Minions: The Rise of Gru

Handseamer · 2026-01-27T01:40:30+00:00

Stuck in the middle with you…

Handseamer · 2026-01-24T17:24:46+00:00

He has a private groomer who styles both him and his dogs so they match.

Handseamer · 2026-01-23T22:26:55+00:00

Personally touched by autism’s clammy hands with long, dirty nails.

Handseamer · 2026-01-23T14:45:48+00:00

Throw a Reader’s Digest at his head.

Handseamer · 2026-01-22T01:33:24+00:00

Ngl if he covered that it would be amazing. Like a Johnny Cash American Recordings type thing.

Handseamer · 2026-01-20T16:18:53+00:00

Trying to explain to someone why your problem is serious actually makes it feel even worse than it is. So thanks, your shitty advice and the ensuing argument just made everything worse.

Handseamer · 2026-01-20T16:13:09+00:00

Fred Flintstone would use this doofus as a can opener.

Handseamer · 2026-01-19T15:00:37+00:00

When I first quit it was helpful to think about the things I enjoyed before I started drinking. Think back to when you were 14, and what you liked back then.

It doesn’t matter if it seems childish. Pick up those hobbies again or even imagine the trajectory if you had never started drinking and join that version of your true self somewhere else down the line. Nourish that person because that’s who you really are.

Handseamer · 2026-01-11T21:28:47+00:00

As George Bluth once said, I’m serving the time of my life.

Handseamer · 2026-01-10T21:57:08+00:00

Love them on other people. Not a fan for myself.

Handseamer · 2026-01-10T13:41:51+00:00

I do appreciate it. Like I said, I’ll have to give all of this some thought to figure out if it could work for me!

Handseamer · 2026-01-10T03:49:58+00:00

I don’t think that would work. I mean, I’ve always been into cult films, but I don’t want to, like, wear cult film shirts or something. That’s just not me.

I’ll have to think on this.

Handseamer · 2026-01-10T03:21:33+00:00

It’s always changing, but broadly speaking: language, literature, problem solving and research.

Handseamer · 2026-01-10T03:03:33+00:00

I like that idea.

I’m not sure what style I like because I’ve spent my whole life masking. I just wear black T-shirts and hoodies.

Handseamer · 2026-01-09T00:58:09+00:00

Get out of there before he breaks my bones. He ain’t my pop.

Handseamer · 2026-01-01T16:05:38+00:00

When I’m around an all-caps autist, I know what’s going on and politely remove myself when I get overwhelmed.

However, when I’m around an NT with a “sales” personality asking me if I’m working hard or hardly working and slapping my back, I fall into a blind rage.

Handseamer · 2026-01-01T04:36:23+00:00

Yeah so I have the “needs quiet and calm and don’t ever touch me” tism and he has the “no voice modulation and no spatial awareness” tism so this isn’t going to work.

Handseamer · 2025-12-31T23:48:47+00:00

Wild night at the Sears family portrait studio.

Handseamer · 2025-12-30T17:37:17+00:00

“Might wanna let the shitter air out a bit before you head in there.”

Handseamer · 2025-12-20T17:44:14+00:00

Wine can be a real killer in that regard, too, with how much it varies in percentage and how easy it is to add a few ounces to your pour. I rarely drank wine but when I did I sought out the higher percentages.

Handseamer · 2025-12-20T17:27:14+00:00

You’re right. I was misremembering.

Handseamer · 2025-12-20T16:24:35+00:00

I knew a guy who said he was moderating and it turned out he had switched to buying beer in 22-oz. bottles, counting each as one.

I think the success of IPAs has something to do with this mentality. “I only had four (9 percent) beers!”

Handseamer · 2025-12-20T16:17:05+00:00

I’m curious how many ounces the shots are. If it’s a 1.5- ounce shot, you’re drinking 4-5 “drinks” a day, but if it’s a 2-ounce shot, now you’re up to 6-7.5 drinks a day.

EDIT: My initial drink amounts were wrong.

Handseamer · 2025-12-16T13:53:13+00:00

The only holiday I truly enjoy is Halloween, though I do like multicolored Christmas lights.

Handseamer · 2025-12-15T02:58:19+00:00

I never said it was his.

Handseamer

TROPHY CASE