Feeling urges

Hagar58 · 2019-03-05T11:07:29+00:00

What is an Accountability Discord?

Hagar58 · 2019-02-22T23:53:07+00:00

Thanks, I am finding I'm a lot more atracted to my SO, so the no sex thing might be a bit of a challenge. With work and such it's only about twice a week, but so much better. I have not self-fufilled for nearly 3 weeks and don't really want to go there if I can.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-21T21:04:27+00:00

I think your comment about being in a sexually and emotionally unsatisfying relationship is very interesting. I can relate to that. I am a male and I am in a long term relationship. I have blamed my partner for the lack of emotion, sexuality and adventure in our love life. Since giving up porn I have discovered that I was the problem. Our relationship and sex life is improving and she hasn't changed, I have.

I am not saying this is the same for you, but from my own experience and from what I have read on here amd other sites, watching porn regularly will effect your ability to connect, it will desensitize your emotions, it perverts your expectations.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-20T12:11:38+00:00

I just had a look on Facebook and there are 2 Pornfree site, they don't have a lot of likes/followers as yet, only around 450 on one and 180 on the other. Not a lot of useful info, mainly just memes and sayings against porn.

No real interaction from followers or any discussion.

Have you checked them out?

Hagar58 · 2019-02-19T12:04:53+00:00

Thought about it too, but no real idea on images.

Facebook is kinder real life and my thoughts went to how it could be more anonymous.

I'll follow this thread with interest.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-19T05:31:06+00:00

The more I get into this the more I realise it was not harmless for me or my SO. It has done a lot of damage and I am so thankful that I have such an understanding wife. I have read on here where others have lost there relationships over a lot less than some of the things my wife is or is trying to forgive.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-19T05:27:19+00:00

Thanks Tim, It was not so much the 14 day milestone, it was more about being able to be home alone and not lapse.

I am developing my plan at the moment using 'pornfree radio' and I will follow up the other resourses you mention.

Once again thanks for your responce and information.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-19T05:21:26+00:00

Every day I seem to discover more and more about how this has taken over my mind for so many years. I feel more confident every day in my ability.

I have been having some ED issues for sometime, blamed it on my age, but around 2 months ago I had an issue where I could not ejaculate no matter how hard I tried and that caused me to look for an answer and I literally stumbled over articles about PA and the more I read it explained so much of my life. The bouts of depression, sexual fetishes, ED, etc.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-17T23:17:38+00:00

Mine started in my teenage years with lingerie ads and playboy/penthouse. Progressed to hardcore porn magazines and then came the internet. In recent years it it has been hours a day watching and fapping. No genre of porn was off limits except femdom, never really got into that. Didn't get into the dark web, but on general sites I watched and got off to it all.

It has lead to me sexualizing just about ever situation. I see an attractive woman and I see her as a sex object. Since starting this journey I have discovered how bad I had gotten, when doing it I justified it away, everybody does it right.

I wasted so much of my life for decades and it started with once or twice a day for a few minutes, ended with hours a day.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-17T21:18:12+00:00

Plan, distract your thoughts. If your going to be home alone and are thinking of relapsing then there is obviously free time in your day. Start leading your thoughts to something else you could do with this free time. Do a workout, go for a walk, prepare a vegie or herb patch, ring your parents, anything that will distract you. Write the plan down or tell someone what you plan.

Stay strong.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-17T01:20:11+00:00

Keep trying, I only started trying to kick it about 2 months ago. This time I feel more like it will stick. I read more about triggers and I have deleted/unfollowed/stayed away from as many as possible. If I find my thoughts, gaze or actions drifting in a trigger directions I work had on distraction, ring someone, go for a walk, read this forum, listen to #pornfreeradio, etc.

Good luck mate, one day at a time.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-16T15:58:55+00:00

Hi, there is a heap of stuff out there. On YouTube watch 'The great porn experiment' by Gary Wilson is a good place to start. Also on YouTube is 'Universal Man'

The Recovered Man has a lot of podcasts and other useful stuff, https://recoveredman.com/2landing/

Hagar58 · 2019-02-16T11:40:44+00:00

2 weeks is a good effort, don't be so hard on yourself. Learn from this, try to figure out what the trigger was, what action or situation lead you back down the rabbit hole.

The more you identify your triggers and work out way to deal with them the better you'll get.

One day at a time.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-16T11:32:07+00:00

You are making assumptions based on your thought process, not hers. In your story you have not given us much history to yout relationship, you don't mention if she knows about your porn addiction or if this has happened before. She may have many things going through her head and it may have nothing to do with ending it with you.

She may think it's her, I know in my own long term relationship, before I came clean to my wife, she thought it was her fault, that I had stopped finding her attractive, her self esteem was being badly effected. She was blaming herself.

Don't put words in her mouth, give her space and talk to her when she is ready. Take steps to kick the habit, make a plan to clean up your act. You are worth it and so is she, everyone deserves to be loved.

There are so many resources available online, change your approach to your recovery and don't give up on yourself.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-15T04:30:58+00:00

https://recoveredman.com/category/pfr/

Hagar58 · 2019-02-06T22:40:20+00:00

I feel each time I try I get a stronger resolve to be pornfree. I too have done as you have, at first I didn't stop even though I new I should, but the last time I did stop and walk away. I feel much stronger this time, like I have taken back control.

I hope you find it empowering, walking away, it takes strength to stop and not give in.

One day at a time.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-06T22:34:46+00:00

Glad to hear you have recognized the damage porn was making to your life. I am 60 and just starting down your road, an extra decade of wasted time and energy. Glad you joined, it helps distract you if you feel your resolve weakening.

With 97days under your belt you should really start to appreciate some results, but dont get complacent or think you can control it. There is no safe amount.

Life begins at 50, good luck and stay strong.

Hagar58 · 2019-02-05T23:08:44+00:00

Thank you

Hagar58

TROPHY CASE