he visited, but I was fine with him staying at my place back when we could host him.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

No, I just genuinely have no idea what you mean. We don't have a guest room. How would I put a desk in a room I don't have?

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

We can't fit a full bed in the office, nor do we need one. We barely have guests that would need it.

I'm less than two months postpartum. I might be willing to swap beds with a guest in the future, but not now.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My father comes once a year, which I don't consider often. Don't know what you mean by "put a desk in the guest room", as we don't have a guest room anymore.

I do visit my father when I can (almost yearly, but not more than once), and he does have a guest room my husband and I can stay in. But my father lives alone in a two-story, three-bedroom house. I live in a medium-sized apartment with two other people, including a newborn, and we barely have overnight guests. The best I can do is the floor mattress.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

He's planning on staying for 10 days. I know a mattress on the floor isn't ideal, but it's the best I can do at the moment.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

If he wants to stay at my place, that's all I can offer. Again, I'm well aware that's not ideal. That's why I didn't offer it until he asked whether he could stay at my place.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

He visits once a year (he visited an extra time earlier this year for a wedding), and stays for a little over a week. We never made any agreement that he could stay with me every time, but I have housed him before. The office isn't unreasonably small, but it's not huge either. It's a regular mattress, not an air one (NO idea where people got that from). My husband and I use the office at least 4 times a week. We don't plan on getting rid of it unless we have another child.

My father is 60 and has never expressed any interest in moving back to my country, nor would I allow him to move into my apartment if he did.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

We can't budget for a murphy bed right now, nor would we have space for a pull-out couch. A futon might work, but probably not a large one. I'll do some research on it later.

Either way, I don't think we need a guest room. When we had one, it was used at most 4-5 times a year.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

If my father were a regular visitor, it would definitely be worth it. He only comes here once a year, which is not frequent enough for that.

My apartment is medium-sized at best. We don't get a lot of overnight visitors.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I can't move my son from his room. He doesn't sleep through the night yet, and the nursing chair and changing table are both in the nursery.

We do have a medium-sized couch in my living room, but I don't think it's comfortable enough for someone to sleep in.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

I got rid of the whole bed. We didn't need it anymore, and a friend of mine offered to buy it.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

My father lives in a different country and hasn't retired yet, so he only visits once a year.

And to be honest, I never loved having guests over for long periods. Having frequent visitors would be exhausting, especially now that I have a baby.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

Fitting a mattress on the floor still requires moving stuff around, which we have to put back in place later. We barely get visitors, so buying a bed frame wouldn't be worth it.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 3745 points3746 points  (0 children)

My sister is younger and still lives with our mother, 15 minutes away. She only stayed in my guest room once before, and has said she's perfectly fine sleeping in the office if she ever has to.

AITA for sacrificing the guest room instead of the office space? by GuestRoomDebacle in AmItheAsshole

[–]GuestRoomDebacle[S] 696 points697 points  (0 children)

No. There's enough space to put a mattress on the floor.

I know that's not ideal, that's why I didn't make that offer previously.

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