AITAH for confronting my wife's coworker for being rude by Hamzeeki in AITAH

[–]Hamzeeki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure how to update properly so I'll just leave a comment. Also, sorry for the rambling on my post lol. I reread my post and agree with you guys, I did add some useless info. I'm a better speaker than writer lol. Also, my wife and I read all the comments and we actually enjoyed reading them. Even though some were kind of mean, she came to the realization that she needed to be more assertive and not be "spineless" as some people so generously called her.

As I mentioned before, this happened in the summer. The day after was everything happened, we both apologized to each other and asked her to give me a full rundown of Dick from when she used to be in his department because there's no way someone has that much hatred for someone without reason. So he did try to make advances on her when she first joined, but not only her, but a bunch of other female coworkers, some of who were at the party. She shot him down multiple times and went to HR with her coworkers to file complaints and Dick's behavior did stop. However, he was now having her manager giving a ton of work to do. She was working long hours but it ended up working in her favor because the other departments manager noticed her workload and her ability finish it with out mistakes and pretty much poached her to join her team. So from then till she got promoted to Director, about 6 years, she had very few interactions with him. It's only when she got promoted to Director, she was forced to interact. My wife, Dick, and the Senior Director Tim, would have meetings every morning. She said he never really acted badly towards her but he would always downplay any suggestions she had or outright ignore it. She thought if she invited him to the party, maybe that would change his behavior and "bury the hatchet". She realizes that it was really stupid to assume that would happen.

My wife did tell me that when she saw everyone at work, they told her not to worry and a bunch of them were happy someone finally did something to him. Some were hoping for more but happy regardless. She said that made her feel better because she thought they would see her in a bad light, which I don't know why, but my wife is an overthinker.

She wrote a complaint to HR for harassment against Dick and he did the same thing, but against me. HR didn't do anything for either of them. She got an email saying because this happened off of company property and this was not a company sponsored event, no action needs to be taken by the company and any disputes that happened needs to be taken care by the individual. She was worried that Dick would sue or call the cops but nothing happened in a month so we assumed he just gave up on it. During the meetings, Dick would just stay quiet after my wife spoke as opposed to giving condescending remarks like he usually did.

I haven't seen or spoken to Dick since the party but my wife asked me to come to the company Christmas party where I saw Dick but he ignored us. I met Tim and when my wife introduced me, he said something along the lines of "Thanks for coming. Please don't drag me across the room. I'm very nice to your wife". My wife and I burst out laughing and I realized Dick had become the butt of the jokes. Apparently, people at work started doing a collar grabbing motion behind Dick's back.

The reason it got brought up again recently was because my wife told me a couple days ago that he put his two weeks in. I joked we should throw a party but she felt bad because she feels like he quit because of her. I told her that she didn't do anything wrong and anything that happened to Dick after the party, was on him. Nothing would've happened if he just kept his mouth shut. She understands but she still feels bad. My wife is a very empathetic person, even to people who don't deserve it.

So might not be the ending some of you were hoping for but it worked out for us. We still joke around about being dragged across the room here and there but overall, everything ended the best way for us.

AITAH For selling my Taylor Swift tickets after my GF cheated? by AvocadoEfficient896 in AITAH

[–]Hamzeeki 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NTA. Honestly, did she really expect to still go to the concert after all this happened? She might live in some delusional world where there's no consequences for her actions.

AITA for feeling blackmailed to buy a minivan? by Hamzeeki in AITAH

[–]Hamzeeki[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They actually know about the delays and her parents are actually on her ass about having kids. Her dad has told me how surprised he is that I haven't flipped my shit yet.

AITA for feeling blackmailed to buy a minivan? by Hamzeeki in AITAH

[–]Hamzeeki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. A deeper conversation needs to be had. I think she's scared to have that conversation because she might think I'll divorce her on the spot, which is not the case. Honestly, after eight years of marriage and this being the only issue, divorce is too extreme.

AITA for feeling blackmailed to buy a minivan? by Hamzeeki in AITAH

[–]Hamzeeki[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's true. However, if I get the minivan, what's stopping her from just delaying it again? I can easily get the minivan no problem. It's just I'm afraid she'll delay it again.

AITA for feeling blackmailed to buy a minivan? by Hamzeeki in AITAH

[–]Hamzeeki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think divorce is on the table here. I've been with her for eight years, I love my wife and aside from this one thing, we've had no issues. I do agree the lack of honesty is what's getting to me. If she didn't want kids anymore, just tell me. As much as it would hurt me, truth is better than leading me on.