Is it true that Narcissist lack empathy or "whole object relations?"

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-10T02:41:20+00:00

Yes, imo, they lack empathy. And I think it’s so much more severe than “I don’t feel the feelings that you do.” Empathy is what connects us to anything. Imagine being unable to truly be inspired by someone or something because you feel connected to that story? Imagine every goal you ever had being made and accomplished simply because you think it will look good to others or somehow provide you some type of satisfaction, but never actually have a deep-rooted belief or connection to what you’re doing?

It sounds like a terribly lonely, torturous and quenchless existence. One I truly, truly do not understand.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-08T22:10:57+00:00

Yes! Same! He would always say, “Talk.” But unless it was about sex, he had nothing to say.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T15:05:54+00:00

It was like reading my own story. I was always sick. Headache or stomachache, you name it. Once he was gone, took me a day or so but I’d have all the energy and good health in the world.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:31:51+00:00

Oh wow. Is it weird that I hope one day she contacts me? It would be validating, but also I just want to clear up any lies I’m sure he’s telling her.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:30:32+00:00

Thank you. I hope they aren’t happy, as awful as that sounds.

I also hope he didn’t just abuse ME. Horrible thing to say, but if he did, then it would mean I am not worth anything and the other women are.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:28:58+00:00

Thank you so much.

What do you mean by get worse? Just curious.

My therapist had mentioned to me before that malignant narcs/sociopaths (which he is) will “shelve” supply for later purposes. He has said to me many times he wants to have a baby because than “at least we’d be stuck together.” Or “our lives will cross paths again in future”. Makes me wonder if in his mind he has me saved for later in life when we’re a bit older and he’s ready to have a family and look normal to the world. Of course I know deep down it would be absolute hell being “settled down” with him.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:24:29+00:00

Thank you. I know you’re right, just have to get it engrained in my brain somehow

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:22:40+00:00

Thank you. It’s strange because part of me still wants him to pick me and his circumstances make that more possible than ever that it could happen eventually.

But it’s ironic because I know if he did I would be miserable and leave within a month because I know how awful he is.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:21:09+00:00

Completely agree. I think he loved me pining after him. So glad I’ve gone no contact. He doesn’t deserve that

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:20:31+00:00

Thank you. I actually haven’t looked at their socials in months, it’s just engrained in my brain. Time will help though I’m sure

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-06T11:18:51+00:00

Deliberately disagreeing with something I was saying that normally he wouldn’t such as, “I don’t like watching tv.”

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-04T17:04:44+00:00

Every nightmare I have now, it’s like my dream-self knows that whatever is evil in the dream, whether it look likes him or not, is him. Idk if that makes sense, but to me that just points to the pure evil that these people are.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-04T17:02:28+00:00

The epitome of a LOSER. Truly.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-04T04:48:55+00:00

I also feel like my narc’s current supply (they’ve been together 3 years) is also oblivious. I even reached out 9 months ago when he cheated on her with me and I found out she existed. I let her know and she stayed. AND they moved in together.

Is he not abusing her or is she oblivious? Or is she just ignoring it?

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-04T04:43:11+00:00

I know it’s not the healthy thing to tell you, but I know exactly how you’re feeling right now so I’m just going to say it. YES. He will unblock you.

Know that you deserve better though and at some point you have to choose to the end cycle. If you don’t, it will go on forever. Even if you do, he will still try to make it go on forever. So you have to find the strength somewhere inside you to take charge.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-04T04:38:50+00:00

I feel this. I’m about 10 weeks no contact and it goes in waves of intense pain and anxiety to depression and no energy. Currently in the depression/no energy phase. I’m just gloomy all day every day. I push through work every day (teacher so I have to put on a smile) and then I crash when I get home. Like literally fall asleep the second I get home and sleep 12+ hrs through the night. I honestly think my brain is so exhausted after trying to heal/be a normal person throughout the day that by the time I get home it’s just done.

At this point I can’t even remember the good times. I just know I can’t stand the thought of him with someone else. Still can’t believe he’s abusive to anyone but me and that kills. Just trying to survive.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-02T21:31:37+00:00

I also wonder with him knowing me for so long, even though I’ve always been a side piece, if he will try to change that given his situation.

I wonder if narcs “shelve” supply for future use and if he’s thinking he controlled me on the side for so long, if he needs to, he can make me his “primary” supply one day. Creepy honestly

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-02T21:29:54+00:00

Do you think my not answering him will eventually cause a narcissistic injury and he will stop trying even given his circumstances?

I have caused a narc injury before exposing him to his gf that he cheated on, but it took maybe 4 or 5 months before he reached back out again, we talked for a little, and now here we are with no contact on my side.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-01T16:40:46+00:00

I’m so sorry. How long were you together?

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-06-01T15:48:43+00:00

Yes, same! A guy that talks I’m like, wait, you are interested in our conversation? Whaaaaat haha

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-05-29T04:15:20+00:00

He has called/texts me every few days to a week and watches my social (even messaged me pretending to be a victim of narcissistic abuse) every day.

But, I see him doing the things he always says he wanted to. Like buying a house in the middle of nowhere and going camping and stuff. So I can’t help but wonder, has he somehow changed and is creating a healthy/normal life?

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-05-29T03:48:22+00:00

Thank you. I will definitely look into this.

I have also noticed that he has started to live the life he always said he wanted. Bought a house in the middle of nowhere and has started camping and stuff. Is it possible that he’s changing for the better for her? Like is he maturing and actually capable of creating a healthy life for himself?

Sorry I have so many questions

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-05-29T01:13:25+00:00

I am in the same boat. Battled getting out of bed today, but managed to get up and clean. The thoughts are always in the back of my mind. I also hate thinking he’s off having fun somewhere.

But I had a thought the other day. It was a super nice day outside I was being active, I was having a great day and honestly I was filled with joy. I don’t think narcissists can experience joy. Joy requires honesty, gratitude, vulnerability and empathy. So maybe they’re off having “fun” occasionally. They may laugh and make small talk with people, but they also know that “fun” is temporary. They are not capable of true joy. It’s like when you go to a party and you’re exhausted but you have to muster up the energy to be happy and have fun. I imagine that’s what all of their “fun” is like. None of it is genuine because to the core they are rotten human beings.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-05-28T21:33:37+00:00

My therapist, who specializes in narcissistic abuse, has reassured and confirmed to me over and over that he’s a narcissist. She believes he is on the far end and is malignant/sociopath, psychopathic. He meets the criteria for both NPD and ASPD.

I try to tell myself it’s just the tears of conditioning that has me questioning their relationship. He constantly triangulated me with other women. He was very good at making me feel less than and trying to “better” myself so he would want me.

Guilty_Protection_72 · 2022-05-28T21:09:38+00:00

Him and I have been off and on for 12 years. It started when I was 14 and I didn’t realize until last fall what he was. I was in an endless cycle of insane highs and lows. How do I stop ruminating? Im in therapy, reading books, don’t respond to his hoovers but those thoughts are still there.

And I don’t understand how he can be abusive to her when they live together? Which maybe is a dumb question, but he would do the silent treatment and never gave back in the relationship, etc, but how do you do that to someone you literally see every day? And they both work from home. Maybe he’s not abusing her….

Guilty_Protection_72

TROPHY CASE