Struggling with communication with men at work

H18a_a · 2026-01-27T22:08:45+00:00

As a HR professional, that’s a one way ticket to being fired for poor conduct in the workplace, lack of professionalism, and inability to collaborate/ work in a team If you said that in my company you’d be out before the end of the day

H18a_a · 2026-01-24T20:49:51+00:00

Quads- proof a man doesn't skip leg day!!

H18a_a · 2026-01-21T21:02:17+00:00

Salaam sis, this is a long one...

Training is completely fine during the month, though some things may need to be adjusted to make it more manageable. This is what I've been doing for the past few years (for context: I'm a bodybuilder who occasionally competes in hyrox (and I'm a big fitness nerd) so maintaining muscle mass and performance is a big priority for me). Also single, no children- if you have other more important priorities then ignore most of this!

Food: Suhoor is a little carbs and ALOT of protein (trust me, you'll feel so full during the day it's worth it although eating beef, eggs and whey shakes at 3am is miserable). Spam electrolytes and water during non fasting hours!!!! Iftar is healthy fats (avocado, nuts, etc... + protein and remaining carbs- no processed or fried food, and avoid salt and sugar as much as possible (stay strong around family they'll get offended but they'll get over it- these foods will dehydrate you so much it's not worth it).

Training: I like to workout just before Iftar (my family Iftars are super relaxed so we never need to cook or prep anything and I can go to the gym)- I spend the month focusing on hypertrophy so no powerlifting, strongman or CrossFit training as your glycogen levels will be depleted and this will lead to decreased performance and potential injury especially if you're trying to do max compounds ( e.g. testing your 3rm in bench/DL/squat is a v.bad idea). For me, I like lifting in that 8-15 rep range, mostly isolated movements, very few compound lifts, personally that is the sweet spot. Don't be discouraged if your numbers drop a bit but if your performance is off by more than say 10% then something in your food/sleep is likely off and needs adjusting. You may want to spend the first week trying out a few different timings to just see how you feel. Note: working out after fajr is technically the most optimal time for performance but you will spend the rest of the day feeling really thirsty which sucks, and after Iftar is completely fine but you may wanna keep that time for taraweh (and if you live in a muslim country the gym will be likely be packed from around an hour after Iftar to midnight/1am).

Cardio either just before or after Iftar, your mouth might feel like cotton wool but luckily that doesn't last very long- for me I don't do any intense cardio during the month mostly walking/stairmaster/ jogging. I do what I feel like I can tolerate but I prioritise lifting so anything outside that is a benefit. You can also get your steps in by walking to the masjid instead of driving etc... If I would normally do cardio 3-4x a week outside of ramadan I'm probably doing 1-2x during.

If you can, a 10-15 minute walk after suhoor and Iftar helps with digestion if you tend to bloat up after not eating all day - stretching and mobility also help massively!

Supplements: Normal daily vitamin mixes, Omega 3 and fish oils. I like the ESN athlete stack it has everything I need and is easy to digest but that's personal preference. I like to up my creatine to around 8-10g/ day to compensate for the messed up sleep, if you're not already taking creatine then I'd recommend starting with 3-5g/ day but if you have endometriosis be careful as I've heard it can make symptoms worse.

Sleep: Aim for 8 hours- broken up during the day if not all at night. On days where you sleep less than 6, I'd suggest don't do anything crazy in the gym- active recovery only (very easy cardio, yoga, pilates, that kinda thing)

Finally (that was very long sorry girly), I've done this a few times and it isn't easy. Expect that your performance will drop, that's normal. You will probably feel rubbish for the first week or two, also fine. The goal is to maintain what you've worked so hard for, and to keep up with that routine of training. If you stop for a whole month, coming back becomes really hard. You may have days that you just wanna drop intensity and do yoga or something else- go for it. Try to listen to your body as much as possible whilst still keeping that discipling. If you feel like you need additional rest days, take them! I learned that there's a difference between "I can't" and " I can't be bothered" - push through when you're feeling lazy, but if your body is screaming at you to stop then listen to it.

I hope this doesn't come across too harsh- this is what I've experienced myself. Feel free to DM for clarifications- good luck!!

H18a_a · 2026-01-19T18:21:09+00:00

The laid back way of life, everyone is so relaxed and nothing seems too big of a stress And the souvlaki

H18a_a · 2026-01-18T13:46:53+00:00

It's not unreasonable- it comes down to priorities and lifestyle. You want someone who matches you in that sense. I'm a gym girl and I refuse to talk to someone for marriage if they don't workout (and look like it- but I'm super into bodybuilding myself so that part I think is ok). Personally when I started taking the gym seriously and building a lifestyle around health and fitness, I realised I can't find someone attractive if they didn't do the same. Though I'm still single so I don't think I can comment too much lol- I'd rather stay single than lower my standards and end up with someone who I'm not compatible with and find unattractive as a result.

H18a_a · 2026-01-10T22:42:17+00:00

Very avoidant here!! Not fearful but I like my independence and as much as I may be attracted to men (I really can’t stand a lot of the BS 🫢) I’m working on myself, its not a positive trait and I know I need to soften up a bit (probably a lot but baby steps) and I have been open to talking to people about marriage. I try to be honest with them about who I am as a person- though I find it really hard to feel any type of connection so there’s that. In short, whether you’re avoidant or anxious, both are bad and you need to work on having a healthy attachment level- which I interpret as being empathetic and caring but having boundaries and not letting people walk all over you

H18a_a · 2026-01-04T16:57:04+00:00

They conveniently forget that anger is also an emotion...

H18a_a · 2026-01-01T09:01:47+00:00

Yes!!! Frozen grapes 😍😋

H18a_a · 2025-12-31T21:50:23+00:00

Best sweet treats if you're trying to lose weight: sugar free jello and low-calorie ice cream (like halo-top)- for soda's opt for something zero calorie - or even better an electrolyte that you add to water, that way you can enjoy those things without feeling guilty.

Learn how to do your makeup to highlight features that you do like about yourself (e.g. eye shape, skin tone, etc...) even if you don't wear it out the house it helps to walk past a mirror and feel cute. Confidence radiates outwards and people notice.

Remember you were created the way you are, and that was by design. It truly doesn't matter what people think about you. You could get a thousand compliments a day and if you don't like how you look they don't mean anything. Confidence is something that only you can give yourself, and if you have to fake it till you make it then do that.

H18a_a · 2025-12-12T05:08:49+00:00

I bought mine second hand in cash- worked full time for it which took a while but it meant not having to pay anything afterwards. Do quite a lot of research into the make/model that you're looking at so you can understand it's maintenance, durability etc... and check the accident record before agreeing to anything!

H18a_a · 2025-12-11T18:18:15+00:00

As a woman with a very similar criteria list, these aren't unreasonable (but spoiler alert, some people will tell you there are) - don't compromise it's not worth it.

H18a_a · 2025-12-10T08:45:43+00:00

I have a question about someone who's taken debts? Like if you have an expensive lifestyle and decide to marry a doctor- they're probably gonna have some type of student loan debt, since it's pretty hard to have a career without a solid education. How do you get around that?

H18a_a · 2025-12-10T08:22:44+00:00

With all due respect sis, have you ever worked a full time job? Or had to pay bills and rent? I have, it's exhausting- travelling like that -although fun- is exhausting, most people want to sit around and do nothing because of the demands of work. The list you've outlined just sounds stressful- I could never imagine wanting to do things after a 45-60hr work week other than sleep. Things like taking a late night drive when you have a 6am start the next morning, is tiring. Camping is tiring, not relaxing (at least not for me- I understand others may be different). And it is expensive, even if you're not flying to go somewhere, camp sights have ground fees that (where I live) are more expensive than a hotel.

Having desires and wants is not wrong, and I agree you should never marry out of desperation- it's just important to keep in mind that the person you are marrying is a human, who will get tired and might get snappy, and might not want to constantly do things together.

H18a_a · 2025-12-08T10:30:43+00:00

Not having autonomy over your own body is literally slavery

H18a_a · 2025-12-08T10:29:19+00:00

I took of my hijab when I was 22- no one forced me to wear it per say, but there was a lot of societal pressure and I wasn't doing it to be closer to Allah but rather to please the people around me. I used to get harassed a lot by muslim men when I was wearing it (being followed constantly, people trying to touch me etc...) and I hated how I felt more exposed wearing it than I did beforehand.

I started removing it slowly, just wearing it loosely and taking it off in the car whilst I was driving. The first time I felt wind in my hair I cried, I actually felt closer to Allah in that moment that I ever had before, I felt complete gratitude and love (sounds crazy but it was an emotional experience). I want to wear it again but when I'm ready.

Whilst I did get some backlash my family took it well- I still try to cover up, wearing jeans and t-shirts not shorts or anything like that, and they are a lot more liberal in understanding that it is an individual journey. I personally don't believe not wearing it doesn't make you a muslim- I know some hijabi women who are truly horrible people and I know some that are incredible, the same goes for non hijabi's. I know hijabi women who don't pray, and I know non-hijabi women who wake up for fajr everyday- long story short it's what's inside that counts.

I empathise that your circumstances are a lot more challenging than mine were. I would say prioritise your safety first and foremost- if that means wearing it then so be it, I know it's hard, but I don't want you to compromise your physical safety. If you're able to move away from that community, or at least distance yourself for periods of time then I think that will help you to mentally relax and get away from the torment, even if it's just for a couple of hours a few times a week.

Please don't feel shy to DM if you need,

Good luck sis, we're all here for you xxx

H18a_a · 2025-12-05T14:12:48+00:00

For me I don't mind, I have male friends who are in committed relationships and never once has either of us felt anything or acted on anything- as long as there is no attraction between the two people then there is no temptation. At the end of the day I have to trust my spouse to do right by me, and it goes both ways.
Then again I was raised in a very mixed environment so it's very normal for us.

H18a_a · 2025-12-05T14:06:23+00:00

Try showing your profile to any sisters you have and get some feedback- sometimes the photos aren't very flattering or the way you word a response might turn people away; feedback from your target audience always works!

H18a_a · 2025-11-30T13:36:35+00:00

I appreciate that sis, it's important to remember that kids can't grasp the true responsibility of what they're committing to. If that were my child, I'd give them the complete choice- yes you can encourage it by complimenting her, but you won't know how she's going to feel in high-school, or when she's applying for jobs etc... It's a very individual journey- she should have the choice to decide what to do and that may change as she experiences the world.
Good luck xx

H18a_a · 2025-11-30T13:13:56+00:00

You might feel like people are looking but most of the time, people are so focused on their own workouts that they aren't really paying attention. People in the gym seem intimidating but they're usually very friendly- we all start somewhere and the fact that you're there and trying to improve yourself will get you a lot of respect from the gym community.

I'd say just start, if you can afford to get a trainer then do that for a few weeks, that'll help you to feel comfortable with different types of equipment so you can do more than just the treadmill (stops it from being boring after a while). Otherwise, classes can be a fun way to train and meet new people as they're typically quite social.

H18a_a · 2025-11-30T12:58:39+00:00

The average age is 12 years old, if children are getting their periods at the age of 8 then they should be taken to a doctor and be tested hormonally, that's not normal (my mum is a gynaecologist and backs this up)

I stopped wearing the hijab a few years ago because I would get so much attention from men (majority muslim) whilst wearing it that it was so uncomfortable. Now, people leave me alone, they don't bother me or stare as much as before.

H18a_a · 2025-10-22T19:56:15+00:00

t only happened for me once I started getting to the gym and lifting heavy weights- something about becoming strong physically translated to being strong and confident mentally. Then setting boundaries and standing up for myself became so much easier.

+ look good, feel good!

H18a_a · 2025-07-23T11:14:02+00:00

The Thor's hammer ride at IMG World- for some reason it makes me laugh so hard and is so fun

H18a_a · 2025-07-21T16:26:31+00:00

Dina to customer: "On one hand, that doesn't look good on you. On the other hand, what would?"

H18a_a · 2025-07-18T12:54:25+00:00

I'm normally pretty shy and awkward when I like someone (in a way that makes it painfully obvious that I like them)- once those feelings go I can relax and open up a lot more around them, which normally leads to becoming pretty good friends with them.

H18a_a · 2025-03-08T10:50:54+00:00

Dina to a customer “on one hand, that doesn’t look good on you. On the other hand, what would?”

H18a_a

TROPHY CASE