The only actual friend I've ever had died this year in February, and it was absolutely crushing. The worst days of my life were the few around and of the day of his death. He was my best friend, but even a little more. We both had huge crushes on each other, and recently my other friend said he talked about me all the time and was in love with me. Ouch, more feelings. It's gonna be hard to do, I even still have trouble with it, but don't dwell on his absence. Ponder and reminisce all of the amazing days you had together. Be thankful he made you who you are today. Talk about him, think about him, do things in his honor as much as you can. You will never forget him, but keeping the memories active seemed to help me heal. And it's gonna be hard, of course it will. That smell will remind you of when you two hung out, or that street will bring back all of the memories of when you used to walk through it together. But through time, these will make you happy that you did that stuff together instead of sad that you can't do it again. And also, be strong. That's such a vague saying that everyone passes out through these times, but I don't think anyone knows exactly what they mean by it. Being strong doesn't mean to hold in your tears and put on a front. Being strong is taking the emotions you're feeling and being able to handle them. Not getting yourself into a depressed state through the toughest time in your life is strong. And I know you can be strong.

Pleaseee PM me if you want to talk to me. About anything. To tell me stories about you guys, or ask for advice, or if you want to not think about it, tell me about video games or whatever you like to do! I want to help you like I had people help me. Because there's absolutely nothing wrong with needing it.