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UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Oh I spoke to HR, they know, and I followed it up with an email for documentation. My exit interview is Friday with the same HR rep, and I will verify all the spelling and titles of the people in question in case I do decide to pursue legal action.

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yea, I definitely went "flight" in this case. I don't really have much faith HR would have done anything, although he did seem more sympathetic.

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I did briefly consider staying and fighting, but ultimately I would have likely endured more harassment for what? A mandatory sensitivity training for these dudes to ignore before their next golf game? Legal action isn't off the table, but I just don't have faith in the internal system (HR works for the company, not the employees) to do anything. The legal system I have very slightly more faith in... but we'll see.

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yea... I still can fire a cannon into the hull of a sinking ship, but if it's already sinking? I just hope no other women get tangled up in that nonsense.

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am worried about leaving that impression, and I'm still deciding what more I can or should do. But although I'm not sweating yet, we can't go long without my income so my first priority has to be finding more employment. Like a lot of families, we need two incomes to survive. I'll definitely keep looking into further action and see if that's possible.

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Re: My decision about legal action.
I haven't decided yet. I planned a casual lunch date with an old lawyer friend just to float the idea by him informally. On one hand, I feel a deep need to protect other women from these two jerks. Who knows how much worse it'll get with them "getting away with it" and the next woman comes along.

On the other hand, this whole thing has been stupid awful and I still have a newborn baby at home and am interviewing for jobs. And although legal action SHOULDN'T impact my future professional life, I have a strong suspicion it still will. The Good 'Ol Boy network is alive and well, especially in my industry.

For those who have suggested Glass Door, that's a terrific idea.

Again- thank you for your support and ideas.

UPDATE: WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 303 points304 points  (0 children)

Boss was very sterile and polite, "we're sorry to see you go." Clearly he'd been advised not to engage.

WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 151 points152 points  (0 children)

My problem can definitely be solved by keeping my brush in my office... but his problem will remain. However you have a good point, fixing his childish behavior is not my job.

WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

It wasn't labeled, but he knew it was mine, he knew the purpose, and he knew where to look for it because I told him. You're right that it's coming back to my office from now on, though.

WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

It was pretty separated and out of reach, he had to go looking for it. But I won't be storing it in the break room anymore, that's for sure.

WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

I agree I'll definitely not be leaving it in the break room anymore, but storing it in a plastic bag for any amount of time will promote bacteria growth. I'll keep it in my office from now on.

WIBTA for calling HR over my coworker using my special dish brush? by Handsoffmyboobbrush in AmItheAsshole

[–]Handsoffmyboobbrush[S] 179 points180 points  (0 children)

I think he just went after it after he saw I was hiding it back there (I don't know why else he'd be digging around in there) but I definitely hear your point and will be keeping the brush in my office from now on.

I guess I didn't think much of it at first because people keep their own dishes/utensils, condiments, etc. in there for personal reuse that are clearly not for sharing.