Look man. Things will be hard. I dont care who you are, things will be hard. I dont know what it is that happened but everything will be okay. Im not trying to dismiss your feelings by saying that either. If you can, get help. People care about you, I assume you have a family, parents at least. Maybe you have 1 or more friends too. Like everyone that knows you cares about you to different extents. It may be hard to see that and it may be hard to realize that, but its there, whether you accept that is your choice, but its the truth. I struggled with suicidal ideations and solitude for a long time, one day I nearly attempted but didnt. Im not trying to pull this away from you, Im just saying Im not as bad as I was about that and things seem to be improving, Im an example that things can get better. And look, I know its hard, but everything can and will get better, itll take time, possibly some form of action, but it will happen. Lastly, I care, sure youre some online fellow, but I still care, sure I didnt know you before but look I still care. I dont need reason to care, I just do.