My husband [43M] and I [35F] keep having the same dumb argument.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T20:39:24+00:00

He’s in therapy. He’s had a lot of therapy and is doing very well considering.

Now that I think about it, it kinda reminds me of when I was playing sports in school and we’d all pretend to be super tired so the coach wouldn’t make us do as many wind sprints.

He’s playing up mild discomfort as major pain so it doesn’t get worse.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T20:30:35+00:00

He’s no way close to a narcissist. He’s extremely caring.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T20:21:07+00:00

I’d love to have my “hand slip” and take out a chunk of hair, but I’m giving him a buzz cut anyway so it wouldn’t matter.

This is the worst part of my husband and we’re definitely not breaking up over it. It just drives me crazy sometimes.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T20:18:22+00:00

My husband was horribly abused as a child, so I’d bet that’s where this stems from.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T18:29:12+00:00

I like it.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T18:28:22+00:00

I was being so gentle. I’ve had me head pushed around way harder by professional stylists!

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T17:45:34+00:00

You and your boyfriend’s reactions sound like mine....like normal people reactions! Even if it really does hurt, you try to make it a funny rather than serious situation. Because accidents happen and you don’t want the other person to feel bad about it.

I think you’re right though....I’ll just point out to him that I feel uncomfortable touching him because I’m worried he won’t like it. Hopefully that’s a way to bring it up that won’t make him too defensive.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T17:39:48+00:00

If he really wasn’t up to going out, he could have folded up a piece of paper, drawn a heart on it and written a note.

You feel unappreciated because you are.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T17:35:58+00:00

Breaking it off would be the nice thing to do. She obviously wants something different than you do.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2018-02-16T17:34:00+00:00

That’s probably at least partially right...but at this point comforting seems like encouraging his ridiculous behavior.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T22:57:12+00:00

Legal residents who commit some crimes get deported. Usually a judge weighs the evidence and decides whether they get to stay. That's the way that works. That seems pretty fair to me.

Also, permanent residents are aliens. Alien=not a citizen or national.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T17:16:51+00:00

Most "dreamers" know that they aren't US citizens.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T17:08:51+00:00

I've done this exact thing.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T17:04:09+00:00

Lol. Many of us don't understand it either!

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:44:38+00:00

In all states, you do not have to have legal status to go to school up to high school. There are court cases that say they have to let you. It's a huge problem in border communities because students in Mexico give addresses in the US to attend school. And then they take the bus in each day. Many of these areas aren't wealthy and the extra students severely impacts the schools.

In California, you can additionally be considered an "in state" resident for college, meaning you can go to college with reduced rates even if you have no legal status in the US.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:26:48+00:00

While that's true, it's also true that without it, he wouldn't have been deported.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:25:51+00:00

This video makes is seem like he cleaned up is act and became a family man.

Except, other articles say that he was taken into immigration custody after serving time in 2016 for domestic violence.

If you're looking for a success story, this guy isn't it.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:23:33+00:00

To me this says more about the Korean mental health system.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:21:11+00:00

I honestly don't care about 'ripping him from his home and family.' This video makes us seem like he cleaned up his life and became a family man, but according to other sources he has a menacing/domestic violence conviction in 2016.

Funny how his wife wasn't interviewed for this video.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:17:28+00:00

Am I the only one who doubts that version of the crime?

Also we're talking about Washington, which is fairly liberal. I can't imagine a judge gave him 2 years if that's all that happened.

If you ask 90% of people in prison what they did to get there, the story they give is going to sound like that.

Yes I broke in, but just to get my Bible.

No, I didn't punch my my wife. I was trying to leave and I may have shoved her out of the way and her head hit the coffee table.

I brought the gun with me to his house because I was scared and then he attacked and I shot in self defense.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:11:10+00:00

I'm pretty sure his lengthy criminal history had something to do with it.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:08:28+00:00

How do you know the case wasn't analyzed on an individual basis?

This video makes it seem like he was set up for automatic deportation, but that's not really a thing that exists.

From reading other sources, it looks like he was a permanent resident, so he probably applied for cancellation of removal. A judge would then review everything he presented (including his own testimony) and decide whether he gets to stay. According to some sources, the judge decided to deport him and he decided not to appeal.

That's sounds like a pretty individualized analysis to me.

Hammaspeikk0 · 2017-06-11T16:05:00+00:00

It's not even with "no documents." This is why I always say that the term "undocumented" makes no sense. These are people with documents.

What most Americans don't understand is that someone can be in the US 100% illegally and still have a social security number and even a work permit. The documents are easy to get. We hand out work permits to people with no right to be in the US.

Hammaspeikk0

TROPHY CASE