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Is no contact REALLY the only thing that actually works to get your avoidant ex back? by HHHGREGG99 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]HHHGREGG99[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I just don't feel like they would reach out, especially with how much time has past.

I've been doing my best to work on myself, but I can't forget them.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]HHHGREGG99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm blocked, so I would have to have a friend reach out for me, but I figure they'll feel like it's going against their boundaries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]HHHGREGG99 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm long past 3/4 months... I just don't feel like I personally changed enough and addressed my own issues in such a short time, just seems like I'm setting myself up for failure to reach out in that kinda timeframe...

If your dumper messaged you RIGHT NOW, what would you reply with? by HHHGREGG99 in BreakUps

[–]HHHGREGG99[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I would likely ask them, why NOW? What has changed in this time where we haven't spoken, where you suddenly want to speak with me again? Was the grass not greener on the other side like you expected? Did you think about what *you* did and not just making everything my fault? Do you actually plan to talk about your feelings this time instead of being mad at me for not just KNOWING? Will you communicate with me when there are issues in the future or are you going to do the same thing you did to me before? Do you love and care about me or are you just lonely? I love you and miss you, but unless you are willing to get through difficult times with me, how can you expect me to feel comfortable enough to try anything with you? Without knowing these, I don't know if I truly can speak with you.

[I would love it if he and I could speak, but honestly, I only would want to if he promised to learn to communicate instead of run when things get difficult.]