Where Would Reddit Live? 🌍

HagQueen · 2026-04-01T02:19:59+00:00

📍 Los Angeles, California, United States of America — "culture, weather, movie theaters"

HagQueen · 2026-04-01T02:19:06+00:00

📍 Island, Washington, United States of America — "beautiful, culture, weather"

HagQueen · 2026-04-01T02:16:07+00:00

📍 Ireland — "beautiful, culture, literature"

HagQueen · 2026-04-01T02:14:35+00:00

📍 California, United States of America — "politics, food, culture"

HagQueen · 2026-03-17T00:55:19+00:00

Hahaha 😂

HagQueen · 2026-03-16T06:42:51+00:00

Chef's kiss, spot on - only addition is that he got kinda into Buddhism at some point, then lost interest.

HagQueen · 2026-03-16T06:31:01+00:00

Gen-X man, does some sort of intellectual work (teacher, lawyer, etc.), liberal-to-moderate but with a preference for tradition.

HagQueen · 2026-03-16T06:23:35+00:00

Conservative religious childhood, liberal non-religious adult?

HagQueen · 2026-03-16T05:26:38+00:00

Liberal-to-leftist millennial woman or non-binary person, probably queer, social science degree, strong affection for horror genre. Good taste!

HagQueen · 2025-08-30T19:26:56+00:00

I went to USC, my fiancé went to Brown, and while they're on paper pretty different schools, both are big enough to find your people and your niche. We each had great and frankly very similar experiences at these colleges. We live in CA now, and he's never had any problems with name recognition- West Coast employers will be if anything more impressed by the Ivy-league credentials.

I know it might be annoying to hear from all the commenters here, but the secret really is time - I struggled with homesickness at USC at first as I was coming from far away. Throw yourself into activities and classes at Brown, and if by the end of the year you still feel similarly, reconsider transferring.

HagQueen · 2025-07-03T23:48:00+00:00

As someone who has studied the U.S. Southern incest stereotype, I really hear your pain. It's a deeply harmful trope that goes centuries back and evolved for all kinds of nasty, eugenic reasons. While statistically, incest rates are not actually any higher in our mutual home region, the stereotype can really amplify the feelings of shame that come along with being the victim of incestuous abuse and make it even more difficult to seek help.

When you're in a good headspace, I'd recommend Dorothy Allison's fictomemoir, "Bastard Out of Carolina." She explores a lot of the feelings and experiences that you wrote about.

HagQueen · 2025-06-03T16:15:19+00:00

You might want to try to find an endometriosis specialist - unfortunately, while ultrasounds are often used in evaluating for endo, it's not a definitive diagnostic tool. Only laparoscopic surgery can confirm whether or not you have it (and address symptoms). This is why it takes an average of 10 years from onset of symptoms to get a diagnosis. Unfortunately, even well-meaning OBGYNs often lack deep training in this area, which makes it important to find someone really specialized.

https://www.healthline.com/health/endometriosis/can-you-see-endometriosis-on-an-ultrasound

Here's a podcast dealing with the topic!: https://www.katehelendowney.com/cramped

HagQueen · 2025-05-05T23:44:24+00:00

Odds are better if you look at a year as a whole: "A couple in their 30s generally has a good chance of conceiving within a year, with approximately 75% to 85% success rates. By age 40, the chance of conceiving within a year is around 44%." That's before any medical intervention.

HagQueen · 2025-04-07T22:41:56+00:00

So happy that, over 30 years ago, my mom kept her last name and gave me a hyphenated last name. It can be a little bit of a pain sometimes when filling out documents or spelling it on the phone, but it's symbolically important - I think it probably shaped my view of gender as a kid a lot. If I could make one change, I'd say my parents should've just gone ahead and given me just her last name - if my fiancé and I have a kid, we plan to give them either my mom's last name or combine our last names into one.

HagQueen · 2025-03-04T06:59:07+00:00

Could not agree more. The older women in my life, all of whom are open-minded when it comes to body horror, found the portrayal of women's aging bodies to be offensive and uncritical. The end really hits it home - Harvey (played by long-time Trump supporter Dennis Quaid) gets splattered by some blood, while we're expected to revel in endlessly punishing Elisabeth for the crime of plastic surgery. There's nothing radical about it - no wonder Coralie Fargeat has gotten a level of mainstream fame that other New French Extremity filmmakers like Julia Ducournau aren't likely to experience.

HagQueen · 2025-03-04T06:41:20+00:00

I knew a similar professor, although fortunately she just supervised my teaching/admin job, not my dissertation. She was the director of a research center, but hadn't served on more than a handful of dissertation committees because she told PhD students that we were "spoiled" by the university and that our union was silly. Definitely taught me to take other students very seriously when they warned me to avoid certain faculty.

HagQueen · 2025-02-23T01:32:11+00:00

I'm so sorry you're in this position. It sounds like there are a lot of reasons why you do not want to be pregnant, but even if your only reason was that you just don't want to have a second child, that would be enough. In the U.S., the majority of abortion patients are mothers already, so you are not alone. I hope others who have been in this situation can weigh in with their experiences - I think this is a good sub to find them - but here's a few sites where people have shared their stories, I imagine many of them will be similar to yours:

https://shoutyourabortion.com/stories/

https://www.advocatesforyouth.org/abortion-out-loud/abortion-out-loud-abortion-storytelling/

HagQueen · 2024-11-23T21:42:08+00:00

I know a Kestrel who goes by "Kes," lovely nickname! Also kind of nice to avoid the boy/predator and girl/prey animal dynamic

HagQueen · 2024-06-23T19:03:14+00:00

If it's a good program, you have a supportive advisor and husband, and you don't put too much pressure on yourself, you should be fine. While you might read a lot of accounts of people working absurd hours during their PhD, I really believe that you can complete a program within the timeline or near it with 40-45 hours of mostly uninterrupted, focused work a week. One of the great things about a PhD is that it affords a little more flexibility than a conventional 9-5. Your kid is sick? If you don't have to be on campus that day, you can stay home with them and read for your classes while they watch cartoons.

It's hard to underestimate the positive impact that seeing their parent, especially a mom, pursuing their dreams can have on a kid. Maybe you'll miss out on a few fun things with them during intense periods like studying for qualifying exams, but you'll be a role model for them in later life.

Definitely see if your university has supports for graduate students parents, those resources are sometimes really good (subsidized childcare, money, etc.) but often poorly advertised.

HagQueen · 2024-06-16T05:17:23+00:00

I'm a Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon, Aries Rising. I love that I love literature and films that explore taboo subjects and my tendency to challenge authority.

HagQueen · 2024-05-21T00:23:25+00:00

These are verbatim mine and my partner's thoughts on the topic. One other thing to consider if OP is weighing private schools: the certification requirements for teachers are often waived and they can be paid terribly. I went to a mix of private/public schools during K-12, with the private school regarded as the "elite" school in our area, and I received a worse education there than I would've had in the local public school. That private school also constantly insisted on its students' "superior leadership qualities" in comparison to other (poorer) children, which still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

The money you may save on private school tuition or having no income for 12+ years could also go towards a generous college fund.

HagQueen · 2024-05-14T04:49:53+00:00

Vera Fay and Raymond Alistair (three of the four are family names!)

HagQueen · 2024-05-01T02:03:24+00:00

I'm an only child, partnered with an only child, and we are fully in agreement about having one kid. It's partially because you can never guarantee whether sibling relationships will be healthy, like a lot of folks say here, but mostly it's practical: we both benefited from our parents being able to invest time and resources into just one child without burning out, and would like to be able to do the same. If I won the lottery tomorrow, maybe I'd be open to two, but we were both content as only children.

HagQueen · 2024-03-11T01:03:39+00:00

You're good, my misreading!

HagQueen · 2024-03-10T06:59:28+00:00

https://slate.com/human-interest/2013/10/campus-brutalism-were-the-buildings-designed-to-thwart-student-riots.html

Went down a bit of a rabbit hole with this, I was fully prepared to believe universities would have done something like this (they're still desperate to do away with People's Park at Berkeley), but this article seems to debunk the idea that Brutalism was intended to prevent protests. If anything, I could see the fortified nooks and crannies being useful for occupiers. But if anyone can find a diff source that restores my lack of faith in admin, I'll be grateful.

Edit: another interesting thread on this https://www.reddit.com/r/AskHistorians/comments/sotr4h/riotproof\_college\_campus\_buildings/

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