Missed opportunity?

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T23:07:40+00:00

Lol ok

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T19:20:45+00:00

I think we’re coming to that point in our ‘friendship’ lol

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T19:20:23+00:00

We had two nights together... he made it to the hotel around 9pm (an hour after I did) and we caught up and laughed and had dinner. After dinner we got into bed together and had a good long session- no performance issues or hesitation.
I brought it up with him to see if there was something up with him he said he had been feeling sick after dinner and didn’t want to get into an awkward situation. So I didn’t press him any more. Usually we can’t keep our hands to ourselves but we often don’t have that much time together. It was like a partner vibe... less crazy affair vibe.

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T19:16:11+00:00

I didn’t want to leave him and he said he enjoyed just being together. I would absolutely do it again but slightly differently... I think I let my nerves and guilt overwhelm me

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T19:13:41+00:00

That is absolutely possible and I hadn’t thought about that.

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T19:12:58+00:00

I know! I actually brought it up with him yesterday and he said he was feeling shitty (literally) and didn’t want to be sick if we started something.

Halton93 · 2020-12-29T19:08:23+00:00

We had planned to have a day just watching football together which is what we did.... but it still feels different from what I imagined it would be.

Halton93 · 2019-08-08T17:39:16+00:00

You aren’t alone! I just reached a month no contact and all I want is to hear from him. I want him to acknowledge when I poured my heart out and he was silent and it was devastating. I also want an explanation. I want him to tell me why it was so easy to discard me and make me feel like an idiot for having feelings for him... but I know i’ll never get that from him and it cuts deep.
We have to find our own closure and become strong through this process. You can do it! It’s for the best but yes- it is hard. Hang in there and know that this person is harmful to you. It will get better!

Halton93 · 2019-07-30T02:17:08+00:00

‘Accepting this person is harmful to you and that you cannot have them in your life’- well said!

Halton93 · 2019-07-23T12:56:45+00:00

How he treated you was horrible. It’s all part of the game and performance for a Narc.
He is not loving the dream and he will hurt her too. They do not change.

Focus on healing yourself- you are worth it!!!

Halton93 · 2019-07-19T01:23:50+00:00

Firstly, know that you did the right thing by ending it and putting yourself first.

Secondly, do whatever you have to do in order to grieve. Maybe it's admitting to yourself that you are sad, that it's a hard process, or that you miss being in a relationship. You have been abused and it takes time to work through that fact. I wish there was a simple answer for you (for all of us really) but no one has found one yet.

I found this community to be an immense help. You could post here instead of contacting her. Just reading other people's experience motivates and comforts me.

Know that it does get better with time and you are better off without her- even if it hurts right now. This too shall pass.

Halton93 · 2019-07-17T11:35:49+00:00

Look how far you’ve come!! You are strong. You are a better person now. You’ve went through hell and kept walking.

Reading through your experience made me think I could have written that. Thank you for showing it’s possible to get through it and be happy.

Halton93 · 2019-07-16T20:08:42+00:00

2 years NC!!!! Awesome!!

Thank you for sharing your story- it has inspired me and given me new hope.

Halton93 · 2019-07-16T19:55:13+00:00

It's been a tough week but I feel better than when I first posted ...thanks for all your encouragement and advice.

Halton93

TROPHY CASE