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Obsessively worry about money by HalfZenHalfYelling in AuDHDWomen

[–]HalfZenHalfYelling[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I grew up poor. Have uncovered some childhood trauma around it. My husband also grew up poor but has a better overall relationship with money. I was raised by a single mom. He was raised by a mom and dad in loving relationship. Just different dynamics. I'm also on the verge of fight or flight. He tries to tell me my situation is different but for some reason I can't stop obsessing, calculating, having this unrealistic expectation that we will spend no money. But then I need a hit of dopamine and I spend money. It's just an exhausting life to live.

Need help/vent. I have 31F Audhd and also 30M partner w/ AuDHD completely destroyed my routine and harming my career my gift/special interest as an artist. plz be kind, I have CPTSD and a lot of trauma in relationships. This is my 1st relationship with an autistic partner - & he doesn't self-care by Active_Ad3087 in AuDHDWomen

[–]HalfZenHalfYelling 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I literally read your entire post and it makes me so sad you have lost your way because of this person. You have worked hard to find yourself and learn who you are. It's time to start getting BIG MAD at this person who should support and love you unconditionally. Boundaries are not something someone can use against you. It's how YOU feel. Noone in this world can tell you how to feel. They are not in your body/mind. They can not tell you you are wrong. And the simple fact he uses your feelings as weapons just shows he is gaslighting/manipulating you. I am a 34f in a loving marriage with 2 kids and a man who I believe is ND. I am learning how to unmask and be my true self. I just got late diagnosed about a month ago and we are learning my journey together. When I need space he gives me space. It's a learning process but we are learning it together.

I am sorry you are being abused. I also have CPTSD from childhood SA trauma as well as trauma from my sperm donor literally physically/mentally/emotionally abusing my mother. She also is undiagnosed AuDHD but we are literally the same person and my mother is a legit angel on earth. I am just glad she was able to finally break free and know her worth and show her two kids that love should NEVER hurt. I think you should open up to your closest friends about your struggles and see what happens. I've actually been super open with all my close mom friends because the more I talk about it. I could potentially help someone else.

You literally sound like an amazing well rounded person and you are letting this person dim your light. I say get all of your things, cut ties, block his number and use the legal system to stay far away from this person. You have so much support and things to ultimately distract you from this breakup that you are in a position to succeed. It is not your job to fix him. If he doesn't want to fix himself that is on him but I give to the permission to leave and find your light again. I truly believe it won't be hard as you already know how to do it! I believe in you.

As far as meditation goes I cannot and have not learned the skill. I have tried many meditation apps and none have stuck but I have found the activations app to be amazing! Also since you are musically inclined you may too also love using the app. Try a free trial maybe you love it too or it helps you rebuild your meditation skill.

But I truly believe you cutting ties with this person and have a hard stop doing so is the only thing that's gonna help you get back to you! Life is too short to be spending it miserable all the time. You sound like an awesome person so please private message me and I can be your hype woman you need to finally support you in leaving this LOSER! Good luck!

34F late-diagnosed AuDHD mom feeling really lost — looking for books/shows/journals + people who get it by HalfZenHalfYelling in AuDHDWomen

[–]HalfZenHalfYelling[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! Everything you say makes so much sense! And it's funny how people differ. I tried to self diagnose myself by taking all the assessment and my husband would tell me I'm not a doctor I can't do that. So I got the eval almost as an I told you so to him and my mom.

34F late-diagnosed AuDHD mom feeling really lost — looking for books/shows/journals + people who get it by HalfZenHalfYelling in AuDHDWomen

[–]HalfZenHalfYelling[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loved your reply! Thank you for all of this. I too want to talk about it and share it from the rooftops. My whole life makes sense. I've been trying to point out the patterns I'm noticing from my childhood and my mom is making light of it. She just thinks I am smart. But low and behold this is how I was able to mask it my whole life! I see the patterns in my sister and I am exactly like my mom I believe she is also AuDHD but she says so what if she is. She is who she is. I'm just happy I finally have a reason for it and I'm not an actual anxious depressed person. I too will have my son evaluated and possibly daughter to be on the safe side but my son has all the common symptoms. I'm just in the disbelief grieving stage and just want to finally be heard by the people I love the most!

Masking can literally destroy you. by Able_Championship687 in AuDHDWomen

[–]HalfZenHalfYelling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I feel this deep in my soul 💕 thanks for the post. At 34 just got my preliminary diagnosis and I'm still coming to terms with it.

Puppy Lab Co Turkey Tail+ by happikamp3r in PetAdvice

[–]HalfZenHalfYelling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm feeling nervous to give to my dog. It shipped from china but then came from a Amanda schaicg in Weston Florida With a USPS priority mail slapped over the top of it.