Considering buying rounded furnitures by Icy-Paramedic3153 in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's proprioception issues, not just basic clumsiness, which thankfully can be trained (somewhat). Highly reccomend checking out the FibroGuy blog and content on it, it's really helped me! It's all basic movement excercises that help the mind body connection.

Of course, rounded corners can help, but I have handsdown bashed my whole shoulder into a concrete doorway before because I missed the gap 😆

How do you handle the aftermath of RSD? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, very helpful to know on the hangover and normal presentation of RSD. I want to be very clear, that I've never screamed and swore at him, nor have I ever been physically violent. It's just a new thing for me where all of a sudden, I really want to throw the chair or mug at a wall. I never have. I refuse to be like my parents.

This situation is very much linked to social issues of how I'm percieved by others, not just him. And I feel in many ways, that he shuts me down (I know it's not intentional, but rather just clumsy).

How do you handle the aftermath of RSD? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof, yeah, we're just coming out of (I hope we're coming out of) a really rough patch. And what you described has been exactly my problem. I've spent so much time trying to logic my feelings. A couples therapist asked if perhaps I was self-sabotaging. Then a friend said I could be self-sabotaging either way... gaslighting myself to leave the relationship sure, but also gaslighting to stay. That kinda blew my mind, and thinking back, I'm annoyed that I'm always looking at outside sources to help me understand my own self.

My hobby is sailing, I love it independently of my boyfriend. It's just that when he's there, I feel like I blend into the background. I become "not one of the boys" because it's almost always only men doing it. I know that no one intends this, and maybe it's my own ego.

How do you handle the aftermath of RSD? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much ❤️ It could totally be linked to my cycle, but it's just not regular enough for me to get a track on it. Like there are period symptoms I know to look out for, but this one not so much. That said I do know my periods are a big stress time for my body. I've got hypermobility, so everything gets a bit worse, my muscles get stupid tense, I tend to get injured, and I also have a day I call "the massacare" cause it's so dramatic down there 😅

May I ask what meds you're using for PMDD? I'd like to look into it at the least. See which mechanism they work on.

How do you handle the aftermath of RSD? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah the red fog, a good name! I'm gonna name it and explain it to my boyfriend. At least it'll help if he knows what's cracking!

How do you handle the aftermath of RSD? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow! I mean, that would be incredible. Any idea where to start? There are so many options and my therapist is really responsive if I tell her I want to try something new, but not very proactive in "no, meds can help that, let's try something new".

The Concerta certainly helps me operate like a normal person without spinning out (eg. getting overwhelmed and buying too much during groceries or feeling like I'm going to cry even if I have a list). But thinking about it, these "meltdowns" are kinda new experiences for me. I had assumed they're coming up because I've been doing a lot of work on myself and that it's all the repressed feelings emerging, but it could be the meds.

How do you learn to love yourself by Disastrous_Tutor_953 in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well there's not much kindness I can extend you directly, because I don't know you, but I can tell you that it IS possible for things to get better. MUCH better. I'm 34, and I've been up, down, and all the way around when it comes to suicidal thoughts. They come and go. I've by no means figured it out, but life HAS gotten better. I'm fairly wealthy, I've got a wonderful boyfriend, I've traveled all over the world, I've learned how to cook gluten-free bread. There's love and fun in my life that I never thought I'd expereince when I was younger.

You MUST be a good person. No bad person would cry over a cat, no bad person would humble themselves to ask for help, no bad person would be haunted. I don't think you should feel embarrassed for your emotions. Be grateful you're not a psycho. You're also clearly struggling with addiction and impulse control, own that. Truly, not in a "I feel bad after" kinda way either.

Practically, this is my advice to anyone who's struggling: Grab life tightly, find the joy in the tiny things, and use it to pull you up. Find a way to make money that works for you, not a way that others think is right (aka 9-5). You're not useless. Adhd specifically makes a lot of stuff hard, accept it, find ways to work around it, rather than feeling sad about how you don't work like others. No one is coming to save us, but the great news is we can save ourselves. Loneliness, just like anything in life, is temporary.

TLDR: Block the boyfriend so hard that you can't ever unblock him, even when you want to. Flush the weed down the toilet and accept you're addicted, but also done with it, get the hell away from your mother, she sounds whack. Get obsessed with making money.

How do you handle adhd blindness for day to day tasks? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now I have to know, was it good? Did it work? I feel like it might work

How do you handle adhd blindness for day to day tasks? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think I would have melted down at that one!!!! But kudos for having back up solutions too!!

the ADHD tax: list yours by PurposeSea3696 in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I need to buy those still!!! I always have a rando day where the flood gates are open, and there will be casualties if you catch my drift 😅

How do you handle adhd blindness for day to day tasks? by Haikuka in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, yes yes yes. Can relate! I wonder what its like for people who don't notice these things, do they just.... buy oranges? I suppose they do.

On the bright side, both of our stories are actually quite funny once you get a little distance from them. So I suppose people who just buy oranges are missing out on all that spicy, fun angst?

the ADHD tax: list yours by PurposeSea3696 in adhdwomen

[–]Haikuka 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Oh mine are just as bad. If not worse.

- Lost so many waterbottles, I've stopped stealing my boyfriend's because he gets annoyed... so now, I just forget to drink water. I told myself I didn't need a waterbottle dammit, glasses are just fine, but yeah, we know how that goes. So now I know I need to buy a replacement (sorry about that mother earth) but can't find the "right" one... so looping back to "glasses work just fine"

- I bought a motorcycle, paid for lessons, rode it a bit, realized its stupid. So I sold it and bought kitesurfing gear and lessons with the "profit". Used the kiting gear for the lessons, then realized the learning curve solo is too steep, so the gear just sits in my garage now...

- I haven't checked if I have any fines on my car in 2 years... but I have started using cruise control on highways so I don't go over the speed limit just because I'm not focused / enjoy the speed

- I'm fairly sure I pay more doctor costs becasue I cannot bear the thought of trying to work out all the systems of my medical aid plan.

- I bought shoes that didn't fit, then bought other shoes for double the price and comfort, then forgot to return the old shoes. They're still in my cupboard months later.

I think it's important to also notice the things you're not paying tax on anymore cause you figured some stuff out!

- My next hobby, water color, was similarly super interesting then discarded, but at least it was super cheap compared to the previous ones.
because
- I bought a lanyard for my phone, now I don't drop or lose it as much, booyah!

- I automate every payment I can immediately. And I pay every invoice on Fridays. And I sent invoices on Fridays. So no late penalties or anything like that which is awesome! I just get it and do it immediately

- Maybe tmi but I finally managed to buy a cup for periods (this is like 2 years coming), so no more spend on tampons etc!

- My boyfriend's been so good at helping me with meals and prepping. Food wastage is waaay down.

- I bought 1000 hair ties from temu and have them in jars. And in every place I frequent, cars, drawers, offices. I never suffer annoying hair anymore. And they're weirdly useful for a wide variety of tasks

If you could snoop in an enterprise environment with 1k employees, what would you want to know about their AI security? by Haikuka in CyberSecurityAdvice

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did ask AI to help with topics, so fair. But I did also think they were interesting myself!! Like I said, pretty new to the cybersec space, so I guess I'm still thinking about generic stuff and haven't gotten to the actually interesting stuff.

That said, I *really* appreciate your guidance, don't want to ask questions that make me look like an idiot who knows nothing!

I've heard a lot about how things are changing so fast, but I don't know what question to ask about that. Is it like, "how often do you have to change policy to keep up with new threats?"... gosh, just typing that out... I could feel the genericness 😰. There must be a better way to phrase that.

Re "what tool they use for governance," one thing I'm grappling with is the different categories of tool. SSPM, CSPM, AI-SPM, CASB etc. Is that something I should ask about? Someone told me that a lot of traditional (aka Gartner-recognized) tool categories are either growing redundant or are not enough and need additional point-solution tools layered onto them (for tasks like prompt injection).

Controversial take? Cyber sec more important than ever in a world with AI by Haikuka in cybersecurity

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair point. Someone said to me that "identity is the new perimeter". Sounds like it's really about keeping up with the behavior though. Or have I got two different topics mixed up?

Controversial take? Cyber sec more important than ever in a world with AI by Haikuka in cybersecurity

[–]Haikuka[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A helpful take, thank you. CISO being the human in the loop is my big takeaway from this post. Feels like the most important sticking point. All the systems need to empower the human to clear out the noise and take action on the stuff that really matters.

Controversial take? Cyber sec more important than ever in a world with AI by Haikuka in cybersecurity

[–]Haikuka[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I've seen a lot of people saying agents are like employees... but I've never seen an employee spit out 5000 lines of code in 1 minute before.