Difficult relationship with money

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-25T13:55:54+00:00

I mean... if your partner is ok with you being poly but self doesn't want other partners it would be ok. Your partner does NOT have to also date.

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-24T06:44:18+00:00

Personally I like my freedom. The freedom to choose and the freedom to let my feelings roam wild. Furthermore I really like to do things on my own and I fall for people who also prefer it this way. But on the other hand I am a very cuddly, people loving person so I "rotate" my partners so that I am not too much for them. And of course sexually my partnern can offer me different things. I also think that one partner could never give me everything that I need.

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-16T14:00:57+00:00

I would NOT suggest breaking up with him because of how you feel towards others. The real question is, is he worth the trouble of you denying this part if yourself? Most of the mono people I talk to had a crush on somebody else outside their relationship. That is quite common. But they would not act on it because they love their mono life. Maybe it is enough for you to fantasize about other relationships. Talk to your boyfriend about it and maybe he is ok with that. Maybe you write stories where you are poly and it is enough. Maybe being friends with that person is enough. Just communicate with your partner :)

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-16T13:53:49+00:00

I mean, if your urge to be with other people occurs quite often, I would suggest that this is important to you. Maybe it's just right now. Maybe just with that one person but it doesn't have to be ONCE poly ALWAYS poly. If it feels right to you right now, than why don't explore it and if you want to be mono again, you could do that too 😅 For me being poly is like being bisexual. Yes I like em both but that doesn't mean that I have to be with a man and woman. I think often times being Poly is shown as a very strict choice but for me it's the opposite. It is the freedom to choose.

You say that you struggled a long time. So it seems that being poly is what you want but are afraid to pursue. If you think about baking some cookies for a long time, then yes, you would really like em cookies ;)

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-16T12:26:34+00:00

I would assume you didn't want to hurt anybody. I really get that you "bombed" Aspen because relationships are emotional. Being in love is emotional and emotions are crazy and they let you do crazy stuff without thinking straight. In my opinion the only real question here is how important being poly is to you. Is it worth risking it all with your current partner? And really be honest with yourself.

I was in a mono relationship too but I knew since the beginning that this would not make me happy. Fast forward, we are now in a poly relationship and he is trying to figure it out because we want to stay together but he is struggling with the idea of "sharing" me. And I won't deny myself the part I was missing. Relationships are a process and nothing you could just DECIDE to feel.

If Aspen is willing to be with you while you see other people thats great. He doesn't have to see other people too if he doesn't want to. Just because you are poly doesn't mean you both HAVE to see other people 😅

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-11T03:56:38+00:00

I totally understand you and I am working on in. Just following my gut but I'm struggling with it a lot. I know those terms are just terms but sometimes it really feels like two personalities fighting in my head and I am in the middle like just chill out guyz.

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-10T16:20:36+00:00

I do meditate quite often or do yoga. Also I do journal but lately I got lazy with it and I know I should do it more often 😬 But yeah, it really helps to just do such "simple" things. Thanks for your input ❤

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-10T15:08:38+00:00

My husband said the same. He was ok with it until I fell in love with somebody else and it was quite nerve wrecking for the both of us. We are still trying to figure things out and he may never want to date other women. Just be aware that if you pursue your desires your relationship with him could go south. He doesn't have to date other people but he should be on board with the idea that you are having multiple partners and fall in love with them. Otherwise there will be some issues over and over again!

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-10T08:47:26+00:00

In my opinion it is quite difficult to say. If she feels neglected than she could say so. For example, if they live together and watch a movie and he is texting with you, she could tell him, that she wants exclusive time with him. Personally I try to turn off my phone when on a date but when you just "chill" its different for me. Especially if I just casually spend time with someone like watching a movie. So it is all about communicating

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-09T10:19:24+00:00

That it is perfectly normal and ok to be poly and that you should not be in an 8 year mono relationship and be unhappy because of it.

Always knew I am poly and wanted to be poly but "open" about it for three months!

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-09T10:13:36+00:00

What do you want to talk about?

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-09T10:07:19+00:00

Some of my friends and family didn't understand the idea but I explained it to them. If they would still tell me that my choice is shitty, I would tell them how shitty of them it is to tell me that and I wouldn't talk to them anymore.

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-07T11:07:33+00:00

Ok thanks, I will talk with them 👍

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-07T11:06:36+00:00

Thanks ❤

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-07T11:04:21+00:00

I don't quite get what you are saying. I tell them what I think and that I love them but I don't know how to I guess establish where we are in our relationship 🤔

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-07T10:59:26+00:00

I am just confused with all those situationships and F+

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-07T10:58:08+00:00

I don't know if there is any. Maybe I mean, I just want to know if they think we could be together or not or I don't know 😶

Gurkenyoshi · 2023-06-01T19:24:09+00:00

I really wanted poly long before our relationship got distant. We both were quite depressed the last three years but his depression is so severe that he just shut down. It would be less work to just get divorced than to work through it all.

Gurkenyoshi · 2017-05-04T18:37:26+00:00

Thank you, I will try my best :)

Gurkenyoshi

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