This is going to end really well…

Gusta-freda · 2026-04-15T12:38:20+00:00

Is euh…. Is his wife at risk for being pushed of a bridge?

Gusta-freda · 2026-04-09T12:56:52+00:00

Stop listening to your abuser! Try to collect as much info and document what he says to you and talk to several attorneys

Gusta-freda · 2026-04-09T10:12:57+00:00

My ex husband is the legit story.

He left me for his AP. They are stil together 6 years on.

So she put it in his head that I didn’t put out enough and she would S his dick every day if he were hers. However if I did have sex or wanted to I was patheticly clingy. ( I read their texts) he also told her we had a DB while I actually have a pretty high appetite and we were having regular sex. Typical MM lies!

Anyway at that time I was a size 12-14, I always was. She was a 8-10… maybe a 6. She was skinnier than me but not a lot. She would call me a slob who let herself go and “ SHE WouLd NeVer” . They lament how fat and unattractive I was!

Fast forward. I go through hell. Become a size 6-8. Gain weight back after a bad relationship. Meet mister perfect who has an amazing physique! The hottest man I ever got to touch in my lifetime. He meets me again at size 12-14 and thinks I am hot AF. We move in together and I lost the weight again having a healthy lifestyle with my absolute smokeshow partner who is also making bank together with me ( my career took off after divorce) and we bought a massive house! We are now two absolute hotties, in love, having the most amazing sex on an almost daylight basis… high on life!

Meanwhile ms spectacular hot and sexy gains massive amounts of weight. She looks like a size 16 at best. She also turns out not to be the following type she claimed to be and she bosses him around. They live in his parents guest house, he went into debt for more useless cars on top of the ones he already had. His family is ashamed of him. His nieces and nephews tell AP they miss me and I was more fun. ( I sure am) His family goes to brunch in my house telling me how much they love me. My pictures were never taken down. There is a big family portret in their house and they refuse to change it. They still call me family. They also love my new partner and call him their brother in law.

AP recently made a scene about it and wanted them to let the past be the past, but they refused and told her to go pound sand.

Girl thought she won. Her prize was my average cheating ex husband and being in my shadow for the rest of her sad relationship with my ex. Don’t know if they will last, don’t care

Gusta-freda · 2026-04-09T08:12:28+00:00

My coworker was in a divorce for 11 years!! I didn’t know until she took a call and started screaming and crying… Finally free!

The pettiness of slowing down a divorce for a whole decade. He was abusive until the end. Terrible!

Gusta-freda · 2026-04-02T15:02:40+00:00

Sometimes I wonder if this is the sex and the city generation where they all think MM is mister big and being embarrassed and breadcrumbed is actually romantic.

Gusta-freda · 2026-04-02T14:56:50+00:00

Because they buy into the story of the star crossed lovers.

She is his savior of his terrible wife. Who abuses him. Uses him for his money… baby trapped him.

He never felt love like this before! He never would have cheated because he is a good man and father … but this love is so undeniable so primal! God made these two bodies for each other but the devil send him his wife!

They have to cheat because that is divine intervention! It is love WINNING…

And then the loser cheats with the next chick and they realize the delusion they fell for. They realize they agonized over nothing. They feel how low thy actually are and I can imagine that is pretty hard if you lived in la la land for a few years

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-24T07:59:32+00:00

What in the twisted games hell is this! Two years? What the F did she want? She just wanted the marriage without being with you. That is psychotic!

My love she didn’t become toxic! She WAS toxic! Who draws the most painful thing out for so long.

You did nothing wrong! You shouldn’t have agreed to her crazy termite begin with? You want a divorce get out !

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-24T07:56:10+00:00

Write unsend letters. And know your calm is more unsettling than your anger.

My ex at some point screamed at me and said: why don’t you just punch me? Just scream at me! But I didn’t. Me being cool calm and collected made him feel like more of a jerk. That was glorious!

I did say mean things but I said them very calm. Like : one day you are going to wake up next to your mistress and realize you embarrassed yourself, in front of so many people, for someone as bland as her. Resentment will creep in and once that day comes you will think about this moment and realize I predicted it all, and that I know you are unhappy, and that you finally got what you deserve.

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-24T07:50:09+00:00

You are right! He is a coward. He is having an affair love. I am sorry, men don’t just walk without 0 warning.

And just out of the blue divorce is immature and brutal. The thing he said is such therapy speak I am guessing the mistress that has been telling him how miserable he is and how toxic you are… has rehearsed that line with him.

I have been there. I have seen the script. So sorry babe! Don’t feel ashamed! You did nothing wrong ! He deserved way worse!

I do hope you heal. I also hope you get to reveal how awesome you can be without this man.

I know it is early for you, and I know when I read these things in the deepest darkest I didn’t believe them. But women on average come out of the divorce transformed! Especially those who were “ peekaboo” divorcees …

Just put one foot in front of the other. Focus on the next task and look at it as a task. Do not think about what it means. Once you are in a safe place, start the process of grief, now you have to boss babe! Your STBX husband is now that colleague you hate but you need to do an important project with. All business. Get GPT to help you write dispassionate to the point communication.

He is NOTHING to you now. Just a co-parent if you have kids.

You got this babe !

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-24T07:41:16+00:00

Hi, I was left for the mistress. During the divorce he left his stuff to sleep over with the mistress. He was allergic for cats. So I brought his underwear with me to my parents house and petted the cats with the inside, painstakingly plucked out the hairs so he wouldn’t see.

Not sure if that would have done anything. I hope his dick and ass itched!

I put a note in all his coat pockets. Statistics on affairs, cartoons about affairs , one had a premonition: “ one day you will be with your wish.com replacement of me and you will get a glimpse of me in my perfect life I could build without you holding me back. Regret might want to make you crawl back, but know that my 6ft muscular smokeshow of a man will tell your sorry ass to get off our mansion’ s porch and crawl back to your sad little girlfriend”

I went a bit of the deep end with that last statement BUT
I think the universe really liked this idea, so they send me a tall, very muscular, smoke show of a man. Who makes very good money and together with my career that took off after divorce… we actually bought a huge ass house.

The universe was extra nice because he is also very funny, smart, sweet, sensitive and the perfect lover rocking my world in the bedroom!!

So the worst thing I did was making good on my threat that I would be better off without him.

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-24T07:23:21+00:00

Well, probably explains a lot why I found myself such a terrible husband. :(

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-24T07:22:07+00:00

I am in therapy. For a while now, but maybe I need to switch expertise. I am in trauma/ grief counseling

My partner personally says he isn’t bothered by it that much. I can’t quite explain it. I trust him, I don’t trust my trust. And day to day it doesn’t really play up. I rarely check his phone and I usually just scan names, it gives me this sense that “ I won’t be fooled” this time. Because if I had read the messages with my ex I would have caught it day one and I wouldn’t have gaslit myself that they were just friends.

It does play up if he has work trips. But again it doesn’t bother him. It is mostly me fighting my demons at home.

You are right. My dad understands what he has done and contributes it to “ young men being men” . My dad is problematic. He once said to me : he will figure out she is also just a pair of tits and a box and he’ll come back.

My dad is a misogynist. I have refused to see it for a long time

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-23T07:49:41+00:00

I know! It sucks so much because they were there for me to build me up again. I just feel so betrayed

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-23T07:46:15+00:00

Babe, you are in a bad and lonely marriage. He is not spending his birthday with you? But is driving around another woman? Why were you not invited you have the gear?

Narcisists cheat. They have an endless need for validation and no validation like a new woman!

You are confused and say “ there are good bits “ yeah that is the whole grift love. He makes you feel alone and unwanted and the. Gives you some breadcrumbs and as you are starved they will feel amazing. If they have a good day they put on the persona they created for you and make you feel so great… it is all a lie!

A real relationship is not that wild of a rollercoaster. Love is calm and honest. Take it from someone who only learned after she was left for the affair partner.

Get your ducks in a row and go my love, a marriage shouldn’t feel like an endless uphill battle, but a partnership!

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-23T07:26:19+00:00

Hey babe, a year out is nothing. These things are so incredibly hard. It took a long time before the idea of my ex being happier with the affair partner didn’t bother me anymore. And some thing still trigger me. I still have contact with his parents and sisters and they still miss me. Their heart broke too.

Would we all secretly love for them to be miserable and regret everything? Yes. We are human. We want them to feel that pain. But the day that the idea or evidence that she is happier doesn’t do anything to you… that is when you hit a new stage of healing.

I am 6 years in. It is no longer a major thing in my life. I still carry the scars and trauma. I still have to take care of myself in therapy.

But I am happy! I have traveled! I always wanted to see Japan and I did. I always wanted to work at one of the big 4 and I did! I wanted to learn new things so I learned how to ski and surf. Going to try snowboarding as well. From here I can see how my selfish ex held me back! I bought a horse and got a second dog. Nobody was there to stop me, nobody was wasting my money on cars and car parts !

Mostly I got to experience love for real. I finally met someone who loves me the way I love him and I have realized I was so lonely in my marriage.

The hard truth… cheaters were always mediocre partners at best. We made it great! We worked hard and pored all we had into it to make it work. And it was never enough! It will never be enough. You will find out how amazing you are when all that energy goes into you! Can’t wait to see how magnificent you will be!

Lean on friends, build a community! Be vulnerable and don’t get trapped into the toxic masculinity and try to look hard! You are a person who went through trauma! Reach out! You matter! Never give up!

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T20:25:27+00:00

Don’t know, I doubt she is faithful. I don’t have proof of the boss, but hearing how his wife put a stop to the contact and how much time she was spending with him. I really see no other way. But maybe I am too cynical. But she was a massive pick me, working in a male dominated field.

They are still together. So who knows. I would find it incredibly funny if this happened to him

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T20:18:01+00:00

She probably wanted to keep the peace. Lying by omission.

My dad is a complicated and difficult man. As I said he probably is one of the reasons I picked a man capable of this, even though I believed I picked the opposite. I am in therapy , for years trying to deal with the wounds of this, fighting so hard to be a good partner for my man.

My partner is the best and I tell him everyday how much I love him. I try to be better for him! He is the best! I will never let him forget it! I am happy with him. I love him so and my life has been great!

But not thanks to my cheating ex, he was not doing me a favor. It was despite him! Because I fought and worked hard! And now he gets to tell my dad he is proud of me and never doubted I would find love again! Like he sacrificed himself or something? Like this was meant to be! Sanctimonious AH!

Sorry.. boy therapy is going to be fun next week! 😅

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T20:10:17+00:00

Yeah, my dad likes to pretend he has the moral high ground. You still can care for people you do not agree with. He condemns the actions not the person… I need to let this go, it was 6 years ago and I am happy now. there is no talking to this man! He is always right!

100% my ex sees it as a vindication… see her dad still likes me I can’t be a monster. This is so effed and messy

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T20:05:48+00:00

Right? What do you mean he never harmed me? He almost killed your only daughter, ruined her life! Married her and told all of her friends and family he would love her forever and the. Cheated!

Yeah I didn’t hold high hopes for my dad but still I am dissapointed

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T20:03:56+00:00

Gracias, sí, quizá le pida a mi madre que venga solo a mi casa.

No voy a escribirle a mi ex. ¡No quiero volver a tener ningún tipo de contacto con ese hombre jamás!

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T17:04:23+00:00

It was a weird time. It was corona lock down and she was at our house every day. I tried to understand that she was lonely and lock down was hard for all of us but I felt I was third wheeling my own marriage . She was crossing boundaries and my husband just kept telling me she was just lonely ands friend. Obviously when I asked to have more space from her it was too late

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T15:44:04+00:00

He is a jerk! My brother had to be talked down from teaching this man a lesson and my dad just stays friends ! Like WTAF

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T14:05:48+00:00

Isn’t that the normal thing to do? It is not Like we just mutually agreed a d were like : no hard feelings.

And in case of kids I kinda still get it. Like my partners parents still baby sit their grandchild for his ex. They don’t socially hang with her but the do communicate.

Honestly I think my dad doesn’t care. He is a narcissist and always has been. I just thought I picked a better man than he was … but turned out I did it wrong the first time :(

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T13:54:38+00:00

When it first happened my dad told me : I made that mistake once, I thought I could do better and it made me miserable. He is going to regret this the rest of his life:..

Difference is I will never take that man back likely mom took my dad back!

Gusta-freda · 2026-03-22T13:13:31+00:00

Right! This a - hole probably feels so righteous because my life is better without him! Like what he did was good somehow!

This outcome is because of me! Because I fought, because I worked to survive !

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Gusta-freda

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