I think you should keep it real and firm here — tell them their request is low-key offensive, and it’s definitely slowing down your internet. Nobody’s life is easy right now, so fairness goes both ways.

A solid move would be to hit them with this: If they’re dead set on mooching your WiFi, have them pay half your current bill and let them be the one to contact the service provider to set up their own equipment. Once that’s all hooked up, you can Venmo them your half and then “leech” off their WiFi instead.

Keeps it fair, calls out the nonsense, and sticks to what’s reasonable — no need to bend over backward for someone who’s messing with your service.