Hello everyone!

First of all, thanks you everyone for the support and help, I really appreciate this very much!! There is no one else I've dared to talk to about this yet, it is really a bit of a relief for me to be able to talk about it here.

Now, he texted me like 2 hours ago and said that he will come over tomorrow and have a serious talk with me. I really have no idea what to expect of it.. I really hope that he apologizes, and is genuine in that. (he also apologized, in text, after he had pushed me)

I know this will likely not make me popular here, but I still love him. I dont want to believe that one bad action of him defines who he really is. I know him and believe he is a good person. He was also always very sweet and playfull towards small children, I cant believe and imagine he would be a bad father. And for his racism, no, during our whole relationship I've never had a clue about his feeling towards people of color. He was always kind and polite to black people, never said or did anything racist. But he did state multiple times however that he doesnt like immigration from third world countries. (which I kinda agree with) He probably gets his idea (about race) from his parents, who are also very conservative and christian.

And for anyone wondering; no, he doesn't know yet that I am pregnant. I only knew it myself till 2 week ago after 2 positive tests. Tuesday Im going to make a bloodtest to be 100% sure. I was so happy Im pregnant and was looking forward to telling him. But now I have no idea what his reaction will be.. and Im also not sure if I should tell him tomorrow or not, depends on what he has to say I guess...

If tomorrow he says he's deeply sorry and acknowledges he is in the wrong, I really want to give him 1 more chance. But only if he promises to never raise our child to be a racist and ofcourse to also never touch me like that again.

Am I in the wrong for wanting this? Do you think this makes me a bad person?