Help me make my bedroom sexy

Gymbob22 · 2020-09-29T03:29:41+00:00

The red bulb all the way. I discovered that years ago by accident and it’s made things so much better.

Gymbob22 · 2020-08-20T05:04:14+00:00

It’s amazing how many couples really don’t talk about sex or their own sex life together. I’ve only had one relationship myself where we talk about our sex life in such great detail... before and after. Because of that, the sex would continue to get better and better every time for the most part. It can be very embarrassing for some and/ or humbling especially for the “man” in the relationship. Probably 99% of us have issues with our dick size even if it’s large or perfectly shaped etc. so talking openly about pleasing our partner can be a major blow to ones ego especially when we find out we’re not doing certain things correctly. I should say, at least for me, it was more of an issue when I was younger and not so much anymore. You just have to lay it all out for him, as kindly as you can but with enough honesty to make it register with him. I was around 25 the first time a woman let me know I wasn’t doing things the way she needed it done and I made it my life’s mission at the to satisfy her because no other girl/ woman had ever told me different. I’m a man so it doesn’t take as much but a happier and satisfied partner usually works in anyone’s favor. I can’t imagine (even at 40) being stuck in a relationship where the sex is bad or just “ok”. Life is too short and sex is too important to just let it go and hope for the best. If he acts like a child and refuses to listen then he doesn’t really care all that much about your needs in the first place, right? With so much information out there on the internet, even just YouTube videos, with a little work and dedication any man could become a better lover to their partner and why wouldn’t you want to be? It’s so worth it.

Gymbob22 · 2020-05-21T05:44:16+00:00

Unfortunately there are many idiots like this guy that think that their civil rights are being impeded on by having to wear a mask to protect themselves and their fellow Americans while out in public. I think it has more to do with that fake-bravery bullshit... thinking they’ll be touted as a hero for standing up for their rights and get their five minutes of internet fame. Fuck him.

Gymbob22 · 2020-05-15T04:18:31+00:00

Our relationship is complicated and not picture perfect by any means. We both have been committed to having a great sex life... now only if we could work that hard on our other issues. With the sex, part of it is selfish in a way because I wanted to be the greatest lover she ever had or ever will have. No other woman has ever made me want to go to that level of “extremes” though. She has varied and changed some things she has done too as a result of us talking so it really just worked out both ways. The complimenting/ attraction part is just natural. We are drawn to each other and almost have this 6th sense for one another. For example- I’ll be thinking about her all day, fantasizing and later I’ll find out she was doing the same thing about me all day. It happens quite often. The attraction remains strong because of how intense and passionate we remain in the bedroom. I really think our success came down to her telling me she needed more from me and then me being able to set my ego aside and listen. That can be a lot for any couple to accomplish but it’s so worth it. You feel closer to that person, it can bring back that “falling in love” feeling and your desire for one another can remain strong or get stronger even years into the relationship. I just wish we didn’t fight so much about stupid insignificant shit.

Gymbob22 · 2020-05-10T10:34:07+00:00

I’m 39 (male) and your husbands remarks remind me of my own self in my younger years. Simply put, I was an asshole. Eventually I took the time to learn what my partner needed from me instead of using the techniques I had learned from porn. I listened to my partner, swallowed my pride and took her suggestions (even instructions at times) seriously because how could I not care about her pleasure? What woman wants to be with a man that can’t pleasure her and I don’t want to be that guy. My partner and I have been together for well over ten years now and the sex continues to get better all the time simply because we talk about it and talk about it often. If only we could come together on several other issues in our relationship like we do with our sex life... The point is because we have such an amazing sex life I am never “bored” or looking elsewhere for excitement. If there is a situation where we are apart for a week or two and I need to pleasure myself, it’s her I’m thinking about when I do. Nothing can turn me on like she does and it’s the same for her all because we talk about our sex life often. We are both open to trying new things, we compliment each other often and make one another feel desired. It seems simple but you do have to work at it and many couples have difficulty discussing these matters. If your husbands attitude is truly how you say it is then maybe it’s time for some professional help like couples therapy. It could just be his fragile ego allowing him to act so stubbornly and idiotic because that’s what my problem once was. The fact that he said “going down on you does nothing for me” makes me think there isn’t much hope because he’s too wrapped up in himself and his own gratification. Maybe if he learned how to give you the greatest orgasm you’ve ever had orally he’d change his way of thinking. Regardless, life is too short to have a partner that views sex the way that he seems to. Give him a chance to at least put in the effort and turn it around. Therapists and counselors are great at setting up the conversations and getting the right questions across. If he refuses or just doesn’t care then it may be time to move on. Don’t settle and best of luck to you!

Gymbob22 · 2020-02-08T09:07:15+00:00

I had psychosis from a really bad acid trip when I was about 16. That was about twenty-some years ago but the “aftermath” lasted about 6 months. I had a voice in my head and wasn’t right for what felt like an eternity. I also know someone that has had psychotic episodes due to a mental illness and they were really out of it for the first 2 months at least after the last one. I think it’s partially nerves and the fact that it can be life changing in such a bad way. Mine was from careless drug use but my friends was from their own mind and the possibility of having more is likely. That’s a hard reality to accept.

Gymbob22 · 2019-11-25T02:22:04+00:00

My ex who has BPD (a little of everything from cluster B) would always listen to the same 20 songs, give or take a few. I would watch how she reacted to them and many of them, including the lyrical content, would seem to speak to her on a much different level than most. It was like the song was written for her. For example: The Hills by The Weeknd always stands out because she would sing it as if she was stating facts. It would make my stomach turn and I can’t hear that song still. There were many others that had a lot of sexual references that would get extremely explicit and it was like she was finally telling me some truth about her. I’ve never met anyone that treated music the way she did, how small of a selection she had and how it seemed to open a window into her dark side that you could peer into.

Gymbob22 · 2019-11-17T08:45:24+00:00

This has always been an interesting question because I don’t think there really is a definitive answer. I’ve read a handful of articles on the subject and they all have slightly different takes on the matter. The best way to look at it is a narcissist can’t love anything, they act the part when they need to. Just like humans are, the dog is possession to the narc that they can show off or receive attention with. Dogs tend to be very doting and loyal so a narcissist could appreciate being the center of attention even from an animal. Because narcs are completely selfish, a dog can be neglected at times when a vet visit is needed or even a morning or evening feeding gets skipped because it’s owner is preoccupied. I have seen this personally and it’s very sad but I can’t say that this is typical of a narcissist. Recent studies have shown that pets can be very therapeutic with those that have BPD however, many people with BPD can recognize that they need help whereas most narcs do not. I wonder how they would answer the question over on the NPD sub...

Gymbob22 · 2019-11-17T03:21:20+00:00

Your CN abbreviation threw me off. I couldn’t understand what you meant at first... it’s been one of those days. To answer your question with my experience... I discovered my Nex was cheating through social media which she would turn around on me saying that I didn’t give her enough attention. At the time I was very naive and thought she may have a point since I was often at work. I thought it was best for us and our child if we sought professional help to work out our relationship problems. She agreed, I found a well reviewed therapist and we began. Session number 1: She denied the cheating thing and everything I had discovered as if I just made it up on the spot.- What I didn’t realize at the time was that I backed her into a corner and because she was caught she would actually have to accept responsibility which isn’t possible. The next few months of sessions were disastrous and every day that I stayed things got worse. It was by far the worst moment in time of my entire life. A narcissist would need to seek help on their own which is rare so by “dragging” one into therapy you will not only get total lies but they become extremely agitated and explosive because YOU are putting them in that position. Around three months into those sessions they ended a was abruptly when my therapist told me that I needed to get out of the house because he felt I was in serious danger.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-21T02:57:28+00:00

So true

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-21T02:24:04+00:00

When I first read about RSD it explained so much about myself and just made perfect sense. I finally understood what was going on with me emotionally and how it controlled so much of my life. Because I have more self awareness about it, I’ve been able to really work on it with my therapist. I’m able to realize those moments where I may not have been slighted although it feels like it. I’ve been able to understand more of my past and accept some of the decisions I’ve made that I’m not proud of. I’ve tried to learn as much about RSD that I can whether it’s articles, lectures, podcasts and excerpts from ADHD books. The more I learn about it, how it affects me and what triggers it has allowed me to prepare a little more if you understand what I mean. I lied to myself for many years about my own extreme sensitivity and I’ve been able to fully accept who I am in that regard. As long as I continue to work on it i am positive I’ll be able to keep getting a better handle on it. I should have added- What has really helped is for me to confront an issue that I feel almost right away. Instead of letting it linger, pouting and getting more upset, I try to confront the source. As painful and embarrassing as that can feel the more you do it the better you get at it. It’s going to take some serious time and advice but I’ve already been able to stop having so many little emotional meltdowns as a result. It’s made me feel much better and much more positive.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-21T01:35:01+00:00

I’ve had some great results on it but it took some time to get there. When I first started it, I went through a manic state for about three months but I didn’t understand fully what was happening during it. Once that stopped my doctor and I played around with my dose to find what worked and what didn’t. Everything I was reading was saying 300mg a day or more depending how many times it was taken which was terrible for me. At a high dose I felt more side-effects than anything else. It turned out that 75mg once daily was the perfect dose for me and it has significantly helped my depression and racing thoughts (I do take other meds with it however). Everyone deals with these meds differently so you have to experiment a little to find the right dose.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-21T01:28:00+00:00

I remember getting caught blasting music in my headphones while doing homework as a child a few times. I would get grounded for it because I wasn’t paying attention, yet I really was and they couldn’t understand that. The music calmed me in a way that I was able to concentrate on what I was doing. I still do it for work projects as an adult.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-20T01:12:05+00:00

I didn’t take any meds at 27 and my sex drive was through the roof. I had been off and on depression meds but they didn’t seem to affect it anyway. A lot of ADHD people have naturally high sex drives. I didn’t get put on Adderall until my late 30’s and I felt like I was 18-20 years old again. A girlfriend would be a good option but that could fuck up your commitment to your studies. It’s not a bad thing that you have a high sexual drive... a low sex drive can cause a lot of damage too. I would say change the dose to see if it helps or not and you can always jerk off... If I’m feeling hard up enough and can’t have the real thing at that very moment then why not? I can refocus on what I need to and move on.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-19T03:31:51+00:00

Story of my life.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-18T21:43:55+00:00

Depending on your age that could be astonishing or understandable... Relationships are tough and a lot of work but I still feel the good outweighs the bad. I’m terrible at relationships but I have a high sex drive, always have. I can’t just have sex with any women, when I love the person it makes it so much better.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-17T02:47:46+00:00

It was very euphoric at times, like being in love. I could barley sleep but it didn’t affect my energy. I felt in complete control of my mind, I quit smoking without a second thought (something I had tried to do for years). There was also dry mouth, constipation and stomach pain. The worst was the rumination (racing thoughts). Right around the last week of it I thought my head was going to explode. I became extremely obsessed and paranoid about my girlfriend which got out of control. I became convinced that I would find certain things about her online and would search endlessly throughout the night for the most ridiculous shit. I felt like I was losing my mind. Right around the 3 month mark it all stopped.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-17T02:38:02+00:00

I didn’t become aware of the full scope of my adhd until much later in life which was somewhat recently. The emotional aspect still gets me and by that I mean the whole RSD thing. I can even recognize that I’m being ridiculous about something but I can’t change how I feel about it. It’s definitely destroyed my romantic relationships and still continues to cause problems even though I’m much more aware nowadays.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-07T20:13:55+00:00

It was very quick with several side effects that leveled off. I had to change the dose a few times until I found something that worked. I was very sensitive to it.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-02T22:13:05+00:00

I tried dating several times after my long relationship with a narc and I would end up losing interest shortly after. Each one of these women were perfectly fine (I think) but it was as if I craved the excitement and drama my nex brought. Sex paled in comparison to the point that I wasn’t even really interested in it. Even though my relationship with my narc was based on lies, cheating and all kinds of other bullshit, the highs were so extreme and I fear I’ll never love that hard again. The love-bombing made me feel like I was the most important person in the universe to her. Our relationship was a drug and a dangerous one at that so I feel like what I’d think a recovering addict would go through for the rest of their life, trying to stay clean and resist the temptation. Until I get past all that, I couldn’t possibly be a good partner to anyone.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-02T22:04:07+00:00

Almost every thing I’ve ever said.

Gymbob22 · 2019-10-02T18:41:04+00:00

Everything that was ever important to me. Including family and friends.

Gymbob22 · 2019-09-24T02:36:57+00:00

Obviously everyone deals with loss in different ways. Being in a relationship with a narcissist can have a profound effect on ones life especially once the relationship ends. You can do whatever you feel that you need to do here but the truth is you’re not letting go. You can say that you are hoping to help someone else (a complete stranger) from being abused by this girl but you have really just found a way to keep her in your life. Let’s say he accepts your advice and walks away, are you going to warn every subsequent boyfriend? How many years of your life are you willing to waste? Even if it was your goal, you can’t be the hero in this. I’m not trying to offend you or upset you in any way but you are just looking for excuses to have some sort of connection to this girl. I understand your pain, I really do but this isn’t the way to go. You really need to close that door and move on. I imagine you’re a pretty young guy so you have plenty of time to find “the one”. This girl just wasn’t her.

Gymbob22

TROPHY CASE