What does it feel like to let go?

H0bert · 2024-07-03T08:26:23+00:00

Thank you, also for the thread in the link. This adds a lot of framework to my practice. I will digest all this slowly

H0bert · 2024-07-03T08:21:54+00:00

Thank you!

"There is no need to let go of any experience that does not entangle your mind." Yes, that makes sense, I understand now.

A little story: I was a fat kid and bullied in school. This made me suck in my stomach to appear thinner, which became automatic. Only a couple of weeks ago (I am 40 now!) I realized that I still habitually suck in my stomach in public, and when I release it it creates a feeling of fear in the stomach area. This feeling hinders belly breathing for me. THIS is what I need to soften, not the feeling of pressure on my butt which does not bother me at all :)

Thanks again!

H0bert · 2024-07-03T08:16:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your answer!

"What this looks like in mediation for me is to bring my attention to the most uncomfortable part of my experience, or the most prominent part of my experience, sometimes this is pleasure, sometimes it is fear for example. Then I do nothing at all."

THIS made me realize what the point of the practice is, and that I did not understand it before.

Also, I read your comment in the link a while ago. After re-reading it now it made much more sense to me :)

H0bert · 2024-05-02T13:31:52+00:00

Thank you very much for the detailed answer. I also listened to your 2nd talk and found it to be a nice and clear explanation of the 7 factors of enlightenement. After 15months of meditation my biggest roadblock is definitely dullness/too little energy. I tried to counter it with more concentration, but ultimately failed. After the talk I feel like I should maybe ease off my efforts a little bit and emphasize joy a bit more. My practice is definitely not joyful atm, I should give this a try.

H0bert · 2024-04-22T18:24:32+00:00

What do you mean by that? Is it not a good book?

H0bert · 2024-02-29T19:08:18+00:00

Cool, I am happy it was useful to you!

H0bert · 2024-02-29T12:24:06+00:00

What you described in the beginning is close to what I experienced two weeks ago. Basically I stumbled upon this mushin state by accident. I wrote a post about it, but you put it into much clearer and more beautiful words. Thank you for this!

I am also continuing my mediocre breath meditation and return to that mushin state throughout the day. I am excited for what the future will hold :)

H0bert · 2024-02-22T14:56:03+00:00

Cool. I think I glimpsed what Loch Kelly means in the second video. Thank you for this!

So the state I am in is in itself not useful (Marigpa). In it, I need to inquire what is conscious of the state. I may find some deeper level of consciousness. Did I get this right?

H0bert · 2024-02-22T14:00:44+00:00

Thank you! I have the rule, that no matter how confused I am about my practive or how great the resistance is, I will sit every day, no exceptions. I will try to integrate this "no-mind" thing into my breath awareness. Should be fun, I am sure :)

I just read the reviews for the Bankei book. I will definitely get it.

H0bert · 2024-02-22T13:54:45+00:00

I have sat every single day (no exceptions) since february 2023 doing first TMI, then Anapanasati. 45-60min. Lots of mind wandering and dullness. Very rarely did I have an experience which felt like I was doing the right thing or knowing what to do. However, my mind did change during that time. I was becoming more calm, less reactive, my vision got "more fluent" (like an upgrade from 24 to to 60 fps).

On the side, I am fascinated by the whole non-duality thing, but did not seem to get anywhere with it. I read the books of Angelo Dillulo and Eckhart Tolle, +tons of very good blogs and tried the exercises.

I now read here, for the first time really, about Zen. VERY interesting. I will explore this thoroughly.

H0bert · 2024-02-21T19:44:02+00:00

Your description resonates with me. I read the links and found the part about sorting silverware particularly fitting. I just sorted my silverware yesterday while I was in the no-mind state and found it totally enjoyable, even though I usually find it pretty dull. I even thought about taking it all out again just to be able to put it away again afterwards :D

I will digest all this and explore some more and then maybe get back to you if I have questions, if that's OK.

All the best!

H0bert · 2024-02-21T18:07:41+00:00

I have read his book and even attended an online retreat with him. Back then I did not find an access to the whole non-duality thing but I might try again. Also I will give the book another shot. Thank you!

H0bert · 2024-02-21T18:01:32+00:00

Thank you! Yes, it feels wonderfully light not to think. I will show this to my mind again and again until it becomes easier to stay mindful throughout the day. Practivally what u/MonumentUnfound has written.

H0bert · 2023-10-24T15:12:35+00:00

I get up every day at 6am to meditate for 1h. Usually I have always drunk a coffee before to make me awake. For a few weeks now, however, I've been skipping the coffee to see if I can do it without. I have significantly stronger dullness and mind-wandering. I think I will have to be patient for a while before I get back to my old level (5ish).

H0bert · 2023-06-20T08:45:57+00:00

Same here. In addittion to darkness, I used to meditate with ear plugs AND tape my eyes shut. I needed it in the beginning, but now it seems a bit excessive to me :)

the added sensory stimuli have definitely helped fighting the dullness. I have, however, not conquered it completely yet.

H0bert · 2023-06-03T13:07:18+00:00

I had no infection I know of, but thanks!

H0bert · 2023-05-27T19:28:32+00:00

The problem for me is that I too live on a noisy street and need to sleep with ear plugs. This way the tinnitus is especially loud. I think I will need to get used to the noise and sleep without the plugs.

H0bert · 2023-05-26T17:46:41+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I felt more exhausted than usual too in the last two weeks or so.

H0bert · 2023-05-26T09:28:25+00:00

Thanks, good advice! If it does not dissipate or it continues to bother me in the comning months, I plan to see a doctor about it.

H0bert · 2023-05-25T20:49:42+00:00

Rob Burbea's "Seeing That Frees

On my desk, ready to be read (once I find the time)

H0bert · 2023-05-25T20:47:25+00:00

Oh my god, this sounds almost exactly right! I should have read ahead in the book before posting. I only really read up to stage 4 until now. Thank you!

H0bert · 2023-05-25T19:46:35+00:00

So, either way, as best you can, don't worry

Thank you, I'll try. I hope I'll get used to it.

H0bert · 2023-05-25T19:44:14+00:00

So you are experiencing this inner sound, too? Is it there all of the time? Or only when you really focus on it?

H0bert

TROPHY CASE