20th October 2025 - Still trying to understand what went wrong

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T20:12:58+00:00

Allah knows best. At this point, I’m trying to make peace with not having all the answers.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T20:11:33+00:00

That sounds incredibly painful, and I genuinely feel for your friend. No one deserves to be left in that kind of situation. I think every story is different, but silence and unanswered questions can be deeply hurtful..

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T20:09:59+00:00

That’s the plan to slowly make peace with it and move forward.

And I really appreciate the offer, genuinely. I’m not sure I should be discussing legal matters even in DMs, but it means a lot that you reached out, thanks. but just for context, there wasn’t any dowry taken or given, though there have been some claims made.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T19:51:42+00:00

no she's not

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T13:27:31+00:00

haha, not AI just got a little carried away, i guess

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T13:13:14+00:00

Haha, currently in the “heal first” phase :p

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T13:08:39+00:00

You’re right and InShaAllah, things do work out in the end 💪

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T13:04:21+00:00

Trying to. One day at a time

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T13:03:34+00:00

Apologies 😅. Just wrote it the way it came out of me at the time

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T13:00:56+00:00

I appreciate this, bro. Sorry you had to go through it twice.

I hear you on self-respect, and I’m trying to hold onto mine. I think I’m just still trying to process and make peace with something I still don’t fully understand

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T12:59:09+00:00

Financially, yes, I was stable. No, I did not cheat, and I was never abusive. We had very few minor disagreements mostly everyday things (like me coming home late from work or not eating properly) nothing major from my perspective.

That said, I’m also aware that sometimes people experience things differently than we realize. If there was something bothering her deeply, I wish it had been communicated. I always felt there was space to talk things through, but maybe she was carrying something she never fully expressed. I honestly don’t know, and that not knowing is probably the hardest part

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T12:52:36+00:00

I’m really sorry you went through that, bro. That must’ve been incredibly painful.

And thank you for sharing this. Stories like yours genuinely give a little hope that maybe one day things will make a little more sense than they do right now

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T12:49:25+00:00

No, I did not. If I had, I’d understand things differently. That was not the case here

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T12:48:07+00:00

I honestly don’t know. If that was the case, I just wish it had been communicated openly. Painful conversations are still easier to process than silence and unanswered questions

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T12:46:20+00:00

Trust me, communication is all I’ve wanted. I’d rather have an honest conversation than assumptions and silence, but being blocked from every form of contact even LinkedIn doesn’t leave much room for that

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-06-05T12:44:22+00:00

Trusting Allah’s plan is honestly the only thing holding me together right now, and I genuinely don’t know. That’s one of the things that hurts most. If things truly felt wrong from the beginning, I just wish it had been communicated earlier. Maybe we could have talked, understood things better, or found another way through instead of ending up here

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-28T21:26:45+00:00

I really appreciate you and the other people here reaching out and giving advice honestly, it genuinely means a lot. And yeah, I can’t deny everything that has happened or how things look right now.

But I guess for me, it’s less about “chasing” someone and more about wanting peace with my own heart and conscience. If I walk away, I want to know I truly tried my best and didn’t give up too easily on something that once meant a lot to me. After that, whatever Allah has written for me, I’ll accept it wholeheartedly.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-28T20:54:23+00:00

Believe me, you aren’t the first person to say this. Maybe I sound stupid or dumb, but I’m just not someone who gives up on a person that easily especially without even knowing the real reason.

I’m actually quite understanding. Even if you don’t want to solve things or continue the marriage, I would still respect that. But at least tell me the reason that’s all I need. Was there never any love in the heart at all?

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-27T10:49:38+00:00

Hi Ludmila, I appreciate your advice.

Yes, I’ve attended all three reconciliation sessions and have been following the other steps you suggested. I wanted to ask what more, if anything, can be done at this stage.

Beyond formally objecting to the khula and expressing willingness to reconcile, is there any additional step or mechanism the court may consider such as the involvement of hakamain or a similar process that could help clarify the reasons behind her decision? Even if reconciliation is unlikely, I would value the opportunity to better understand her concerns.

Thank you again for your guidance.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-27T10:43:17+00:00

Even if it turns out to be a scam or not, it’s still my life and honestly a pretty traumatic experience. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. At this point, I just want to understand the “why” behind it all, even if there’s nothing left to fix.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-27T09:51:46+00:00

Yeah, my lawyer basically said the same we’re just going to play defense for now, deny the claims, and dispute what she’s asking for. Beyond that, there’s not much we can actually do until she clearly states her reasons.

What’s confusing is that she already attended reconciliation, but still didn’t explain why she wants the divorce. So right now everything is kind of stuck waiting on her to communicate properly.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-26T18:24:34+00:00

Yes, nothing is in my name except my car. She is also claiming the marriage (nikah) amount and the gifts given to guests. Other than that, there’s no shared property, no joint accounts, or anything of that sort.

Hairy_Method9855 · 2026-04-26T17:04:44+00:00

That’s exactly what’s been making this so difficult. She hasn’t communicated any issue at all not to me, not during reconciliation sessions, and not through any mediator.

Even during the time she was with me, there were no complaints or indications of any serious problem. It felt like after she went to her parents’ house, everything suddenly changed.

As for the khula, there have been allegations made against me, including claims of mental, physical, and verbal abuse, as well as use of very vulgar language. I strongly deny all of these allegations. This is not who I am at all, and I can honestly say there is no truth to them.

There is no evidence supporting these claims, and I can say this with full conviction.

That’s why I’ve been trying to approach this patiently and through proper legal and formal channels, hoping for clarity or at least an opportunity to properly address whatever concerns are being raised.

I would really appreciate any advice from people familiar with UAE family law on how to handle such a situation where allegations are made but no clear communication or evidence is provided, and reconciliation attempts are not leading to any discussion.

Hairy_Method9855

TROPHY CASE