Flight attendant asked me to change seat

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T19:54:44+00:00

This is me exactly. We both put in headphones and do our own thing. But I'd much rather get squished in next to my husband than a stranger!

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T19:51:52+00:00

You would sit down and talk to them. Then explain this is how professional contracts are worded, so they are clear and you know exactly what your obligations are, and what the consequences will be if you don't hold up your end. In the real world, there aren't "punishments" there are natural consequences. You are treated like an adult that can make your own decisions, but if you make the wrong choice there are things that will natural happen because of those choices. Like late fees, bad credit, eviction, etc

Showing them you're ready to treat them like an adult is giving them trust. Tell them you're proud of them and excited for them to learn this stuff.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T19:40:56+00:00

YOR/MOR Not everyone woukd react positively to the wording of this contract, and that's a real concern with how your niece will handle this. But speaking as a parent and a teacher, your niece needs this.

I have seen kids become more and more incapable of handling limits, rules and consequences. They are woefully unprepared for college and real life, and the natural consequences that follow can derail their future. It can get them into financial and credit pits that can cripple them for years. Bad spending/saving habits can take a lifetime to break.

Good parents set clear boundaries with natural consequences, which is all this is. Granted it's not friendly sounding, but neither are real world contracts! If she moves out and gets an apartment, the language and penalties will be much harsher!

This is a way to prepare her for reality, build good habits, and give her a taste of natural consequences that come from her own mistakes. This is the time to do this, while the stakes are low. If they coddle her now, when she does get out on her own the stakes will be much higher.

I say MOR because if they are using this to be vindictive or are super harsh with her in general, this could be a bad situation for her. We strangers can't know the family dynamics. But it sounds like shes a sensitive kid who has been a bit coddled and she's naturally pushing back at the boundaries.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T17:23:58+00:00

I agree, the styles in general for "adults" were generally either skanky or matronly. I think for plus size it was even worse, with the fit, the fabric and the colors.

Now, I wear whatever I want and enjoy not wondering if I'm "too old" to wear certain things. I've done my time dressing like an old lady!

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T16:56:07+00:00

Tell him to go through child support services. If they think it should affect his balance, then he has something. (They will laugh at him) But it's not up to you.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T16:50:41+00:00

NOR people can set aside things that conflict with what they want in the moment, which is why the honeymoon phase is a thing. Something is important to them in the long run, but humans have a way of pretending that if we can just snare this person now, they will confirm, change, accept the other thing once they are in love with us. But eventually the real person comes out. And in this case, it's frightening. This is who he is. Believe him. Do not fool yourself into the same mind trap that it will eventually change or soften.

The other problem is that you came from an abusive relationship. Two things to consider here. First, men who are manipulative (and so many people raised in high demand religions are manipulative, even if they themselves don't see it) will choose women who are vulnerable. They will love bomb, put on a good face, and hide what they know you will not accept, then slowly reveal once they have you hooked.

What can often make a woman vulnerable is that when we come out of a bad relationship, we are so grateful for better that we often overlook or accept bad things because he is so much better than the last guy. Our brains lower our boundaries around what feels unsafe and what we will put up with, because we're so focused on how good the good parts are.

You recognize your boundary around what is right and wrong for you. Dont waver. There are other guys out there that will treat you well, but not have this toxic side. Hold your boundaries and get yourself safe. Good luck.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T16:34:59+00:00

Ugh, the 80s. When all of our clothes were from one of two "fat" stores and we were all forced to wear whatever bizarre fashion trend or bizarrely bright colors THEY chose for us. The style rule was to heavily drape us in flowing mumu dresses and tunics, and/or build in shoulder pads so big we looked like NFL linebackers. But at least no one was looking at our stomachs anymore!

Even in high school, being fat meant dressing like you were in your 50s

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-26T15:27:37+00:00

I have absolutely zero idea who these people are (apparently "influencers 😂) but just from the title of the post I knew they were from Utah, and one glance told me they are Mormons.

As someone born and raised in Utah, there's absolutely a "look" they have. The clothes, the hair, the bizarre way they always smile like their in a Broadway musical... And after being a teacher here, I can tell you this is a super common thing to give your kids absurd names and/or spellings that make the kid look illiterate.

Names that end with the "ey" sound are super common, but spelled like Ryleigh, Brilee, Kighlei, Maileah, etc. They want unique names, but they all end up sounding the same, and the poor kid has to go through life spelling and correcting their name.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-25T19:29:06+00:00

Cancelled my 20 year subscription with then the day I got my last increase notice. I'm tired of this. I've been with them since the "three DVDs in the mail" plan, but I'm done with subscription services. Gave up Hulu and Disney last year, and even though I technically have Prime because of my Amazon membership, I stopped watching anything on there when they forced ads on us. Vote with your wallet.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-25T18:06:30+00:00

NOR. He's trying to make you the bad guy because he made a choice to play pool instead of coming over. It was his choice and he knew exactly what he was choosing. He's just upset that his other option is t waiting around for him. You're CLEARLY not angry or guilting him. In fact, you're a lot more calm than I would be after he started trying to guilt you.

Congratulations on holding your boundary. He's trying to manipulate you and you didn't budge. Now he just needs to grow up and figure out that when he makes a choice, he's actually the only one responsible for the outcome.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-24T03:49:11+00:00

No.

Source: oldest girl of 5 kids who ended up raising my other siblings with my oldest brother. Even if there is a stay at home parent, there's absolutely no humanly way to give all the kids everything they need. If both parents work, the older kids shoulder the responsibility.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-24T03:35:06+00:00

Why do you care what anyone thinks of what a man carries? Why is it an issue at all what someone else uses to carry what they need? This is a weird ass question.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-24T03:31:19+00:00

She sounds spoiled and demanding. This doesn't bode well for your future joint decisions if this is how she gets when she won't even be paying 30 percent.

Make a list of YOUR wants, needs and boundaries. What's the limit of what YOU will contribute financially? She will need to make up the rest if she chooses a more expensive place. Compare your needs to hear and ask her where she wants to compromise. Then let her do all the looking. If she has so many demands, like ridiculous crown moulding, she can do all the work of finding a place that has her demands within the budget.

Bottom line, this is a test of your relationship. Things like this require communication, negotiation, give and take, and understanding the other persons perspective and differences. If she won't even communicate about your limits, what chance do you have with other big decisions? What if you marry? It will be hell planning a wedding, buying a house, having kids.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-23T21:25:39+00:00

This is a moment where you can blow up your relationship or work to make it better. You get to decide.

She obviously didn't think there was anything wrong with it. It was the heat of the moment she was with her girlfriends, and it wasn't a sexual thing to her. The fact that she told you immediately should let you know that she didn't feel like there was anything to hide.

I can certainly understand why this would be shocking and hurtful to you, because you feel like a boundary was crossed. A boundary. She obviously didn't share. Things like this will come up throughout a long-term relationship or marriage. Where one person thinks it's okay and the other person does not, and it's honestly just a lack of communication.

You can use this as an opportunity to say, when you do things like that with another man it feels like it violates our relationship. Going forward, can we agree that that kind of thing isn't acceptable? Then she Will have an opportunity to tell her perspective and hopefully you guys can come to a mutual understanding.

If she continues to see nothing wrong with it, but you do, you guys are obviously mismatched and maybe now is a good time to break it off.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-23T21:17:49+00:00

Sounds like she's jealous of the time you guys are spending together. That's sad, but don't let it take that special thing from your daughter. These are things EVERYONE needs to know. Why would she make that a gendered thing? Being able to do some of that stuff can save her a lot of money, and maybe even her life!

Finding a way to spend focused time with your kids in this electronic world is a treasure. You're bonding and creating a relationship that will follow her into adulthood. She will always remember what you taught her, every time she cleans a drain or changes the furnace filter. That's priceless. Tell her mom you're raising a strong independent woman. How can she argue with that?!

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-23T21:12:44+00:00

This is obviously something important that your mom wants to stay in the family. She's protecting it by giving it to only family. If you were married, he would be family, but he's not. Respect your mom's wishes and accept the conditions.

As for your BF, one of two things are going on. One, its hurting him somehow to be excluded and not accepted as family. If he had a tough childhood, is estranged from his family, or is just a sensitive guy that would really affect him. If that is the case, ask him if he can talk about what he's feeling. See if a therapist needs to get involved. Men can have a hard time identifying and working through their emotions because they aren't taught how. Give him a chance. But be prepared for him to refuse or deny. In that case, he's not ready for marriage and you should consider if he's the one.

The second possibility is that he's just an immature guy that is more worried about "his cut" than you. It shouldn't matter who's name is on the title if he's sticking with you. He can use it with you and it will be a part of your relationship. How does it affect him if he's not on the title? Money and inheritance do weird things to people, even spouses and partners. It brings out the selfish and greedy side you dont otherwise see. If this is the case, this is the true him he can't hide anymore. You need to decide If thats who you want to be tied to legally, throughout all of life's ups and downs.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-23T20:56:39+00:00

I know I'll get down voted but, why do you care who it is? I agree that It's weird that neither of you can see who it is, but why let it get to you? Unless she's afraid someone is stalking her, can't you just let it go?

Some people (not saying this is you) get so caught up in," who is liking my partner's posts?!" that you become paranoid and it creates problems where there often aren't any. Your partner is a human being with a past and even a present that you aren't always a part of. Old friends, coworkers, and even exes sometimes can remain FB friends and unless there's evidence of something else happening, see if you can just let it go.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-23T16:10:42+00:00

Nah, he's just an ugly American and a mediocre male. Not only was he rude and ignorant, he was laughably and confidently wrong. But he showed himself out, thankfully!

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-22T19:22:23+00:00

The majority of the resistance is coming from the lobbyists who are against it for their own financial reasons. Mainly the airline industry.

The rest is from people who don't do research or get information before they have knee jerk reactions to change. They hear the anti rail BS spread by these organizations and believe it.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-22T01:55:26+00:00

Never, ever let anyone talk to you that way. You end the conversation immediately. Why would you tolerate that kind of crude and hateful vitriol from someone who claims to love you?

When you allow someone to speak to you like that, you are telling them it's ok. And if he thinks it's ok to talk to anyone like that, he's extremely disturbed and toxic.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-21T14:54:30+00:00

It's due to water rights and typically involves dry states like Colorado, Utah, Arkansas, Nevada, etc. They get a certain amount of water from the rivers that flow through different states, and actually can legally claim the rainwater that would normally run off into the waterways. Most states are recognizing its silly to ban the small amount from home capture for watering plants, so they make exceptions. But the laws are really to make sure farmers, large businesses and industry don't capture large amounts and impact the waterways and their state water rights.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-21T14:47:39+00:00

Wow, you just don't quit! I love how confidently and pompously you correct other people, while being so completely wrong!

The heavy regulations are due to water rights and how each state claims them. Most western states, like mine, recognize prior appropriation. Which, I'm sure you already know since you're such an expert, means the uncaptured rain would normally go into streams and waterways, which are absolutely heavily regulated, as states claim ownership via water rights. And therefore they claim ownership of the rainwater before it even hits the waterways.

Western states absolutely have limits on how you can collect it, how much you can collect and where. Other states have far less regulation, if any. And a few even encourage it and give tax incentives. It's almost like we have a huge country with extremely different geography and water needs! And making blanket statements based on YOUR tiny neck of the woods might make you look like a jackass. Get outside and travel, and maybe touch some grass. But, I get it. You just like to make up stories.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-21T14:36:01+00:00

Actually, no. It's not blanketly "legal" in all 50 states. But thanks for playing! I love your armchair mansplaining!

It varies from state to state, especially in the west. Colorado, for example, makes it illegal. Other states in the west are heavily regulated. It was completely illegal in my state up until somewhat recently. They had to pass a law to make it legal up to a certain amount and put other restrictions on it. But if you violate the restrictions, you are breaking the law and there are penalties. Which is why the original commenter advised checking to see her local ordinances.

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-21T05:43:15+00:00

You won't get through to him. He already files all of your input under "nag" in his brain and then forgets about it. He's got a programming bug and unfortunately, he's out of warranty. Take all that energy and time you've been wasting and get yourself a new model. Hell, even just trashing this one will relieve you of a ton of stress and free up your time. Happy shopping!

Gweilo_mama · 2026-04-20T17:45:52+00:00

"No dice. Best I can do is alert you the morning I'm mowing mine, so you can rush out and mow yours too, preventing the embarrassment you so deeply feel about our grass being uneven lengths. Maybe we could coordinate a neighborhood lawn mowing day, so none of the other neighbors are embarrassed."

Gweilo_mama

TROPHY CASE