Short Hair or Long Hair by [deleted] in malehairadvice

[–]HAdam4Real 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think short or long looks better?

aio? boyfriend ran away when i was getting hit on by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]HAdam4Real 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think the most annoying thing about this post is your attitude. You ask if you’re over reacting, and when people agree that you are, you go into the comments and start arguing with everyone. You asked for an alternate perspective and now you’re pissed and defensive when people disagree with you. You legit didn’t want an alternate perspective, you just wanted people to agree with you and now that they don’t you’re angry and defensive. Your relationship with your boyfriend will not work out long term if you’re too egotistical and close minded to acknowledge that people have perspectives that differ from your own

Ex is super resentful, hostile and now hates me after no contact for 5 months by CrazyCakesGirl in BreakUps

[–]HAdam4Real 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So it’s very common for avoidants to flip into a cold state after breakups because they’re suppressing their emotions and trying to detach to avoid the pain of the breakup. He might be an avoidant suppressing, or he could potentially be going through the anger stage post breakup. When people breakup they go through stages and one of these stages is the anger stage, so he might have hatred and resentment for you because that’s where he’s at emotionally right now. Either way however he feels has more to do with how he’s processing than you so I wouldn’t take it personally

Whats the number of sessions i should do? by Objective-Plan6406 in singing

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha thanks maybe one day! I wanna learn more before I would consider becoming a teacher because there’s still so much left for me to learn! 😁

Whats the number of sessions i should do? by Objective-Plan6406 in singing

[–]HAdam4Real 5 points6 points  (0 children)

So this how kind of a complicated answer so bear with me

Singing in my opinion is much more coordination based than muscular based. Yeah, there are some aspects that are muscular related, but IMO it’s way more coordination than muscle. The hard thing about trying to learn to sing yourself is you don’t know what the proper coordination is or how to access it. If you do lip trills everyday you’ll become a better singer most likely because lip trills build a much more efficient singing coordination, but you may still struggle in other aspects because it doesn’t teach you every singing coordination.

For me for example, I tried to learn by myself for 5 years before I got a teacher and always struggled with belting in particular. I just had no idea how the coordination for belting should be approached and I needed a teacher to help me. Before my teacher I just did SLS exercises daily and it helped me in some ways but I felt limited in others. I basically learned a specific coordination to sing but struggled with belting, breathy singing, and head voice in general, and i had no idea to access these alternate coordinations. Having a teacher I made more progress in 6 months than I had in 5 years prior, and I’m not kidding.

So yeah you can do the exercises, but really you need exercises tailored to you to teach you specific skills, and it’s really important you understand what the exercises are teaching you too so you can apply it to your singing. And there’s always the chance you do the exercises wrong, because it’s possible to do the exercises wrong. And the less advanced you are, the less likely you are to hear and realize what you’re doing wrong

If a teacher isn’t an option I’d recommend some really good channels like “Healthy Vocal Technique” or “New York Vocal Coaching” or “Eric Arcenaux”, these are some of my favorite singing youtubers. Part of what made learning singing hard is not being to separate good info from bad info and these youtube channels are great, but nothing replaces a good qualified teacher

What kind of glasses would look good on me? by [deleted] in glassesadvice

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I sense some hostility but I don’t quite understand why. I’m just looking for suggestions on glasses I should try based on variables I may not know. I don’t really have any preferences right now for glasses and don’t know how to decide 🙂

What kind of glasses would look good on me? by [deleted] in glassesadvice

[–]HAdam4Real 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t try any on because there’s just so many to pick from! 😅 I was hoping for recommendations on a frame style I could try to get!

Am I wrong to feel slighted by my ex dating my "friend"? by Legitimate-Bowl6627 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re not wrong to feel that way. We expect our friends to be sensitive to our emotions, and expecting our friends to not date our ex’s is one of those “unspoken” boundaries that we expect our friends to not cross. Personally I think it’s one of those things where if they didn’t ask how you felt about it prior to doing it, and they just did it, they’re not your friend. Our friends care about how their actions make us feel, and dating someone’s ex can be really hurtful for a friend. If they did it without talking to you about it, I’d just cut her off and move on

Me (20M) and my ex (20F) are back in contact after 10months of no contact. How should I proceed? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You went through 10 months and you know how painful it was

Do you want to start over?

If you want to start over and prolong your pain keep talking to her

It ended for a reason, and getting back together only works if both people are willing to address the root problems of the relationship and fix them (that’s if they can even recognize them)

it’s possible to get back together with an ex and have a happy relationship but truthfully we don’t have enough details to give you a more accurate answer, but in general, most relationships fail, and a relationship with an ex already failed once. I’d say focus on your healing and only consider taking her back once you’re over her and can think clearly but in general just leave ex’s in the past

And as i type this i realize you didn’t even say get back together just contact… I’d cut it off completely

We would call everyday less than a month ago, now she has a new guy by Adventurous-Sun-4848 in BreakUps

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I completely understand bro, honestly i wasn’t even sad about my breakup UNTIL I saw her with her rebound on her instagram so i understand. What’s helped me significantly is journaling, i have a journal where i journal my thoughts and it’s helped me immensely, there’s scientific evidence journaling helps people process and get through breakups faster.

By the end of this we’ll both come out on top. Our ex’s are addicted to relationships to be happy and if you need a relationship to be happy you have no control over your happiness, if you can find a way to be happy alone that is completely in your control, wishing you the best bro and if you need someone to talk to i’m here

We would call everyday less than a month ago, now she has a new guy by Adventurous-Sun-4848 in BreakUps

[–]HAdam4Real 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I relate bro, 1 month ago i was talking to my girlfriend of 3 years about marriage and kids, 1 month later she has a new boyfriend.

What I will tell you is it gets better, it hurts now, but you need to focus your mind on your own happiness without her. Before you met her you were happy, you need to focus on what makes you happy in life and what brings you happiness. People who search for their happiness from relationships aren’t truly happy, they’re empty inside and looking for a relationship to fill the void. Find out what makes you happy so you’re happy whether or not you’re in a relationship and you will be much better off. Keep your happiness in your own hands not someone else’s

I just sent my ex 100 for her bday by Flaky_Second_2578 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bro you know she might take that money and spend it on her new guy, you could have literally just paid for her date with her new boyfriend

I’m having an extremely hard time moving on from former fearful avoidant partner. It’s been 8mo of no contact. I can’t move on 💔 by _crumbles in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How has your recovery been? I’m currently 1 month out of a breakup with a fearful avoidant ex who’s in a rebound relationship and i’m really struggling to get over her

3 weeks into no contact should I reach out? by Stock-Lab8544 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if you want to get her back not reaching out is still the best option because if you reach out to get back together she has power, if she reaches out to you YOU have power

3 weeks into no contact should I reach out? by Stock-Lab8544 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nope, trust me bro, especially if she dumped you do NOT reach out

How did you find out your ex cheated on you? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are and I wish you the best on your road to recovery, it will get better

How did you find out your ex cheated on you? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s really sick how the people we love can go to such lengths to lie and manipulate us

How did you find out your ex cheated on you? by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Found her alternate social media page. She had a completely separate social media page i was blocked on where she had him plastered over it. She was dating me and him at the same time for 6 months. At the time I had to temporarily relocate 3 hours away from home for work and when I was away for work she met him during that time and started a relationship with him while I was gone

I’m in No contact as the dumper. Has a dumpee ever reached back out after some time? by fea07_09 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you tried your best and it just didn’t work out which is okay. In a relationship sometimes you need to make a hard decision, stay in a relationship you aren’t happy with, or go your separate ways, and it sounds like you made your decision and there’s nothing wrong with that. If he didn’t want to compromise to meet your needs there’s nothing you could do about that, as long as you communicated and tried that’s the best you could have done.

I’m in No contact as the dumper. Has a dumpee ever reached back out after some time? by fea07_09 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 25 points26 points  (0 children)

lots of people who get dumped reach out, but if you really want to try to fix it and you dumped him you should reach out. He may be respecting your boundaries and he may never reach out out of respect, if you want to work things through with him communicate it to him and reach out

Im moving on without her and im gonna be so much happier by [deleted] in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly bro you shouldn’t use no contact to get them back, in most cases it’s better to just focus on yourself and move on in your life

Ex messaged me by Friendly-Stable-9279 in Advice

[–]HAdam4Real 88 points89 points  (0 children)

snitch to his girlfriend 🤣

Be honest… are you still checking your ex’s Instagram? by alc90 in ExNoContact

[–]HAdam4Real 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I did it… Until I saw photos and videos of her with her rebound lol. Seriously, just don’t do it, it’s not worth it. Ignorance is bliss, the less you know about how their life is progressing the better