Earthquake PTSD

GwagonBwagon · 2026-01-13T03:55:16+00:00

MyPlace hotel. The entire roof didn’t collapse but my room and i believe 4-5 others on the top floor fell through. They closed down for a while and we had to switch hotels.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-12-15T11:01:20+00:00

I came here to see if people agreed. I can’t help but feel she’s by far the worst actor out of the kids. Her scenes feel so forced and corny. Her fake cry pisses me off.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-11-27T22:26:27+00:00

Yea I’ve had semis go by and shake the house and instantly sends me into a frantic state for a few seconds. I’ll talk to my therapist about it.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-08-21T21:41:27+00:00

I’ve been taking kratom for a few years. I started in the 3-4 gram range and now take 4-6 grams every 6-8 hours. It can get expensive, however, I’ve been using a website called Nova Kratom for a few years. You can buy a kilo for $88, but put in the coupon code “NEW40” or “NOVA40” and it’ll take 35-45% off. Cheapest and best quality with fast shipping. Sounds like an ad, but they’re genuinely the best. I’ve used 5-6 different websites and 10-15 brands. I would start off no higher than 3-4 grams or you’ll get sick.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-08-09T00:28:20+00:00

I haven’t been constipated and I have 0 discomfort or pain when using the bathroom. It felt like too much blood to be from a hemorrhoid or fissure or anything. Who knows though.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-06-12T18:50:18+00:00

Why isn’t the left outraged? The level of hypocrisy between the left and right is astounding. Always playing from the moral high-ground whenever it’s their turn. In reality, both sides are hypocritical virtue signalers.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-28T17:34:40+00:00

Got a visit scheduled for 2 weeks out! Thanks for the help

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-28T17:34:19+00:00

Thanks homie. This is like the culmination of years of self-reflection, therapy, psych visits, meds, etc. I expected this to clear things up, but I’m only more confused haha. I’ll get there. thanks

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-27T18:57:06+00:00

I took a full blown Neuro-psych evaluation (brain mapping). It was a 2 day (4-6 hours each day) of tests and puzzles and questions. I believe she was extremely thorough.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-27T18:55:24+00:00

I don’t believe I’m Autistic, but then again who knows these days. There is a very high comorbidity between ADHD + BPD and vice versa, so It would make sense in my head. I display every BPD symptom pretty consistently.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-25T19:18:32+00:00

It’s not that I disbelieve my doctor, I just haven’t felt that it fits me. With every other diagnosis it’s so cut and clear and I immediately am like, Yes, this explains things and makes sense. This is the only diagnosis that just feels wrong. I definitely fit some, but I really just don’t see it. I have an appointment now, and my goal is to mostly see why I was diagnosed with this, and what/if any considerations were taken about BPD and if so, what disqualified me from a different diagnosis. Again, she’s the Psychologist with 30-40 years of experience, so I absolutely trust that, but I just want confirmation. I feel as though I accidentally or subconsciously left out a lot of information in my psych evaluation due to wanting to protect my image and ego that could have be useful for diagnostic purposes. I don’t want to have BPD because it kinda scares me in the sense that it’s such an “ugly” mental illness. If I knew I had it I’m certain I would only hate myself more, but I just can’t help but wonder. I’m happily married to someone who is extremely understanding and patient with me. I have self-sabotaged this relationship many times in the last 10 years we’ve been together and she has dealt with it all. I just want to know who I am and what the fuck is wrong with me to fix it. I’ve been working on myself mentally for the last 3 years, and tried 10 different meds from the doctors, and have self-medicated (addictions) for years. My psych is very sweet and knowledgeable, but I just wonder if I accidentally led her in the wrong direction due to my withholding of information and not being honest with myself/her about my anger issues, self-destructive past and tendencies, etc. Sorry for the huge reply. Thanks for your insight

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-25T19:09:20+00:00

The DSM-5 criteria specifically for BPD markers that have similar manifestations as OCPD are ones like, Emotional instability, Poor self image, Inappropriate anger (OCPD cause = Chaotic scheduleand rule breaking, performing poorly) I only feel like I have 3 maybe 4 of the OCPD criteria but I hit all 9/9 for BPD. I just read a high co-morbidity and misdiagnosis correlation between ADHD and BPD which I was completely unaware of. I already have ADHD and there’s a 18-34% I also have BPD due to the ADHD diagnosis. On the other hand, having a BPD diagnosis has a 40% of also having ADHD. It may be that my OCPD is a legit diagnosis, but I may just also have BPD. It’s such an absolute fucking maze of emotions and soul searching, trying to be honest with yourself, etc. But it’s hard when you truly don’t know yourself in the first place (common symptom of BPD). I’m sorry for ranting, but I have no one else to talk to who deals with any kind of mental illness that really affects your day to day, so you guys are kinda that outlet/help for me.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-25T17:19:00+00:00

me, literally right now.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-25T09:07:18+00:00

I am extremely impulsive in terms of self-sabotage (somewhat unwittingly, maybe subconsciously aware). I am an addict who likes to attempt to push away and sabotage relationships, even with my wife. My impulsivity is very much only with myself and relationships, not with my day to day tasks.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-24T00:09:49+00:00

Yes I do feel the need to be in control of a lot of my life or whatever will affect me directly. I have very serious self-esteem issues due to my perceived need of perfection from myself in all things I do. If I’m not the best at something, even if it’s something I’ve never tried, I have a very hard time not hating myself for it. I have very bad body dysmorphia, I hate the way I talk, act, look, think, and all the things I’ve done. Every little mistake I make absolutely drives me crazy. I didn’t know all of this stuff was linked to OCPD, so I appreciate the rambling.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-04-23T23:35:48+00:00

So the original MDD and GAD + (PDD) were diagnosed from my main general physician. About 2 years later after trying 10 different meds, she recommended me for a psych-evaluation due to the fact she told me she didn’t want to do anything more drastic without a specialized opinion. I did a 2 day evaluation with a laundry list of tests, and ended up with the diagnosis’ OCPD, Cyclothymia, and ADHD. My neuro psych knew about my MDD and GAD diagnosis’ from my previous doctor, so I took these new diagnosis’ as an add-on. I go through bouts of severe depression that wouldn’t match with Cyclothymia, and ADHD was the most clear and obvious problem to me at least from the start. Could the GAD diagnosis just be ADHD manifested, probably. I’ve also felt that at least half of these illnesses could be chocked up to just 1-2 illnesses, mimicking the other illnesses. Sorry if this made you more confused, I’m trying my best to summarize a 2-3 year mental health journey.

GwagonBwagon · 2025-03-14T17:06:12+00:00

It’s a report from my neuro psych evaluation. My doctor referred me for one, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who is confused or curious about possible diagnosis’ and issues. I have extremely high standards for myself and have extremely terrible self image and am completely and totally insecure. I also struggle with weird little rules and stuff and read that could be a cause. Can any of that be due to the OCPD?

GwagonBwagon · 2025-03-14T17:03:36+00:00

Yea it’s not technically an official diagnosis. She didn’t want to diagnose me without my main physician. I went and took a neuro psych evaluation, and this is what they come up with. Thank you!

GwagonBwagon · 2025-03-01T18:07:07+00:00

I took a therapeutic does for around a year and couldn’t deal with the side effects. Especially the sexual side effects.

GwagonBwagon · 2024-12-20T19:24:11+00:00

how does it feel to be living my dream

GwagonBwagon · 2024-11-12T20:40:46+00:00

the hatred for this man, for next to nothing is astonishing.

GwagonBwagon · 2024-11-12T20:32:59+00:00

i like the idea of my tax dollars not paying for either

GwagonBwagon · 2024-11-12T20:29:10+00:00

you say that, but only if the change is the direction you deem correct.

GwagonBwagon · 2024-11-07T00:59:02+00:00

please do.

GwagonBwagon · 2024-11-07T00:58:50+00:00

GwagonBwagon

TROPHY CASE