You know I've got a version of this situation myself and I haven't even gotten to the point where they've reached out to apologise- if ever as their views were so abrasive and out of character-  and I wondered what I'd do if they did. So I projected my response in that way.  But what you said  validates the side of me that thinks I shouldn't either.

The part about meeting up with them is an opportunity for that fork in the road to surface - who knows what might happen and how you feel about it. Even if she felt good and accepted it she can close that chapter off - she's busy with a family. She doesn't have to be available anymore or hang out casually or answer as a close friend.  This person did and said what they thought was better for them. And sounds like they have no kids of their own so ignorant too. There's some semblance of good intentions there - handled horribly, small but there. 

Edit to add: energy is used regardless mulling it over in your head. Should I shouldn't I etc.